2021 We Are Setting Boundaries: Boundaries Over Everything!

 Homework/Self-Reflection/Journaling Time: What are your boundaries and limitations?

Not ya Mama and ‘em boundaries, if they have any, however, what are your boundaries and limitations?

What areas in your life that is causing you to constantly have meltdowns and breakdowns? If you identified it, you didn’t create a boundary for it. It’s, time to create a healthy boundary so you can protect yourself and your holistic peace.

Understand that we are human and flawed and we can’t be everything to everyone! We have to place boundaries and limitations so we don’t constantly exhaust and overextend ourselves to people, places, and things that aren’t serving us.

Today’s challenge: Be authentic and transparent with yourself about your boundaries or lack thereof and write down ways you gave away your power by being a people pleaser. On the other side of the paper, write down how you are going to protect yourself, your peace, your magic, your neck (ode to Wu-Tang), and energy by recreating and setting boundaries to protect you and the people around you.

The grown folks will be alright and the users and abusers will take flight!


Yes, you are going to piss people off once you tap on and create those boundaries and reinforce them! 

Declutter Your Life and Free Your Mind

How many of you heard, "if your house is a mess, your life is a mess." This statement pertains to the holistic being. When you look around your home, do you find yourself afraid of letting go of things such as old magazines with Idris Elba on the cover, an ex-boyfriend's sweatpants, or old save the dates from past baby showers and weddings from five years ago? If you are giving this article a side-eye or sucking your teeth, significant because I am making you feel uncomfortable, and you know you have work to do! My mission is to help you de-clutter your life and free your mind of old ideas, grudges, unforgiveness, bad habits, and a toxic environment.

I used to watch the television show "Hoarders" because I wanted to know how people exist with clutter, and I also wanted to know what led that person to spiral out of control to become a hoarder. Well, I have learned that being a hoarder occurs over time. It is a kind of comfort and protection for that person who experienced traumatic events such as abandonment, various abuse, and just not feeling good about oneself but find comfort in their stuff and muck whether or not the property added value to their life or not. Also, hoarders usually isolate themselves from loved ones because they hide their toxic environment and mental health illness.

Unfortunately,  I actually have a close family member who is a hoarder, and I have learned that this particular family member has experienced abandonment, lost herself in a lifetime abusive marriage, and took on other people's toxic "stuff" by giving them permission to dump their toxicity onto her. My family member has many undercover strengths, skills, and abilities, but she is stuck in clutter. She is holding herself captive of her toxic environment, which has caused isolation, depression, and ongoing health issues. Underneath that clutter is a broken person who does not know how to celebrate nor embrace her light because it is dark underneath all that "stuff."

I wanted to shed light on how you can de-clutter your life and free your mind with a few tips that help me refocus, regain creativity and release harmful and toxic relationships. When I am surrounded by people's negative energy, unwanted and unused stuff, and being idle, I am held caged to my thoughts, my energy is lethargic, and my creative vibe is stuck. Whenever I feel that way, I pay close attention to my environment, such as who I surround myself with throughout the week, what I watch on the tube that got me stuck, what I eat, and my thoughts. Evaluating these things are essential because clutter will cause you to become stuck.

Here are Five Ways You Can De-Clutter Your Life and Free Your Mind:

1. Clean One to Two Rooms Daily: How often do you clean your home? Do you have time to clean your home an entire day, or do you usually wait to clean your home on the weekends? I typically wash my house daily by using the 30-minute rule. I usually clean my house one/two rooms at a time, depending on the severity of the messiness. Dishes are washed daily, floors are swept daily and mopped twice a week. I noticed that I didn't have time or energy to wait for the weekend and do a total clean sweep to clean my home. I like to hang out with my husband, family, and friends on the weekend, not dedicate my entire weekend to cleaning my house.
2. Clean Closet Every Season: I usually clean our closet every change of season. We accumulate a lot of clothes, shoes, and accessories that we usually forget about or don't wear due to them being out of season. I typically get boxes and bags, start filling the boxes and bags and donate items to those who need clothing. If you haven't worn an item for over 6 months, it is time for you to donate that item. Stop trying to save that item and think you may wear it again because you may not ever wear it. Instead, contribute to the local shelter, especially the homeless and domestic violence shelter. I had a friend tell me that she donates typically two to three articles of clothing every time she buys something. That's awesome! If you want to sell your clothes, you can check out Craigslist, E-Bay, Thred Up, and other online or local consignments shops.
3. Recycle Old Magazines/Newspapers: Look around your home and notice that year-old Essence magazine with Idris Elba on the cover. Are you still admiring Idris's handsome face? Come on now, why are you really holding on to that old Jet, Essence, Ebony, or your favorite magazine? You can take those magazines and start a vision board by cutting out pictures, words, and quotes. You can also donate those magazines to your local nonprofit agencies because some are looking for magazines to teach a media class or dream exploration class. For example, I am a Girl Scout leader, and I am always looking for old magazines to do a collage and do a dream board with my girls. 
4. Hire a Feng Shui consultant: Yes, ladies and gents, this is an actual career field which is impressive. A Feng Shui consultant helps you clear clutter, tips on decorating your home, assess the best colors and furniture positioning for a harmonious and happy. Feng Shui also helps attract positive energy, health, and a comfortable environment. 
5. Create a healthy boundary and limitations on toxic relationships: We thrive on love, friendships, and belonging to someone. We don't realize how toxic relationships affect our mindset and overall well-being. Relationships take a toll on all of us. We usually are vulnerable within our close-knit relationships because we care and love our relationships. Still, we often forget that some people don't love or care about us as people. Many people usually are emotional vampires, users, abusers, and just downright toxic. Whenever you are faced with a toxic relationship, you must create a boundary and limitation on the relationship, and if that doesn't work, you must release them with love. You don't want to surround yourself with those who will make you a better person. 

