If I’m Honest Is Here: What Healing Taught Me About Choosing Myself

Whew.

I wrote another book, y’all.

And If I’m Honest is officially out in the world.

Even typing that feels a little wild because this book came from a version of me who was trying to figure out what life looked like after disappointment, heartbreak, change, grief, and realizing that some things I desperately wanted were simply not meant to come with me into my next chapter.

If I’m honest, no pun intended, I didn’t know all of this was going to turn into a book. I was just writing. Writing through the silence. Writing through the questions. Writing when I was angry. Writing when I finally had clarity. Writing when God was showing me things about myself that I probably would have preferred not to see. 😂

And somewhere in all of that writing, I started meeting myself again.

Not the version of me who could tolerate anything. Not the version who thought being understanding meant having unlimited grace for everybody except herself. Not the version who made herself smaller so other people could remain comfortable.

Me.

The woman underneath all of that.

Healing Didn’t Look Like I Thought It Would

Healing wasn’t me sitting around waiting until I magically felt better. It looked like therapy. It looked like boundaries. It looked like prayer. It looked like being quiet long enough to hear myself think. It looked like accepting that closure doesn’t always come with an apology or explanation.

But healing also started looking like living.

I started creating again. I picked up watercolor paint. I made jewelry. I danced. I traveled. I took photographs. I joined a writing community. I tried new things simply because they sounded interesting.

And somehow, in one of the hardest seasons of my life, my creativity came alive.

That part still gets me.

Because sometimes we think healing means getting back to who we were before something happened.

I don’t want to go back.

I like who I’m becoming.

And Then There Was If I’m Honest

This is probably the most vulnerable book I’ve written. There are essays. There are interludes. There are pieces of my story that required me to sit with myself and ask, Girl, are we really putting this in the book?

Apparently, the answer was yes. 😂

So congratulations.

This is your opportunity to get all up in my business.

But underneath the humor is something much deeper. I wrote If I’m Honest because I know I’m not the only person who has had to rebuild. I’m not the only woman who has loved deeply and then had to learn how to pour some of that love back into herself.

I’m not the only person who has had plans fall apart and wondered, Okay, God…now what?

And I’m definitely not the only person who has discovered that sometimes the life waiting on the other side of disappointment looks nothing like the life we originally prayed for.

Sometimes it looks different.

And sometimes, different turns out to be beautiful.

🎥 Watch Me Read From If I’m Honest

  

In this video, I’m sharing a little piece of If I’m Honest, talking about what this book means to me, and saying thank you to everyone who has supported me along the way.

And yes, I misspoke in the video. I’m an ’80s baby who was raised in the ’90s. Y’all knew what I meant. 😂 I wasn’t recording it again!

The Silence Became Sacred

There was a time when silence felt uncomfortable to me.

Now?

The silence became sacred.

It gave me room to hear God. It gave me room to hear myself. It gave me room to stop chasing answers and start paying attention to what my life was teaching me.

Eventually, I stopped asking how I could get my old life back.

I started asking:

What can I create with the life I have now?

Apparently, quite a bit.

A book. Art. Joy. Peace. New experiences. A softer relationship with myself.

And I’m just getting started.

Thank You

To everybody who has read Brown Girl From Boston over the years, purchased one of my books, shared one of my posts, sent me a message, encouraged my creativity, prayed for me, or simply quietly rooted for me: thank you.

Seriously.

I don’t take any of it for granted.

And above everything else, I give thanks to the Most High for the gift of writing. For giving me something to say. For allowing me to turn pain into purpose without pretending the pain never happened. For reminding me that an ending doesn’t mean God is finished writing the story.

So today, I’m celebrating.

Not just because I published another book.

I’m celebrating because I stayed the course.

I kept living. I kept healing. I kept creating. I kept praying.

And I kept becoming.

If I’m Honest is officially here.

Come get all up in my business. 😂🤎📖

And maybe somewhere inside my story, you’ll recognize a little bit of your own.

Peace, Love, and Light,

Drea

📖 Get Your Copy of If I’m Honest

If I’m Honest: Essays on Truth, Healing, Love, and Becoming is available now.

