Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Black Communities Conference 2018: Economics highlight





Andrea C. Imafidon had the distinct honor and privilege to speak alongside Black, brilliant, and innovated speakers. Check the highlight video to get a glimpse of the Black Communities Conference in Durham, NC. The next conference will be held the week of September 9-11 2019! BlackCommunities.unc.edu

Monday, December 3, 2018

#SelfCare: Unfriend, Unfollow, and Get Unstuck!


Now I am not for the braggadocious, "I am going to unfollow and unfriend folks on my page. If you are reading this you are safe." <---------brown do="" don="" girl="" p="" please="" t="" this="" tribe="">
I can't stand when folks make this attention-seeking announcement as if people are going to write their wrongs, correct certain behaviors to not get that unfriend/unfollowed button push when it comes to their page. You don't need to make an announcement because at the end of the day: 1. No one cares, 2. You look foolish, and 3. We all need to unfriend/unfollow people in a healthy and mature way. *Just go ahead and unfriend folks, drink your water and keep it moving because it is not that serious.*
If you are unsure and stuck on who you should unfriend/unfollow check out some tips below.
1. The Toxic/Abusive/Racist/Hatred/Any Suspicious Folks need to be unfriended immediately. They showed you their true colors many times, you constantly want to engage in negative behavior such as arguing, losing your cool, or constantly want to educate a person who is ignorant and refuse to change their ways. Even close family members, colleagues, friends, associates, and etc can and should be unfriended if such behaviors are exhibited.
2. The "I'm Living My Best Life/I Don't Catch Feelings, I Catch Flights, Folks"! Chile, just because you catch flights, you need to catch feelings because maybe you are numb and need to work on releasing and coping with some inner trauma. We all have feelings. These folks usually brag about every little detail of their lives and try to make their fellow followers/"friends" feel awful about their not so glitzy and glamorous life. If you ever feel small, less than, self-doubt or downplay your life, please unfriend these folks and start reaffirming how amazing you are. We don't know how folks are attaining these "lifestyles" and also it is social media and you recreate and fabricate who you are and what you do. *Sorry Not Sorry* People lie every day, B!
3. The "Randoms" and Network Opportunist: These folks are hella random, mainly users and have no reciprocal intentions for your "networking" relationship. These folks usually you have a mutual friend or met at a conference that you may speak at. They friend you but only hit you up when an opportunity is involved for them. They suck you dry, name drop your name to get opportunities without building a rapport with you and only slide in the DM to benefit them. Go ahead and unfriend/unfollow them immediately because these kinds of folks leave you resentful and bitter because they are habitual line steppers and boundary pushers.
4. The "Get Ghost because I didn't like what you said or did, former BFF/friend/ex-significant other": I have a major issue with immature, cowards who go ghost when times get hard, a disagreement occurred or you kept said individual accountable. This person is playing a dangerous holistic, wellness damaging game. They don't need any further access to you because they got ghost on you, stopped talking to you in real life but constantly want to keep tabs on what you're doing. Nah son, you don't need to see what I am doing because you are not worthy and mature enough to confront the unknown issue at hand. They got ghost and you constantly beat yourself up because you are trying to out what you said or did for them to go ghost. Please show them the door once all communication is exhausted and ceased. Ghosting is debilitating, damaging to your self-esteem and psyche especially when you tried to figure out and even reach out to said individual that went ghost on you. Don't go ghost, have a conversation and mutual release the relationship, if applicable. If you have been ghosted, you just need to release that person and move forward in your life. Protect yourself and flyness.
Self-Care for Brown Girls: bit.ly/SelfCareforBrownGirls

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Download Your FREE Self-Care Guide: Self-Care for Brown Girls


                         
                             Make Self-Care Your Number 1 Priority!!!
               
                 Download Your Free Self-Care for Brown Girls Workbook:  

                                    bit.ly/SelfCareforBrownGirls

Make sure you check out The Self-Care for Brown Girls Affirmations and Meditations!

http://selfcareforbrowngirls.bandcamp.com/album/self-care-for-brown-girls-audio-course


Thursday, September 27, 2018

Black Pain|Black Rage

"Can't come around
They gon' wanna bring you down

No one knows just what's inside

Doing dope and doing time

Why they messing with your mind
Black maybe..."

-Common, U Black Maybe

About a month ago on the BGFB FB Page and on the blog, I briefly discussed how stress kills us! We often forget how stress manifests into the Black rage and Black pain which silently kill us slowly and daily. Rage, pain, and trauma all coincide with being Native Black in America, dealing with constant mistreatment, no upward mobility, unstable and unhealthy environments and constant lying of everybody is fine. Being Native Black in America consist of a complicated and unhealed journey of involuntarily infliction of pain, abuse, use, and mistreatment from others who inflicted pain and rage upon us.  

Black people are empathic, probably too empathic and forgiving when we shouldn't be. We extend our grace and mercy too often while others don't reciprocate it back.  As Native Black Americans/Descendant of Chattel Slavery, we often put aside our issues and unfortunately take on the issues of folks who don't care about us or acknowledge our horrific history of mistreatment here on the very soil our ancestors build, bleed farm, and died on.    

When we are in a state of rage, sometimes we tend to project that onto other Native Blacks through respectability politics. You know the pound cake speech:

"You should straighten your hair if you want to be respected by White Folks." 
"You should code-switch and talk this way to be accepted by the masses."  "You should send your children to this school over there for better opportunities." 
"You should do this that and the third for acceptance."

Whose acceptance and at what cost?  How is that acceptance working out for those who are assimilating and conforming or perhaps trying to escape Blackness? 
It doesn't work for us because we are constantly in a state of internal rage because you are trying to achieve this unrealistic and sabotaging perfection which is non-existence. (https://www.vox.com/identities/2018/4/4/17189310/martin-luther-king-anniversary-race-inequality-racism

Internalizing our rage is killing us and have been killing us since the beginning of time. Please let it out and not let internalized rage slowly kill you. Releasing rage is unpacking years, unlearning unhealthy coping mechanisms such as self-abuse, self-loathing, and self-sabotaging behaviors. Unfortunately, we can't unlearn and unpack centuries of trauma from slavery, disenfranchisement, broken families, no wealth, and injustice. It is okay to be mad AF because to be Black in America you are already in a state of rage on a daily basis. Just don't stay angry, do something productive about such as advocating for Black Americans, providing healing work if you are a mental health professional, support Black organizations, institutions, schools, and non-profits, get involved with your local community politics and help your fellow family members and community members to progressive onward.  Do something productive with that rage instead of suppressing and internalizing it. Internalizing pain and rage develop incurable diseases.  Rage is depression (inward anger), passive-aggressive, saying you okay when you aren’t.  Please stop walking around with a fake smile but you are a ticking time bomb. These behaviors are damaging and detrimental to your holistic health.

Masking our Black Pain and Rage is a daily coping mechanism that is vaguely discussed because we don't want to play into the stereotype of being an Angry Black Woman or Man. How is it that every other human can unleash and unpack their hurt and pain but we must internalize it all for the sake of looking pristine, holding onto a career or fragile self-image?  When are we going to individually and collective heal our rage and pain?