For Brown Girls: Sisterhood is Powerful

"Show me your friends and I will show you what kind of person you are." -Annie Mae Dailey-Gulley/Josie Mae Gulley-Jacobs

Annie Mae (my grandmother) and Josie Mae (my mother) was not lying in regard to the quote above. You can tell a lot about a person, their character, and lifestyle by evaluating their friends. The people you spend time with are usually your biggest influencers and supporters whether it is a triumph or tragedy. Some of your "so-called" sister-friends are your biggest "Debbie Downers", "Nagging Nancy" or "Hannah the Hater". If you are not cautious these characteristics will rub off on you.

I decided to blog about sisterhood because I am discovering a reoccurring theme not only in my circle of sisterhood but in various circle of sisterhoods. Many sister-friends are often being taken advantage of, outgrowing their sister-friends and holding onto sisterhoods that no longer serve them purpose. If you find yourself in any of the unfortunate circumstances, don't panic, realize that you are not alone, and start doing the work and start healing.

We are going to discuss the dysfunctional sisterhood and healthy and functional sisterhood:

1. Nonreciprocal Relationship/Creating a healthy friendship. Around this time last year, I found myself in an one sided association with someone who wasn't interested in being apart of my sisterhood. I listened and trusted my intuition and ran to the nearest exit. Unfortunately, you have people who are only out for self. They usually can sniff out someone who is giving and vulnerable. When establishing new sister-friends, listen to your intuition, associate with those who are calling you higher and maximize your potential, and create a healthy boundary with you and your new found sister-friend.
2. When To Let Go/Freely and Lovingly Set Your Former Sister-Friend Free. In an ideal world, we would love to have everyone in our life to mature, evolve, and grow every step of the way. In reality, life doesn't work that way and we have to respect that sister-friend's life journey. When you discover that you and a sister-friend aren't in sync or friendship is stuck, that's when you have to reevaluate, be transparent and have an open conversation about your sisterhood. However, if you find yourself outgrowing your friendship while your sister-friend is comfortable with being stuck, it is the time to freely and lovingly set your sister-friend free. You can love your sister-friend afar but at this point in your life, you are looking to live life to the fullest, discover your innermost passion and purpose in life. In life, you outgrow people, friendships and relationships and it is okay to love from afar. No love lost!
3. When your sister-friend only communicates with you via social media/group message/ignores you. When you go from communicating with your sister-friend weekly to virtually never communicating with your sister-friend that's when you need to let them go freely. Life is too short to chase after someone'e love, life to too short for the wishy washy attitude, friendship or attention when they clearly don't want nor value your sisterhood no longer. Liking a photo on Facebook, not responding back to missed calls or voicemails or receiving a mass text message when a relative of the sister-friend in question dies doesn't equate to a sisterhood, it basically says "Hey, you are no longer apart of my sisterhood and I passively moved forward without informing you." That's so hurtful because you valued, respected, and love your sister-friend but obviously she no longer feel that way about you. Sister-friends should be honest and open about the obvious dysfunction or lack of communication. If a fellow sister-friend offended you, instead of being passive-aggressive, lovingly and assertively discuss the issues because that sister-friend is probably in the dark about the offense or underlying conflict/issue.

I value, respect and love my circle of sisterhood. Sisterhood is powerful because we are all interconnected, have similar stories, tragedies and triumphs. When I evaluate those who are in my sacred circle of sisterhood, I am proud because my sister-friends are amazing, strong, educated, diverse and different. I am able to be transparent, vulnerable and authentic with them. My sister-friends deal with my business side, my cray cray side, silly side, and the Brown Girl From Boston side. I appreciate them and love them very dearly. I am also able to celebrate, cry, coach and call out my sister-friends when needed.

I also learn how to love my former sister-friends from afar and release them with love. It is never easy to release nor love a close/best sister-friend from afar. When a sister-friend is constantly negative, stuck in life, doesn't communicate and don't respect the circle of sisterhood, they no longer serve you purpose.

I am going to end this post with a powerful song lyric from a strong sisterhood, TLC from one of their early hits, "What About Your Friends"

What about your friends
Will they stand their ground
Will they let you down again
What about your friends are they gonna be low down
Will they ever be around or will they turn their backs on you

Question to our readers: Do your circle of sisterhood empowers you or drain your energy? Let's talk about it. 

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XOXO,
Drea
#iamthatgirl #FLYmovement #browngirlfromboston