Master the Art of Mental Resilience to Thrive in an Uncertain World Featuring Blogger Kevin Ogle

Busy professionals balancing careers, family responsibilities, and constant news updates are being asked to make big decisions with incomplete information. The core tension is simple: life keeps changing faster than planning can keep up, and uncertainty management can start to feel like a full-time job. A future-proof mindset treats that pressure as something trainable, shifting focus from controlling outcomes to strengthening the inner capacity to respond well. With stronger mental resilience, psychological adaptability, and steady emotional strength, unpredictability becomes a challenge to meet rather than a threat to dread.

Understanding the Building Blocks of Resilience

Resilience is not a single trait you either have or lack. It is a set of skills and attitudes you can practice, rooted in the process of adapting well when life changes your plans. A useful working model includes openness to change, curiosity about uncertainty, lifelong learning, mindfulness, emotional agility, supportive relationships, and realistic optimism.

This matters because each piece solves a different everyday problem. Mindfulness steadies your attention, emotional agility helps you handle tough feelings, and relationships keep you from carrying everything alone. Curiosity also reduces panic by turning stress signals into information, starting with self-curiosity about what you think and feel.

Picture a sudden schedule change at work right before a family commitment. Openness helps you pivot, learning helps you ask better questions, and realistic optimism keeps you focused on what can still go right. You check in with your body, name the emotion, and message a trusted colleague for help. With this model in mind, career transitions become a practical training ground for resilient decisions.

Reframe Career Change as a Resilience Training Ground

Once you understand resilience as a set of trainable mental building blocks, career change becomes a real-world place to practice them under pressure. Shifting roles or industries can be a powerful resilience exercise because it asks you to tolerate uncertainty without freezing, stay open to new opportunities, and treat learning as a continuous process rather than a one-time phase. Instead of interpreting the unknown as a threat, you can use it as feedback: explore what’s changing in the job market, what skills are becoming more valuable, and where obstacles might slow progress.

That context matters because studies suggest that even as burnout and dissatisfaction rise, many employers are prioritizing external hiring over developing existing talent, deepening skills gaps and narrowing growth pathways for both workers and organizations. For a clearer view of these evolving realities and common workforce barriers (along with signals for where opportunity may be growing), you can explore career resources from UoPX. With that kind of clarity in place, the next step is turning it into simple weekly habits that keep your mindset flexible and steady.

Daily and Weekly Habits for Mental Resilience

Resilience grows through small reps, not big breakthroughs. When life shifts fast, these habits help you regulate stress, keep learning, and respond with options instead of panic.

Two-Minute Body Scan

●       What it is: Use a check-in with your body to name three physical sensations.

●       How often: Daily, especially before hard conversations.

●       Why it helps: You notice stress early and choose a calmer next move.

Five-Breath Reset

●       What it is: Take five slow breaths, counting longer exhales than inhales.

●       How often: 2 to 3 times daily.

●       Why it helps: It interrupts spirals and restores decision-making clarity.

Weekly “What Changed?” Review

●       What it is: List three changes this week and one thing you can control.

●       How often: Weekly.

●       Why it helps: You practice realistic optimism without ignoring risks.

One Skill Block

●       What it is: Spend 30 minutes learning one tool, concept, or workflow.

●       How often: Weekly.

●       Why it helps: Progress builds confidence even when outcomes feel uncertain.

Reach-Out Loop

●       What it is: Send one supportive message or ask one specific question.

●       How often: Weekly.

●       Why it helps: Connection creates perspective and reduces isolation.

Resilient Mindset Questions People Actually Ask

Q: How do I stay optimistic without ignoring real risks?
A: Use “grounded optimism”: name the risk, name what you can control today, then choose one action. Set a short worry window (10 minutes), write the concerns down, and end with a next step you can complete in 15 minutes. Optimism is the decision to act, not the denial that things are hard.

Q: What if career uncertainty is making me feel stuck or behind?
A: Normalize it first: the average person changes careers 3-5 times, so pivots are part of modern work. Next, shrink the problem by building a “two-track plan”: a stability move (protect income) and a growth move (build a skill). Even one small application, conversation, or portfolio update per week restores momentum.

Q: How can I keep learning when I’m exhausted and busy?
A: Treat learning like maintenance, not a major project. The ongoing pursuit of knowledge can be 20 minutes, one tutorial, or a single chapter. Pick one theme for 30 days, schedule two short sessions, and track completion, not mastery.

