How Women Can Advance Their Careers and Reach Their Dream Roles (Featured Blogger Kevin Ogle)

Success looks different for every woman — but one constant is the desire to grow, lead, and be recognized for the value you bring. Whether you’re early in your career or aiming for the C-suite, building your path with clarity, confidence, and strategy can change everything.

●     Define what success means to you — not what others expect.

●     Build a strong network and ask for mentorship early.

●     Learn to advocate for your worth with data, not emotion.

●     Keep learning new skills — tech, leadership, communication.

●     Don’t wait for permission to start your own thing.

Key Growth Strategies by Career Stage

 

Career Stage	Core Focus	Common Challenge	Strategic Move
Early Career	Building credibility	Self-doubt	Volunteer for visible projects
Mid-Level	Expanding influence	Plateauing	Learn to delegate + mentor others
Senior Leadership	Legacy + impact	Work-life balance	Protect your time like a resource
Transitioning to Entrepreneurship	Autonomy	Risk + overwhelm	Start lean, seek support from formation platforms

Ask, Don’t Wait — How to Navigate Growth Conversations

Too many women assume hard work automatically leads to recognition. It doesn’t. Prepare to negotiate your value using specific results (e.g., “I increased customer retention by 12%”) instead of vague contributions. Start tracking your wins weekly. Use simple tools like Notion, Google Sheets, or even your notes app. Those receipts matter when performance reviews roll around.

5 Steps to Move Toward Your Dream Role

1. Clarify your “north star.” Write down what you want your career to look like in 5 years — title, impact, income.
   
   
2. Get visible. Speak up in meetings, publish thought pieces on LinkedIn, or contribute to professional communities.
   
   
3. Cultivate sponsors, not just mentors. Mentors advise — sponsors open doors.
   
   
4. Build resilience. Rejection, slow progress, or bias — it’s all part of the process. Bounce forward.
   
   
5. Audit your environment. If your current company doesn’t value growth or inclusivity, prepare your exit plan — with intention.
   
   

The “Own It” Era — Starting Your Own Business

There comes a moment when some women realize: climbing someone else’s ladder just isn’t the goal. Entrepreneurship offers autonomy, flexibility, and creative fulfillment — but also risk.

One smart step? Simplify the setup. Platforms like ZenBusiness help you form an LLC, design a logo, build a website, and manage finances — all in one place. You don’t need a massive budget; you need momentum.

Pair that with reading The Lean Startup for strategy to brand your ideas visually.

The Power Moves List

●     Find mentors who look nothing like you — diversity of experience equals depth.

●     Negotiate early and often — the gender pay gap starts with the first job.

●     Say “no” to roles that don’t serve your longer vision.

●     Use an all-in-one business platform if you’re exploring independence.

●     Document your expertise: blog, podcast, or online workshop.

●     Build “social capital” before you need it. Attend conferences, engage on Eventbrite or Meetup.

●     Learn financial literacy — try Ellevest or Mint for personal growth.

FAQ — Navigating Work and Ambition

Q1. How do I ask for a raise without sounding aggressive?
Frame it with data. Use phrases like, “Based on market benchmarks and my recent results, I’d like to discuss aligning compensation.”

Q2. What if my company doesn’t support women in leadership?
Leave, strategically. Companies that resist diversity limit your growth ceiling. Research inclusive organizations on Glassdoor.

Q3. I’m balancing family and career — is that even possible?
Yes, but redefine balance as “rhythm.” Some weeks lean into work, others into life. Tools like Todoist can help manage both.

Q4. How do I handle imposter syndrome?
Name it, reframe it, and act anyway. Confidence grows from doing, not waiting.

Featured Product Highlight — Elevating Your Workspace

Let’s talk about productivity. If you often juggle multiple projects, consider upgrading your workflow with Trello. It’s a simple, visual board system that helps organize career goals, side hustles, or team projects. Bonus: it integrates with Slack, Google Drive, and calendar tools for seamless collaboration.

Glossary

●     Sponsor: A senior advocate who actively champions your career.

●     Imposter Syndrome: Feeling unqualified despite success.

●     Glass Ceiling: Unseen barriers preventing advancement for women.

●     Equity: Fair opportunity and representation — not identical treatment.

●     Soft Skills: Communication, empathy, and leadership — often undervalued but career-defining.

Every woman’s career journey is a mosaic — built from resilience, mentorship, courage, and sometimes, rebellion. The key is not just climbing the ladder but building your own staircase. So, wherever you are: take the next small, bold step. Your dream role isn’t a destination — it’s a direction. Keep walking.

