We live in a society in which we are bombarded by stuff. We are distracted by media, entertainment, social media, being apart of the in-crowd, being a people-pleaser and more. If you think about your day, you are influences by these things in which you are not fully in the present and allowing your light to shine. Many times, we are giving permission to others and to ourselves by give our light away.
Within the article, I am going to answer three questions: Why do we allow others and things to dim our light? Why do we as brown girls dim our own light? How can we recharge our light and shine bright despite darkness?
Throughout life, we have encountered someone trying to bring darkness into our world full of light. Darkness can be disguised as an abusive relationship, divorce, nonreciprocal friendship and so on and so forth. When we are in these situations, we often ask ourselves how did we allow this to happen? Being brown girls, at times, we don't take a step back and listen to our intuition nor assess the red flags. Many times, we are so happy that someone is noticing our radiance that we get caught up in the rapture, like the Anita Baker song. For instance, someone sought me our via social media because this individual "admired" my work with being a natural hair organizer. At first, I was flattered because I felt that I was getting my shine one rather than affirming my good works myself. Well, let me tell you, I was in for a ride because this individual tried to take my shining light and turn it into a blackout. Honestly, if it wasn't for my intuition and unbreakable self-esteem, I would have fell victim to the darkness. That is one recent example out of many that we all have and will encounter once we realize how valuable our light is.
Why We Dim Our Light:
1. Fragile self-esteem, we don't feel good about ourselves and we trying to camouflage it by hiding putting our mask on and hiding the scars and wounds that we inflicted upon ourselves and allow others to do the same.
2. Self-doubt which ties into self-esteem, we are unsure of our God given abilities, gifts and purpose. We are always questioning ourselves instead of praising ourselves for trying and being the best YOU can be. Once that doubt is placed inside your essence, you consistently feel you are not good enough but being you is good enough.
3. Fear of Failure this also interconnect with fragile self-esteem and self-doubt. You are constantly in fear of failure that you self-sabotage you inner and outer being. You rather do the bare minimum or make excuses rather than putting your best foot forward and letting your light shine.
4. Fear of Vulnerability many times we as brown girls are guarded and afraid to allow our guarded to be down because we don't know how to be free and open. As brown girls, we wear many faces and hats because we are constantly shifting within this society. Many times, we masking our authentic selves because we feel we must be guarded and untrustworthy of others. Brown girls we must start loving ourselves, embracing our imperfection, stop minimizing our gifts and stop trying to prove ourselves. Being ourselves is a beautiful thing once we realize and analyze who we are.
People and Things that Dim Our Light
1. Being a Yes, Woman! Whenever we put others' agendas and priorities over our own, we are giving our light away. "Let your no be quicker than saying yes." We need to start saying no as quick as we say yes. If we continue to be "on-call" for other needs instead of being on call for your needs, your light will continue to remain dim.
2. "Users", "Abusers" and "Opportunists"! Users, abusers, and opportunists have one thing in common; they want to take advantage of you by any mean necessary. People who possess these negative qualities are like K-9 dogs, they can sniff and see your light shine a mile away. They are looking to steal your shine and add on to their already dim light. If you are currently dealing with someone like this, run as fast as you can and protect your light because these individuals don't value themselves nor other people.
3. Dream-Killers and Nay-Sayers! Everyone isn't going to understand nor respect your dreams, ideas nor light. You are going to have the dream killers and nay-sayers. You know some of them already. Whenever do something positive or opportunities come your way, here comes the dream killers and nay-sayers trying to diminished your gifts and light.
4. Trying to Fit In! My favorite quote by Dr. Seuss is "Why fit in when you were born to STAND OUT! You see how I typed stand out in bold. We are all unique and possess various gifts and talents. Why would you want to fit in and you were created to stand out? Don't ever dumb yourself down or dim your light to fit in.
How Can We Recharge Our Light and Shine Bright Despite Darkness?
We can recharge our light by taking a step back from things and assessing our own life. Many times, we burn ourselves out and dim our own light because we don't spend time with ourselves. We all are busy and bombarded with this amazing thing called life especially my brown girls. We need to put ourselves first. We need to make ourselves a priorities. If you don't put yourself first and care for yourself, than you are unhealthy and unworthy to yourself and to others. I can virtually hear and see your side-eyes and sucking of the teeth. I am tired of hearing I don't have time to do (fill in the blank) because I am a mom, wife, student, seasoned, entrepreneur and so on to not care for yourself. I am not going to sugarcoat the truth, brown girls. I want all of us to be holistically healthy.
I am going to leave you all with this, "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works
Thanks for reading!
Stay Brainy, Beautiful and Brown! XOXO
Drea from Brown Girl From Boston
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