Don't Forget Who You Are!!

"Don't forget who you are

Don't forget who you are

You're blessed with it

Baby, so marvelous

No one likes you; just look around

Yeah, you're too strong to turn around" -Don't Forget Who You Are, Common ft. PJ

If you have been following my life via social media, I have experienced a spiritual awakening, radical acceptance, self-love, and holistic upgrade since November 2020. I would say the glow-up and grow-up occurred since the beginning of 2020. Still, I have really tapped into the awakening since November when I found myself in victim consciousness of being in a full-blown breakdown of being abandoned, neglected, alone, and broken. There is always beauty in the struggle of experiencing breakdowns, breakups, and breakthroughs. Some moments I've lived out loud, some moments I suffered in silence, and some moments I just laid there and allowed life to happen to me. At first, I was numb and uninterested in the healing process because I am a healer, which was not supposed to happen to me. I was like God, Fam, this ain't it and what I got in return....a whole paradigm and spiritual shift...instantly. Honey, I had my edges, eyebrows, lashes, and everything snatched. All I could do was laugh, pray, sit in it, cry, isolate, and allow life to happen to me. Rinse. Wash. Repeat. 

            Here are a few lessons and blessings I have experienced along the way:

I remember how dope, awesome, fly and blessed I’m truly am. I’m so tapped into the healing process that I get overwhelmed with the unlimited downloads and synchronicities God provides. Each day, I find myself being truly unbothered by things that bother me and disrupt my entire day.

                                            My healing process includes:

👸🏾Being in therapy despite being a therapist and Professor (we go through it)” because we are flawed but still worthy)

🙏🏾Praying and meditating have upgraded my entire life. Upgrade your spirituality and develop your own relationship with God!

✍🏾 Journaling saved my life and evolved my personal growth and development.

🗣 Speaking and standing in my truth. Speaking from my heart.

Mirror Work and Affirmation work definitely helped me tap into my divine feminine and heal the invisible scars!

Brown Girl Affirmation: I am worthy of a beautiful life. I am awesome and deserve all the amazing things that I am manifesting!

When you self-mastery inner peace, happiness, spirituality, and self-love, you exude it from the inside to the outside. You can rock new clothes, lashes, dope accessories, have a dope career, and more, but if your inner soul and spirit are in conflict, you can forget having peace in your life.

☮️ Master peace instead of being in pieces.

✨Allow your light and confidence to be contagious.

👸🏾Enjoy the journey of who you are becoming.

What do you need to surrender and heal from? Comment in the comment section. 

SN: Shout out to my tribe for who is rocking with my vibe. Y'all have been putting up with me, celebrating me, loving me, and rocking with me even when I couldn't tolerate or love myself. I am deeply grateful for all of y'all. I love y'all from the bottom of my heart and soul!

SNN: I gotta give Common props for blessing us with some amazing music within the last year and a half. Go check out Let Love and A Beautiful Revolution (Pt 1). These two albums, along with my solo dance parties, are life!

                                           "Remember your light when the world seems shady." -Common

Peace, love, blessings, and light!

 

For Brown Girls: Be Better, Not Basic! Stop Associating with Haters

"What they do

They smile in your face

All the time they want to take your place

The back stabbers (back stabbers)" -The O'Jays, Backstabbers 1972

Eddie Levert and The O'Jays were ahead of their time in 1972 when they released Backstabbers. Backstabbers is an ole school term of calling one of your "so-called" friends who turned against you. In 2014, we call them haters. Haters are not your motivators! See we can have hidden haters within our tribe but haven't adhered to the writing on the wall nor peeped the red flags. 

Haters are easy to detect, you can see them coming a mile away but somehow you are existing in an abusive, highly dysfunctional pseudo-relationship. Let me tell you, end that craziness quickly because hating and negativity are bad for your health, chile. How do I know? I had to terminate and ousted a hidden hater from my village.  I was in fakefriendsisship, (I just made that term up) from middle school to high school until I woke up and had enough.  We did everything together from volunteering, play basketball and even work together. She even came to visit me during my freshman year at Tuskegee University in Alabama. But during our tremendous pseudo best friend sistership, she was preying and praying for my downfall. From name-calling to her negative attitude; all in the name of "Girl, l I'm just playing with you. Let's stop right here and dissect this one. 

Now there is a time in place in which you do call a friend out in a firm and loving matter to bring attention to some unhealthy matters that are dimming your light and no longer serving you.  You want to empower and encourage your sister-friends in your village to do better. You hold them accountable and responsible for their actions. You just don't tear them down and act foolishly because you think that's going to bring out the best in them. Not! You certainly don't go around and bash them to any and everyone who wants to hear. That's how ish gets started! 

Therefore, I classify individuals like this as a hidden hater.  Hidden haters are the ones who want to be like you, celebrate your mistakes/downfalls, have a fragile and untrained ego and tons of insecurities and mask it by being rude, overly and harshly opinionated and abusive.  I digress....back to the topic. I had to finally let my hidden hater go because she brought to much pain, drama and dark days into my life and I allowed that to happen. I had to put my big girl panties on and admit to the negativity. 

Ways to spot a hidden hater

He/she is miserable, bitter, resentful, ish starter loves conflict and controversy and love and thrives from seeing people beefing.  These people are the ones who will show up and show out negatively. When you hear their name or realize they are going to be at a specific occasion you cringe because you know he/she is going to bring the pain like Method Man. 

Hidden haters say things like 

You think you are better than people? Who do you think you are to do (fill in the blank)? Take slick jabs at you. Covertly make slick remarks trying to cover up as a joke. You know such and such don't like you. Blah blah blah! They have nothing positive or nice to say because their life is filled with unresolved issues, fragile ego and miserable. Unfortunately, they are terrorizing someone else's life right now.

How and when to dismiss the hidden hater

Other people notice the handwriting on the wall before you do. Each day is a day closer to dismissing the hater. You have to be absolutely "sick and tired" of the nonsense. Once YOU get tired, you will release and surrender them with love and peace. You don't want to get on their level of basic bitterness. You want to hold yourself to a higher standard, forgive them and release them. 

Forgiving is an action and practice in which you wholeheartedly forgive them for their actions and mistreatment because they don't know better, surviving at their basic level and they don't know how to love and be authentic because hurt people, hurt people. Hidden haters are hurt people who haven't healed and they go around and hurt others.  You have to release them with love to clear the negativity. You can forgive and keep it moving. Forgiveness and surrendering don't mean to constantly deal with torment and abuse. Whether they accept your forgiveness that is on them but you did your part. Forgive yourself as well. Many times we beat ourselves up because of we "coulda", "woulda", "shoulda" ourselves to death but we now know better and decide to take action. 

Also, keep an open heart and don't allow the days, weeks, months or years of damage to bring bitterness into your life. When you see hateration coming don't greet it, ignore it and run from it. Say no to basic bitterness.  Get some hater spray and spray the haters away. Remember this scripture and apply it: 1 Cor 15:33: "Do not be misled. Bad associations spoil useful habits."  Hating is bad for your health and life is too short for fake friendships and sisterhood. 

Thank you for reading Brown Girl From Boston! We appreciate you!

XOXO your sister-friend,

Drea

Coaching Question: Do you have a hidden hater disguise as a "friend" in your village? Have you terminated the fakefriendsisship?