The Guide to Embracing Change and Developing Positive Habits: Blog Featured Author: Kevin Ogle

 

Change is an unavoidable aspect of life, and it can be overwhelming, particularly when attempting to establish new behaviors. Feeling intimidated or disheartened is natural when faced with a fresh or distinct challenge. However, change is vital for personal and professional growth. This article will examine methods for welcoming change and positioning yourself for triumph with constructive routines. By using these recommendations shared below by Brown Girl From Boston, you'll be able to cultivate the appropriate mentality, foster beneficial connections, and sustain your motivation on the journey to achievement.

Embrace the Power of Small Actions

Change doesn’t happen overnight, so take small steps to start. Break your goals into smaller, achievable tasks, and don’t expect perfection. Consistency is key, so commit to your daily routine and keep pushing yourself forward.

Form and Market a Business

Starting your own business can be an exciting and rewarding change in your life. However, taking the necessary steps to protect yourself and your business is important. One popular way to do this is by forming a limited liability company (LLC). An LLC provides personal liability protection for the business owners while allowing for more flexible management than a corporation.

Next, it’s time to start marketing. Spreading the word via social media is a great place to start, but supplement this with some time-tested approaches like business cards. If you aren’t sure where to start, some tools provide plenty of templates for business card designs that you can customize. From there, share business cards with potential customers and leave some at coffee shops and restaurants.

Why Having a Mentor is Crucial for Success

A mentor can offer guidance and support when you’re facing new challenges. Look for someone who has expertise in your field or has been through a similar experience to yours. A mentor can provide valuable insights and help you avoid common pitfalls, putting you on a faster track to success.

Head Back to School

Returning to school can be pivotal, opening doors to personal growth, new opportunities, and a renewed sense of purpose. Whether formal or informal, education often contributes to a more positive outlook on life by broadening horizons and instilling confidence. With the advancements in digital education, going back to school online has become an accessible and flexible option for many. For instance, pursuing an online business bachelor's degree provides a well-rounded understanding of principles, economics, finance, marketing, and operations, equipping individuals with comprehensive knowledge to excel in the modern business landscape.

Practicing Self-Talk Can Boost Your Confidence

Your mindset plays a crucial role in change and personal growth. Speak kindly and positively to yourself, and visualize success. Take time to reflect and focus on the good things that come with progress and goals achieved.

The Importance of Establishing Supportive Relationships

A strong support system can make all the difference when dealing with change. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, encourage you, and inspire you to grow. Avoid people who bring negativity, discouragement, or cause distractions.

Seek Healthier Friendships

Seeking healthier friendships is important in cultivating a supportive and positive social circle. Reconnecting can be a great way to rekindle those relationships if you've drifted apart from old friends and acquaintances over the years. One effective way to do this is by using a search engine to find fellow high school graduates from your hometown.

You can quickly access a list of potential contacts by simply typing in the necessary name, graduation date, and school. These search results often provide options to reach out and reconnect with long-ago friends, allowing you to revive old friendships that may have once played a significant role in your life. Re-establishing these connections can bring back fond memories and offer opportunities to build healthier, more fulfilling friendships.

Be Kind and Patient with Yourself

Change takes time and effort, so be gentle and patient with yourself. Understand that setbacks are normal, but don’t give up. Take time to rest, recharge, and celebrate small victories. Self-care habits like exercise, relaxation, or meditation can help you stay motivated and focused.

Celebrate Achievements

Tracking your progress can help you stay motivated and celebrate small achievements. Keep a journal or use an app to record your daily activities, goals achieved, progress, and setbacks. Celebrate your progress with a reward like a treat or a fun activity, and use the satisfaction to drive you onward.

It takes a lot of courage, discipline, and determination to embrace change and create positive habits. It’s not always easy, but being adaptable, persistent, and patient will help you navigate challenging times and stay on track. By following these tips, you’ll be better equipped to create the right environment for yourself and achieve your goals.

 

Please visit Kevin's amazing website at www.anxious.biz!

What About Your Friends?

2020 mindset: We all have secret haters. Every smiling face that calls you “Fam,” “Sis,” or “bruh” is not your friend. Some people are out here are praying for your demise and downfall. Be careful of these people. Limit your access to these people. Listen to your intuition and let them go when your inner GPS alerts you of a redirection.

8 Qualities of a Great Friend:
1. Acceptance
2. Supportive
3. Reciprocity
4. Respect
5. Empathy
6. Loyalty
7. Honesty
8. Trust

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www.browngirlfromboston.com for all blog post and coaching needs

#SelfCare: Unfriend, Unfollow, and Get Unstuck!

Now I am not for the braggadocious, "I am going to unfollow and unfriend folks on my page. If you are reading this, you are safe." <---------brown do="" don="" girl="" p="" please="" t="" this="" tribe="">

I can't stand when folks make this attention-seeking announcement as if people are going to write their wrongs, correct certain behaviors to not get that unfriend/unfollowed button push when it comes to their page. You don't need to make an announcement because at the end of the day: 1. No one cares, 2. You look foolish, and 3. We all need to unfriend/unfollow people healthily and maturely. *Just go ahead and unfriend folks, drink your water and keep it moving because it is not that serious.*

If you are unsure and stuck on who you should unfriend/unfollow, check out some tips below.

