Wednesday, May 21, 2014

B$%ch, Is Not a Term of Endearment!

"Who you callin' a bitch? You gotta let em know, you ain't a bitch or ho" -U.N.I.T.Y, Queen Latifah

In 1993, Queen Latifah dropped the classic, U.N.I.T.Y, she was referring to street harassment from men and assertively addressing men on their disrespect towards women. This article isn't addressing the men but I am addressing my brown girls. Too many times, I hear grown, educated women especially my brown girls addressing another sistas as "bitches" as a term of endearment. Not only do I hear it throughout my daily travels but I also hear this on songs and television shows especially on reality TV. Embracing the term "bitch" reinforces its use and make it acceptable for others to use and call you is not OKAY!

Let's dissect the word bitch:

a female dog: The bitch won first place in the sporting dogs category.
a female of canines generally.
a malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, especially woman.
a lewd woman.
Disparaging and Offensive. any woman.
Slang. a person who is submissive or subservient to someone,usually in a humiliating way: Tom is so her bitch—he never questions what she decides.

When the term "bitch" comes to my mind, I think of negativity and misogynistic.  Personally, I despise the word for numerous of reasons in which I will explain below:

Reason 1: Indeed I am a female but I am not a dog. Bitch is also a word in which it is gender focused as we can see from the definition above.
Reason 2: Bitch is such a provocative term. I remember being in middle school and I actually got into a physical altercation because this young lady referred to be a "bitch". She said the word with such conviction and anger towards me and indeed I was provoke to put an end to the negativity.
Reason 3: Usually when women are strong, brilliant, assertive, outspoken, opinionated, leaders, and the movers and shakers she is referred to as a "bitch" because she is handling business within her community and household

From my understanding, some women are taking back the word bitch and using it as an empowering term of endearment. But why? I don't find it cute nor respectful when women and men use this ugly and detrimental term.  On the flip side, when certain women use the term bitch to refer to their "friends" or themselves it's okay within their circle but let a man or a woman outside their circle refer to them as "bitches" we have a double standard situation going on. These ladies are ready for war and ready to march for their women's rights and put a stop to misogynist ways.  But ladies, let's think about it, if a man or another woman see you freely refer to yourself or your friends as "bitches" what do you expect? Respect? Dignity? Not at all because people are going to treat you like you treat you.

Why do we need to misrepresent ourselves and downplay the awesomeness we are created to be? Remember, you ain't a bitch or a ho!

Ladies and gents, please feel free to voice your comments.

Thanks for reading!

Stay Brainy, Beautiful and Brown! XOXO
Drea from Brown Girl From Boston

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Anonymous said...

Hey Drea I hope this comment finds you. As I was gathering a text together for my wife wishing her a great day, the thought to remind my wife she’s the baddest b this side of the Mississippi River was interrupted. Although it’s coming off as a tear of endearment I had to ASK myself if my wife would be offended(crazy right). So I googled searched how to use b%#£+ as an endearment(laughing). Long story short I opened up your article and glad I did. Blessing to you and yours brown girl from Boston. Thank you for your publication. P.S. B%#+£ was taking out of the text. Ha!

Drea said...

Thank you for the comment, and I am elated to hear that your wife is the baddest fly girl. Many blessings and continued happiness to you and your wife. Sending you both peace, love, and happiness.