We live in a culture in which we are bombarded by materialistic things. Material things actually bog us down in which we are constantly on the hamster wheel trying to obtain more to keep up with "The Joneses." Always, we heard more is more instead of less is more. We should all strive to live a simple life instead of being consumed and swallowed by stuff. We are often consumed by people's things in which we do not need to take ownership of their property. Do practice to rid yourself of clutter and free your mind.

Coaching Question for you: What do you need to free yourself from? How will you de-clutter your life today?

Make sure you leave your comments in the comment section. We would love to hear from you!

Thanks for reading Brown Girl From Boston
XOXO,

Drea

Stop Killing Your Vibe: 4 Ways to be Creative with Courage

“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” — Maya Angelou

Day in and day out we give ourselves permission and others to kill our creative vibe. Many times we limit us to discover our life's passion and purpose. We stand in our own way when it come to self-exploration of our deepest passion and life's purpose. We also give permission to others to label us and what we should be doing and take their opinions of our life and continue to live in a dark place in order to please others while we are dumbing our standards and expectation of our greatness.

Drea's Confession of this past week: I held myself and mind captive and allow unnecessary things and people killed my creative vibe. I had to sit in my feelings, de-clutter my mind from the mucky and mess and get reconnected to my purpose which is to serve, uplight, empower and encourage my readers especially my brown girls find their way! The ugly truth, I open Pandora's Box and had to face some hard truths about being this stuck this week. I hope this blog post will help those who are stuck temporarily help you to understand, listen and bring about a solution to press forward to spark the creativity.

I am sure many of you are curious to know how I broke free from my creative vibe killer, with the help of being around my girls from Girl Scouts', discovering and downloading new and old music while blasting it on a sunny and warm Friday, I was happy, liberated and enjoyed the creativity vibes. We all go through some kind of mental block but we must figure out a way to go from being stuck to unstuck.

This week I challenge you to tapping into your creativity with courage. Listen to your innermost desires and reconstruct your thoughts. Here's how:

1. Set limitations and healthy boundaries: We live in an ADHD society in which we are bombarded by a million thoughts, TV shows, gossip, negativity and vibe killers. Many times, we don't have boundaries that protect ourselves or our thoughts. We must set healthy boundaries with ourselves and others. We cannot be everything to everyone. We must be FLY (First Love Yourself) before we can love others. When we are constantly trying to be everything to everyone, we become bitter, on the verge of burnout, and confused. Stop giving permission to those who are vibe killers and protect you and your creativity. What boundaries do you need to create today in order for you to become unstuck?

2. Leave Work at Work : Your home should be your peaceful, safe haven. Many of us are undercover workaholics. We are identifies by our jobs and titles, we talk about our jobs, clients, and work drama while we are out with friends and families. If you are constantly complaining about your work, coworkers, clients and work environment, more than likely you are not happy. Maybe your 9 to 5 is killing your creativity vibe and you need to turn your thoughts around. Start discovering your innermost passion and start working on how to turn your passion into profit.

3. Stop being a party pooper: There is nothing wrong with being a homebody and enjoy the comforts of your home but when you are existing rather than living that is a true sign that your creative vibe is being killed slowly. Stop being a party pooper and enjoy live. Try a new activity, go to a festival, try a new restaurant, listen to a different genre of music, go and experience something new. Stop rejecting new things and start embracing new experiences. Have fun and be the life of the party for once.

4. Be still: Going back to #1, we live in an ADHD society in which people don't know how to be still in the hustle and bustle of world. As human beings in 2014, we always preoccupied with our next unknown move. That's a shame that we must unplug from reality to be still. We are sensitive to being wired and plugged to others day in and day out. Take at least 15-30 minutes a day to unplug from society. Get out the house, ask your sister-friend out for coffee and face to face conversation, read, lay on your coach in silence and just sit with your thoughts. Being still is so important and beautiful because the higher being/God will reveal some powerful stuff to you. When you are constantly bombarded by stuff, your vibe and energy will be killed.

My challenge to you this week: I want you to be creative with courage. Say no to people and things that no longer serve or uplift you. Say no to limiting beliefs about yourself. You can live your life boldly and out loud. Evaluate each lesson from 1-4 above. Do your life reflect one or all of these things? If so, are you what changes are you willing to make to discover your innermost passion and life's purpose? Jot down what your ideal scenario/day would look like once your to transition your thoughts.

Leave your comments, I'd love to hear from you!

XOXO,

Drea