If I’m Honest Is Here: What Healing Taught Me About Choosing Myself

Whew.

I wrote another book, y’all.

And If I’m Honest is officially out in the world.

Even typing that feels a little wild because this book came from a version of me who was trying to figure out what life looked like after disappointment, heartbreak, change, grief, and realizing that some things I desperately wanted were simply not meant to come with me into my next chapter.

If I’m honest, no pun intended, I didn’t know all of this was going to turn into a book. I was just writing. Writing through the silence. Writing through the questions. Writing when I was angry. Writing when I finally had clarity. Writing when God was showing me things about myself that I probably would have preferred not to see. 😂

And somewhere in all of that writing, I started meeting myself again.

Not the version of me who could tolerate anything. Not the version who thought being understanding meant having unlimited grace for everybody except herself. Not the version who made herself smaller so other people could remain comfortable.

Me.

The woman underneath all of that.

Healing Didn’t Look Like I Thought It Would

Healing wasn’t me sitting around waiting until I magically felt better. It looked like therapy. It looked like boundaries. It looked like prayer. It looked like being quiet long enough to hear myself think. It looked like accepting that closure doesn’t always come with an apology or explanation.

But healing also started looking like living.

I started creating again. I picked up watercolor paint. I made jewelry. I danced. I traveled. I took photographs. I joined a writing community. I tried new things simply because they sounded interesting.

And somehow, in one of the hardest seasons of my life, my creativity came alive.

That part still gets me.

Because sometimes we think healing means getting back to who we were before something happened.

I don’t want to go back.

I like who I’m becoming.

And Then There Was If I’m Honest

This is probably the most vulnerable book I’ve written. There are essays. There are interludes. There are pieces of my story that required me to sit with myself and ask, Girl, are we really putting this in the book?

Apparently, the answer was yes. 😂

So congratulations.

This is your opportunity to get all up in my business.

But underneath the humor is something much deeper. I wrote If I’m Honest because I know I’m not the only person who has had to rebuild. I’m not the only woman who has loved deeply and then had to learn how to pour some of that love back into herself.

I’m not the only person who has had plans fall apart and wondered, Okay, God…now what?

And I’m definitely not the only person who has discovered that sometimes the life waiting on the other side of disappointment looks nothing like the life we originally prayed for.

Sometimes it looks different.

And sometimes, different turns out to be beautiful.

🎥 Watch Me Read From If I’m Honest

  

In this video, I’m sharing a little piece of If I’m Honest, talking about what this book means to me, and saying thank you to everyone who has supported me along the way.

And yes, I misspoke in the video. I’m an ’80s baby who was raised in the ’90s. Y’all knew what I meant. 😂 I wasn’t recording it again!

The Silence Became Sacred

There was a time when silence felt uncomfortable to me.

Now?

The silence became sacred.

It gave me room to hear God. It gave me room to hear myself. It gave me room to stop chasing answers and start paying attention to what my life was teaching me.

Eventually, I stopped asking how I could get my old life back.

I started asking:

What can I create with the life I have now?

Apparently, quite a bit.

A book. Art. Joy. Peace. New experiences. A softer relationship with myself.

And I’m just getting started.

Thank You

To everybody who has read Brown Girl From Boston over the years, purchased one of my books, shared one of my posts, sent me a message, encouraged my creativity, prayed for me, or simply quietly rooted for me: thank you.

Seriously.

I don’t take any of it for granted.

And above everything else, I give thanks to the Most High for the gift of writing. For giving me something to say. For allowing me to turn pain into purpose without pretending the pain never happened. For reminding me that an ending doesn’t mean God is finished writing the story.

So today, I’m celebrating.

Not just because I published another book.

I’m celebrating because I stayed the course.

I kept living. I kept healing. I kept creating. I kept praying.

And I kept becoming.

If I’m Honest is officially here.

Come get all up in my business. 😂🤎📖

And maybe somewhere inside my story, you’ll recognize a little bit of your own.

Peace, Love, and Light,

Drea

📖 Get Your Copy of If I’m Honest

If I’m Honest: Essays on Truth, Healing, Love, and Becoming is available now.

Brown Girl From Boston's 2014 Summer Reading List

“My alma mater was books, a good library…. I could spend the rest of my life reading, just satisfying my curiosity.” — Malcolm X

True life: I am a bibliophile (a person who collects or has a great love of books.) I started my reading journey at the tender age of 6. My mom read to me while I was in her womb and I believe that I was born with a book in my hand. According to my parents, I started reading at the age of 2 and I often frightened many adults with my reading ability. For example, my family and I went on a family trip to Florida to visit my Aunt one winter and I starting pronouncing the names on the holiday cards on my Aunt's coffee table. This gentleman asked my Father my age and who taught me to read at an early age? My Father giggled and joked with the guy that I was a baby genius lol. The guy agreed with my Dad.

My favorite pastime is reading and I always create summer reading list every summer to further expand my creativity and knowledge. My high school that I attended from 7-12th required every student to read three books every year. We were given a list and we had to pick three books to read and was tested on those books once return back to school in the Fall. Some of my classmates, must have thought I was the CliffNotes edition because I received phone calls in regard to giving them a brief synopsis of the book (lol). I use to tell them go read the book and you might enjoy it. 

Below I have listed 10 books on my summer reading list:

1. Mom, Me and Mom by Maya Angelou
2. Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
3. My Crown and Glory: Six Fundamental Principles to Heal Emotional Wounds and Build Healthy, Self-Esteem by Sandra Dubose
4. What's Really Holding You Back? by Valorie Burton
5. Authentic Happiness by Dr. Martin E.P. Seligman
6. Forgiveness by Iyanla Vanzant
7. To Be Young, Gifted and Black by Lorraine Hansberry
8. Basic Black: The Essential Guide for getting Ahead at Work (and in Life) by Cathie Black
9. Bitch is the New Black: A Memoir by Helena Andrews
10. Zami-A New Spelling of My Name by Audre Lorde

This summer I want you all to challenge yourself to do some leisure reading and expand your mind!

Thank you for reading Brown Girl From Boston blog! We appreciate all the supporters and fans of this blog!

If you like to add a book or two to this summer reading list, please list your book(s) in the comment section. Share this list or challenge yourself to create you own summer reading list. 

XOXO,

Drea