Q: What is emotional agility, and how do I use it at the moment?
A: Emotional agility means noticing what you feel, naming it accurately, and choosing a response that matches your values. When emotions spike, say: “I’m noticing anxiety,” then ask, “What would the steady version of me do next?” Start with one micro-choice: pause, clarify, or ask one question.

Q: When should I ask for professional help instead of trying more tools?
A: If sleep, appetite, focus, or relationships are consistently suffering, support is a strength move. Consider talking with a clinician if anxiety or low mood lasts weeks, or if you’re using substances or avoidance to cope. Tools help, and care helps you use tools.

Take One Small Step Toward a Future-Proof Resilient Mindset

Uncertainty will keep shifting the rules, and the real strain comes from trying to feel confident without pretending everything is fine. A resilient approach, grounded in realistic appraisal, flexible thinking, and steady self-regulation, turns that tension into resilience key takeaways you can actually use. Over time, this builds sustainable optimism and strengthens emotional and cognitive adaptability, so that setbacks become information rather than identity. Resilience is practicing the next useful response, even when the future stays unclear. 

 

How to Ease Financial Stress and Protect Your Mental Health: Written by Kevin Ogle

Busy parents balancing bills, childcare, and unpredictable expenses often carry financial stress long after the bills are paid. The core tension is simple and exhausting: financial well-being challenges demand constant attention, while the mind keeps replaying worst-case outcomes. Over time, those mental health effects can show up as stress and anxiety, sleep trouble, irritability, and a sense of dread that makes everyday decisions feel heavier than they should. General readers don’t need perfect finances to feel better, but they do need a clear way to understand how financial pressure affects the body and brain so that mental health stays protected.

How Money Stress Affects Your Mind

Money pressure is not just a math problem. When bills, debt, or uncertainty pile up, your brain can treat it like a threat, triggering worry, tension, and a low mood that is hard to shake. That is why money negatively affects mental health for many people.

This matters because emotional stress changes how you think. You may avoid opening mail, snap at your kids, or feel frozen when a simple choice needs a decision. When you see the stress response for what it is, the right fix feels clearer and less personal.

Think of debt like a phone app running in the background. It drains your attention all day, even when you are trying to rest. Some findings suggest people in debt can be three times more likely to face mental health problems. With that link clear, cash options like selling a life insurance policy can feel practical, not desperate.

Consider a Life Settlement as a Lump-Sum Cash Pressure Valve

When money worries feel constant, a single move that creates breathing room can ease the mental load quickly. For some policyholders, selling an existing life insurance policy through a life settlement can provide a lump-sum cash payment that helps relieve financial strain. That infusion of cash can create more flexibility during a challenging season, reducing day-to-day pressure and the stress that comes with feeling stuck.

It’s important to go in with clear eyes: a life settlement usually means giving up the policy’s death benefit, so you’ll want to weigh what you’re trading away against the relief the cash could provide. Before taking action, seek professional guidance so you understand the implications for your situation.

If you explore this route, consider working with a life-settlement broker who represents policy owners as a fiduciary. A broker can manage the entire life settlement process, seek competitive offers from multiple buyers, and typically charge no upfront fees, earning a commission only if the settlement closes, while allowing you to cancel at any time. To start comparing reputable options, you can review lists of top life insurance policy buyers. Once you’ve identified any bigger pressure-release options like this, the next step is building a calmer plan with a simple, repeatable money reset.

Build a Calmer Money Reset You Can Maintain

This money reset turns vague worry into a clear, repeatable plan so you can feel more stable week to week. It is built for real life, not perfection, so general readers can make progress even with a busy schedule and uneven expenses.