 

 

So Today, I Cried Instead of Crashing Out

                                                    So, today I cried instead of crashing out.
                                                        Instead of Jesus wept, I wept

                                                       at the most inopportune moment.

I tried to hold it in.
You’re not supposed to cry on camera,
not in front of your supervisor.
But I didn’t care.

I needed to weep.
To be seen as human.
To let go of the perfectionist mask.

I wept for those who can’t.
For those who struggle to express
misplaced emotions and buried feelings.
I wept for past experiences
that left me broken and bleeding in silence.

I wept into my mother’s arms—
because the pain was too much
to hold on my own.

So, I wept.

Will I do it again?
I’m afraid so.
But weeping…There 
was a feeling of sweet sorrow.

In that moment of vulnerability,
I didn’t apologize.
I took a deep breath and said:
“I don’t belong here.”
My purpose and plan are
beyond this place.

Those words came from a place of
discernment,
self-awareness,
and discovery.

I’m thankful for the space I was in—
safe enough to break down
and still stand up again.

Yes, I wept.
With embarrassment.
And empowerment.

Because this isn’t my final resting place.
This is just a stop along the journey.
And I know—I know—
I’m rising to the top.

By Andrea C. Stallworth
 

✨ Author’s Note
I wrote this poem on a difficult day, one that reminded me of the power of my creativity when it flows freely. I hadn’t written poetry in a while, but the heaviness cracked something open. It reminded me that my best work doesn’t come from being micromanaged, criticized, or governed. It comes from my truth. From my soul. There’s a part of me I’ve suppressed for too long, and it’s time to let her rise, unapologetically.

Dear Sis, You Are Not Defective: You’re Evolving

Sis, let’s talk. Not the surface-level stuff. I’m talking about the real, raw, sometimes uncomfortable truth.

This week, I had to sit by myself. Not just the polished, got-it-together version but the soul-stretched, emotionally drained, grieving version. The one who finally said, “Enough is enough.” The one who walked away, not out of bitterness, but out of deep, spiritual clarity.

Because, truth be told, sometimes relationships shift, not because we failed, but because we grew. We outgrew emotional dumping grounds. We outgrew being unseen. We outgrew the fight to be loved correctly.

Let’s be clear: being twice divorced, breaking off engagements, or not having a child by a certain age does not make you defective. You are not broken. You are not hard to love. You are not “too much.”

You are evolving.

You are shedding what no longer fits your soul, and yes, that’s painful. It’s grief. It’s confusing. It’s lying on the couch, wondering how you ended up here again. But it’s also sacred. Because grief is love in disguise. Grieving the fantasy, the expectations, the promises that were made but not honored. And still, you rise.

This week, I made a decision. I am reclaiming my voice, my body, my joy. I’m choosing softness, not weakness. I’m choosing peace, not people-pleasing. I’m choosing to show up for me, not for someone who’s not ready to meet me where I stand.

It’s okay if you’re in survival mode. It’s okay if you don’t feel strong right now. Just don’t forget: there’s another chapter after this one. Rest if you must. Cry if you need to. But trust, sis, you are rebuilding, not retreating.

God’s timing is divine. When it’s your turn, nothing-no detour, delay, or doubt-can block it. And when peace feels foreign, lean into this truth:

“So God created [Andrea] in His own image.” (Genesis 1:27 personalized — feel free to replace with your own name.)

You were created with purpose. Your softness, your fire, your intuition, your grace it’s all by divine design.

So, here’s your reminder:

Take a nap.

Cut the cord.

Save your joy.

Reclaim your time.

Choose what aligns, not what drains.

And if no one told you today, sis, I see you. I love you. You are not alone.

Affirmation:

“I am not behind. I am becoming. And everything I’ve walked away from is making space for everything aligned to walk in.”

 

Dear Sis, Your Voice Matters

Dear Sis,

Your voice carries power. It’s the power to advocate for change, to challenge the status quo, and to inspire others to take action. But here’s the truth: showing up matters just as much as speaking out. It’s not only about standing up for yourself but also about lifting others up along the way.

We live in a time where division is amplified, arguments become the norm, and energy is often misplaced. It’s easy to organize and execute a debate or point fingers, but what about turning that energy into supporting one another? What about using that passion to plan and build instead of tear down? Sis, that diabolical work of separation has no place here.