1. The Toxic/Abusive/Racist/Hatred/Any Suspicious Folks need to be unfriended immediately. They showed you their true colors often; you constantly want to engage in negative behavior such as arguing, losing your cool, or constantly wanting to educate an ignorant person and refuse to change their ways. Even close family members, colleagues, friends, associates, and etc., can and should be unfriended if such behaviors are exhibited.

2. The "I'm Living My Best Life/I Don't Catch Feelings, I Catch Flights, Folks"! Chile, just because you catch flights, you need to catch feelings because maybe you are numb and need to work on releasing and coping with some inner trauma. We all have feelings. These folks usually brag about every little detail of their lives and try to make their fellow "followers"/"friends" feel awful about their not so glitzy and glamorous life. If you ever feel small, less than, self-doubt, or downplay your life, please unfriend these folks and start reaffirming how amazing you are. We don't know how folks are attaining these "lifestyles," It is also social media, and you recreate and fabricate who you are and what you do. *Sorry Not Sorry* People lie every day, B!

3. The "Randoms" and Network Opportunist: These folks are hella random, mainly users and have no reciprocal intentions for your "networking" relationship. These folks usually have a mutual friend or met at a conference that you may speak at. They friend you but only hit you up when an opportunity is involved for them. They suck you dry, name drop your name to get opportunities without building a rapport with you, and only slide in the DM to benefit them. Go ahead and unfriend/unfollow them immediately because these kinds of folks leave you resentful and bitter because they are habitual line steppers and boundary-pushers.

4. The "Get Ghost because I didn't like what you said or did, former BFF/friend/ex-significant other": I have a major issue with immature cowards who go ghost when times get hard, a disagreement occurred, or you kept said individual accountable. This person is playing a dangerous holistic, wellness damaging game. They don't need any further access to you because they got ghosts on you, stopped talking to you in real life but constantly want to keep tabs on what you're doing. Nah, son, you don't need to see what I am doing because you are not worthy and mature enough to confront the unknown issue at hand. They got a ghost, and you constantly beat yourself up because you are trying to out what you said or did for them to go ghost. Please show them the door once all communication is exhausted and ceased. Ghosting is debilitating, damaging your self-esteem and psyche, especially when you tried to figure out and even reach out to the said individual who went ghost on you. Don't go ghost, have a conversation, and mutual release the relationship, if applicable. If you have been ghosted, you just need to release that person and move forward in your life. Protect yourself and flyness.

Self-Care for Brown Girls: bit.ly/SelfCareforBrownGirls
Heal Your Inner FLY Girl: https://browngirlcoaching.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php.

What About Your "Friends"?

FLY Friday: What about your friends? Do you know who your true friends are?

1. Friendship is a two-way street. In order to be a friend, you must show up and show out unconditionally in your life and also in their life. 

2. Dismiss friends who target you in every conversation or situation. If a friend aka the known hater is always talking down and nasty to you but cover it up as a joke. It is time to address them and dismiss them because life is too short to tolerate negativity and unkind behavior.

3. Friendship is being able to have the courage to have hard conversations when someone unknowingly offended you. Have the tough conversations, apologize, and forgive your friend. Don't get ghost, stop talking to them and drop off the face of the Earth because of your unforgiveness. No one should he left in the dark because you are upset at someone. Talk to that person versus sending subliminal shots, stop liking and commenting social media stuff, stop attending events or just off the face of the Earth. You are only hurting yourself by doing the childish behavior. 

Remember, there are 7 billion people on this planet. If one person doesn't want to rock with you, that's too bad for them. Keep it moving and attract like-minded, loving, and supportive people to rock out with.

Once Upon A Time I Was Temporarily Dislocated in Chicago: Confessions From A Former 20-Something-Year-Old Divorcee

2010 Lakeshore Drive, Lake Michigan, 20-something year old Drea

"Unhappy stressed, yelling don't mislead my ass

 I mean I make it so easy don't please my ass

 The shoe was on the other foot and you would leave my ass."

 Love Me Not, J. Cole

I was recently reminded, that I was once married for a short, brief period in 2010! Thanks to Facebook's "On The Day" for the reminder. I remember I used to hide the fact that I was once a 20-something-year-old divorced woman! I was only sick as my secrets and being a divorced 20-something-year old was a huge secret to keep to yourself. I had to repurpose this blog post to share my story for those who is going through a similar situationship or contemplating this similar situation. I am a firm believer to live and speak your truth in a kind and firm way. I guess I held this secret from the world because I did not want the judgment (and I am sure someone is judging, but that's cool, I see you). I did not want to feel the guilt, shame and relive the embarrassment feeling again. I was immature, hurt, and in denial about my divorce because in my eyes and the eyes of others, successful, but successful people make plenty of mistakes and share their mistakes and a hot mess.