1. Take a full-money inventory
   Start with a simple list: income sources, bills, debts, savings, and any upcoming expenses in the next 60 to 90 days. A checklist-style review helps you review your finances so you can see what is urgent versus what is just loud. The goal is clarity, not judgment.
2. Build a realistic “baseline” budget
   Choose a spending plan you can actually follow for the next month, using what you learned from your inventory. Cover essentials first, then set a small, specific amount for variable spending like food and gas so you are not surprised later. If money is tight, a “good enough” budget that you revisit weekly reduces stress more than a perfect one you avoid.
3. Create a stick-with-it plan for savings and bills
   Pick one or two automatic actions that remove daily decision fatigue, like auto-paying the minimums and auto-transferring a small amount to savings on payday. Use a quick refresh of your savings strategy to decide what you are saving for and whether you are saving consistently. Even small buffers can help you handle surprises without spiraling.
4. Reduce debt strategically, one target at a time
   List each debt with balance, interest rate, and minimum payment, then choose one focus method: pay the highest interest first to reduce cost, or the smallest balance first to build momentum. Keep every account current, then direct any extra dollars to your chosen target until it is gone. Simplicity is the point because fewer moving parts means fewer anxiety spikes.
5. Talk with a financial professional for a second set of eyes
   Bring your inventory, budget, and debt list to a fiduciary financial planner, accredited nonprofit credit counselor, or your bank or credit union to sanity check your plan. Ask for a one-page action list you can follow for the next 30 days, including what to automate and what to renegotiate. The right support can turn “I hope this works” into “I know what to do next.”

Money Stress FAQs: Quick, Reassuring Answers

Q: What’s a fast way to calm down when money anxiety spikes?
A: Do a two-minute “name and sort” list: what must be handled this week, what can wait, and what you can’t control today. Then pick one tiny action, like checking one balance or scheduling one bill. Short, concrete steps tell your brain you’re not helpless.

Q: How do I stop checking my bank account obsessively?
A: Set two planned check-in times per week and keep a running note of questions to handle then. If you need daily visibility, use alerts for low balances and due dates so you’re not refreshing all day.

Q: When does financial counseling make sense?
A: Consider it when you’re juggling past-due notices, can’t see a path out of debt, or keep restarting budgets. A counselor can help you prioritize, negotiate, and build a realistic plan you can actually follow.

Q: When should I get mental health support for financial stress?
A: If worry disrupts sleep, concentration, or relationships for more than two weeks, it’s time to reach out. Many people are struggling, including household incomes under $30,000, so you are not alone.

Build Weekly Financial Self-Care Habits to Lower Money Stress

Money worries can hijack sleep, focus, and mood, especially when the next bill feels louder than everything else. A supportive financial mindset, treating finances like ongoing care, not a pass/fail test, helps turn panic into steady attention through simple financial self-care habits. Over time, maintaining financial well-being becomes more manageable, and the motivation to reduce stress comes from noticing progress rather than chasing perfection. Small, consistent steps create long-term financial health and calmer days. 

The Wait Is Over: If I'm Honest Is Available for Preorder

There are moments in life that feel almost impossible to put into words.

This is one of them.

For the past several months, I quietly stepped away from social media. From the outside, it may have looked like I disappeared. But behind the scenes, I was living one of the most transformative seasons of my life.

I healed.

I traveled.

I prayed.

I cried.

I created.

And somewhere between the quiet mornings, therapy sessions, solo adventures, photographs, journal entries, and conversations with God, I wrote.

Today, I'm incredibly excited to finally introduce If I'm Honest, the realest book I've ever written.

This isn't just another book. It's a collection of essays born from a season of becoming. Every page reflects moments of faith, healing, forgiveness, boundaries, love, grief, joy, and choosing myself again.

Some stories made me laugh.

Some made me cry.

Some challenged me to confront parts of myself I had ignored for far too long.

For the first time, I'm sharing pieces of my journey that I've never shared publicly. My hope is that as you read these essays, you'll find pieces of your own story within them.

If you've ever had to rebuild your life...

If you've ever questioned your worth...

If you've ever wondered whether healing was still possible...

This book was written with you in mind.

🤎 Preorders Are Officially Open

If I'm Honest officially releases on August 19, and today I'm inviting you to be part of this journey from the very beginning.

If my writing has ever encouraged you through Brown Girl From Boston, I would be honored if you preordered a copy.

📖 Preorder your copy today: (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H96JK4W7)

Thank you for reading my words, supporting my creative journey, and believing in me long before this book ever existed.

This season refined me, not defined me.

And now, I finally get to share what the quiet was creating.

Much love and light,

Drea

Through My Lens: Post-Therapy Thoughts at the Lake

 

Photo by Andrea Stallworth
Choccolocco Park | Oxford, Alabama

                                                            Jesus wept. So did I.