Temporarily Dislocated in Chicago I've relocated to Chicago because I truly mistaken love for lust and like. I grew tired and weary of being in a long distance My ex-husband and I decided to become engaged after four months (Yes, four freaking months) *you don't know anyone in four months* of knowing one another and got married within six months (six months is when the mask finally comes off!) . As I look back at this, neither one of us was thinking about this major decision. My heart, low-esteem, and desperation at that time did get in the way. At first, I became excited to move to Chicago to finally be united with the "temporary like of my life," but slowly but surely the thrill was gone before the ink dried on the marriage certification. When I finally decided to make the drastic, impulsive, and one-sided decision to move to Chicago, my family, friends, and co-workers when questioned my decision. People, who intimately know me, know that I take my time and plan out things before making an irrational decision. In life, you have to take risks and this was one huge risk I took. I definitely took one for the team! Read More About My Journey in Chicago

As I have reread my earlier blog post about my divorce, I thought to myself how much of a survivor and resilient person I had to be during my time in Chicago. There were some dark days and some days filled with light and gratitude because we both no longer had to suffer in a lustful/unlikable marriage. I had to do my work and that work was difficult but I did it! I had to really heal my inner FLY Girl by reflecting on why I needed someone to confirm my greatness. I had to figure out why I was attracting certain people and their broken spirit within my life. How did my self-esteem and confidence become almost non-existence? Why did I accept emotional and mental abuse? Son, the work was real! I was like God, I just can't now. Every time, I said that I redeveloped a new fight, faith system, and restoration of myself. I had to do the work while I was existing in the valley. Yes, I had a failed marriage but that doesn't make me or another divorced person a failure. This too shall pass. I am thankful that I was able to experience this "failure" because it definitely matured me, grounded me, and taught me to become more transparent and live life to the fullest. You learn a lot from being divorced. Divorce people don't need your opinions, or the "I told you so" or any negative comments. Just love on them, listen to them and just be there. Drea's Four Tips on Overcoming a Divorce, Breakup, and Overall Hot Mess Situations: Forgiveness: I had to do a lot of work around forgiveness. I had to forgive myself and ex-husband. I am still forgiving myself and my failures. Some days, I didn't want to forgive, I didn't want to hurt, and I did want revenge. I let God handle all that because I will further Eff things up if I took matters in my hand. Forgiveness is ugly, it is not cute and I would suggest you to wear your fine trends when you are on the battlefield of forgiveness. Forgiveness takes practice. Yes, practice. Oh, did I mention practice? (In my A.I. voice) We are talking about practice. 
Grieve: Divorce is the death of a marriage. Divorce hurts so much that you wish that your ex-spouse died instead. You have to really take care of yourself and understand that you are grieving. You will experience all the stages of grieve that Kubler-Ross studied and researched intensively. I remember being so angry and depressed at work one point. I cried until I sobbed at my desk. My coworker had to put on my coat, like Bobby Byrd use to do James Brown after his performances) and get me out the building because it was ugly. I was grieving during that pivotal moment.

Release People with Love: People are going to judge you, try to throw things in your face, and bring up your past mistakes and failures in your face. What did I do? I had to release them with love. Oh those so-called friends that were "riding" with me were the same ones who judged me and sipped on major tea during my divorce and darkness. ( I didn't crumble!) Do you want to know who your true friends and family are? Go through a death, divorce, marriage, and become successful. You will quickly see who is down for you. 
You have to do your work. Son, I had to do some major restoration within. I was not always this FLY Girl. I had to do the work from previous relationships, childhood, and all other previous situations. I had to peel back so many various layers of my life. I had to get down to the core and really heal my inner FLY girl. That journey is not over. I have days in which I don't feel like getting out of bed. I have days in which I am on top of the world. I have days in which I am indifferent about my life but I don't quit on myself. I did my work and I am continuously doing the work.

I am thankful that I went through my divorce as a 20-something-year-old woman. I went through a tremendous amount of growing pangs, self-discovery, and evolve to this imperfect FLY Girl. I always knew that I was FLY but I had to grow through some thangs (yes, thangs) to see how resilient, strong, unique and awesome I am. I had to go through my divorce to grow into maturity, become a better human being and a better wife to my now husband. I use to ask God why did I have to go through such a horrific personal experience of being a 20-something-year-old divorce woman. I have received the answers and I am thankful for his insight and the people who were brought into my life throughout the struggle moments.

If you are a 20-something, 30-something, 40-something divorced person, you are not a failure. I don't care what society, your family, or "friends" thinks about divorced people, you are amazing. You are going to get through this difficult time because you are going to do your work. Make sure you are gentle and loving yourself a bit more because you are grieving the loss of a marriage and marital partner. Forgive yourself, do something every day that is going to bring a smile to yourself and restore your FLYness, and surround yourself with non-judgmental, healthy, and loving people. You got this! You don't have to heal your inner FLYness alone. There are plenty if resources such as support groups, therapists, reading material, life coaches like myself who can help you. Just remember to do you inner work to heal. It is worth it, you will grow from it, and you will survive it.