After my therapy session, there were no words left.

Sometimes words can't carry the weight of what you're feeling.

Sometimes you just have to get still, listen to God, and cry.

The Art of Choosing Myself

                An excerpt from my upcoming essay collection, If I'm Being Honest

There comes a point in life when you realize you've spent more time waiting than living.

Waiting for the right season.
Waiting for the right relationship.
Waiting until you feel ready.
Waiting for permission to fully embrace the life that's already yours.

For years, I believed joy would arrive someday—that life would truly begin once everything fell into place. Healing taught me something different. It reminded me that life isn't something we postpone until the circumstances are perfect. It's unfolding every single day.

The Art of Choosing Myself is one of the most personal essays in my upcoming collection, If I'm Being Honest, because it tells the story of what happened when I stopped waiting and started living.

I hope these words encourage you to embrace the life you have today while trusting God with the life you're still praying for.

---

There was a time when I believed joy had to be shared to be real.

I thought the best meals were meant to be eaten across from someone else.

The best concerts were meant to be experienced hand in hand.

The best vacations require company.

The best memories needed witnesses.

Then life taught me something unexpected.

Some of the most beautiful moments of my life happened when it was just me.

After years of surviving, grieving, rebuilding, and waiting for life to feel "normal" again, I stopped postponing my happiness.

I stopped waiting for someone to accompany me before I experienced joy.

Instead, I started asking myself a different question:

"What would make me feel alive today?"

Sometimes the answer was simple.

A walk through an art festival.

A concert under the stars.

A museum.

A solo road trip.

A quiet dinner.

A candle-making class.

Taking photographs of places that made me pause.

Watching people dance.

Laughing with strangers.

Buying myself flowers just because.

None of those moments were extraordinary by themselves.

But together, they became something sacred.

They became evidence that my life was happening now—not someday.

For years, I unknowingly postponed joy.

"I'll do that when I'm married."

"I'll go there when I have someone."

"I'll celebrate after I accomplish this."

Healing reminded me that life is not a waiting room.

It is happening every single day.

I realized I wasn't learning how to be alone.

I was learning how to enjoy my own company.

There's a difference.

Being alone can feel like absence.

Enjoying your own company feels like freedom.

The more I chose myself, the less I needed external validation to enjoy my life.

I became curious again.

Creative again.

Playful again.

I started saying yes to experiences instead of excuses.

I wandered through festivals with my camera.

I explored cities I'd never seen before.

I laughed out loud with no audience.

I created memories that belonged entirely to me.

And somewhere along the way...

I stopped feeling like I was waiting for my life to begin.

It already had.

One of the greatest gifts healing gave me wasn't confidence.

It was permission.

Permission to stop waiting.

Permission to stop apologizing for taking up space.

Permission to enjoy the life God had already given me.

Today, choosing myself doesn't look selfish.

It looks like stewardship.

It looks like honoring the woman God is shaping me into.

It looks like protecting my peace.

It looks like saying yes to joy, even when no one else is there to witness it.

Ironically, the more I learned to enjoy my own company, the more open I became to healthy companionship.

Not because I needed someone to complete my life.

But because I had finally built a life worth sharing.

Choosing myself never meant choosing isolation.

It meant refusing to abandon myself ever again.

Because if I'm honest...

The greatest love story I almost missed...

Was the one between the woman I was becoming and me.

---

Thank you for reading.

The Art of Choosing Myself is one of the essays featured in my upcoming collection, If I'm Being Honest, a book about healing, faith, resilience, and learning to embrace the life you're living while trusting God with the life you're still praying for.

📖 Pre-order your copy here:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H96JK4W7

Thank you for supporting independent authors and for being part of this journey.

Love,

Drea

 

Through My Lens: Small towns. Big culture.

Every small town has a story. Meridian welcomed me into hers.

Shout out to Meridian, Mississippi, for the warm hospitality. Sometimes the best experiences happen in places you never expected. I've been welcomed with open arms, experienced the beauty of Ailey II, and embraced the rich history, culture, and diversity that make this city special.

As the saying goes, it ain't where you're from, it's where you're at. Wherever you are, be present. Embrace the people, the stories, and the community around you. You just might leave with more than memories; you'll leave with perspective.