This is the season to advocate, organize, plan, and execute—not for chaos, but for progress. Imagine the power of unity when we direct our focus toward solutions instead of contributing to the division. Think about the impact we can make when we channel our voices into movements that create lasting change for ourselves and our communities.

Let’s call it what it is: diabolical work when we let division stand in the way of collaboration. But Sis, we are better than that. We are built to be connectors, advocates, and changemakers. When we show up, we show out—not just for ourselves but for others who need to see that strength, that fire, that relentless hope for something better.

So, what will you do today to show up? How will you use your voice to inspire, heal, and uplift? Start small if you need to, but start. Together, we can turn things around.

Call to Action:

Dear Sis, let’s not just talk about change—let’s organize, plan, and execute it. The world needs us, and we need each other.

 

🚀 The Careerist Project is Back! 🚀

Are you ready to redefine what success looks like for you? We’re thrilled to kick off 2024 with our first workshop to help you create a healthy balance that brings purpose and confidence into your life.

Join Andrea and Shemika as they guide you through The Careerist Project, where you'll uncover strategies for identifying your core values and learning how they can transform your career and life.

Determine Your Worth | Discover Your Values | Embrace Your Confidence

Don’t miss this opportunity to invest in yourself and your future!

Date: 9/26/2024 Location: Remote/Zoom Register Here: https://us02web.zoom.us/.../tZctf-2tpjguH9Mzb7hvFh7cH...

Let's make 2024 the year you step into your full potential!

 

Establish Boundaries, Set Intentions

In this video, I share the importance of establishing and enforcing boundaries and intentions in your life. Learn how setting clear limits on what you accept and reject can help prevent others from playing with your emotions and time. Empower yourself to take control and build healthier relationships.

Reflections from My Sabbatical: Embracing Holistic Health and Personal Growth

 

Returning from the hustle and bustle of a demanding career can be a transformative experience. During my recent vacation and career sabbatical, I prioritized my holistic health, allowing myself the time and space to reflect deeply on my professional journey. Here are some key insights I've gained:

1. The Price of Silence

I stayed in environments where my voice was silenced for far too long. I allowed myself to be shortchanged by stagnant institutions and systems that needed to be more active in their ideas, innovation, and practices. This period of reflection made me realize the importance of speaking up and advocating for change, not just for myself but for the betterment of the organizations I am a part of.

2. The Illusion of Power

Job titles often come with clout, power, and control, but these attributes don't necessarily equate to positive and productive leadership, growth, prosperity, or progress. Authentic leadership inspires and uplifts others, fostering an environment where innovation and collaboration can thrive. It's about making a meaningful impact, not just holding a prestigious title.

3. The Insecurity Behind Bragging

I've noticed that individuals constantly reminding others of their successes, accomplishments, and degrees often need to be more secure, power-hungry, and challenging to work with. Their behavior typically stems from jealousy and an inability to appreciate others' accomplishments, likability, and kindness. Genuine confidence doesn't need to be broadcasted; it speaks for itself through actions and integrity.

4. The Hidden Harm in the Helping Professions

It's a sad truth that only some in the helping profession are there to help others. Many are there to cause further harm, driven by their own unresolved and unhealed trauma. This realization underscores the importance of self-awareness and continuous personal development in professions dedicated to helping others. Healing oneself is a crucial step in truly healing and supporting others.

Moving Forward: A Commitment to Growth and Well-being

As I continue my journey, I am committed to prioritizing my holistic health and embracing environments that value innovation, growth, and genuine leadership. This sabbatical has been a powerful reminder that actual progress comes from within and that fostering a healthy, supportive, forward-thinking professional environment is essential for personal and collective success.

I encourage everyone to take the time to reflect on their own journeys, to speak up for change, and to prioritize their well-being. Let's create spaces where every voice is heard, where leadership is synonymous with growth and inspiration, and where the true purpose of helping professions is honored and upheld.

Call to Action

Are you looking to create an exit plan to help heal and tap into your inner peace and happiness? Book a clarity call with me at https://browngirlcoaching.as.me/.

Let's Connect

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences. How have you navigated your professional journey? What insights have you gained from taking a step back and reflecting? Share your stories, and let's support each other in pursuing holistic health and professional growth.

The Guide to Embracing Change and Developing Positive Habits: Blog Featured Author: Kevin Ogle

 

Change is an unavoidable aspect of life, and it can be overwhelming, particularly when attempting to establish new behaviors. Feeling intimidated or disheartened is natural when faced with a fresh or distinct challenge. However, change is vital for personal and professional growth. This article will examine methods for welcoming change and positioning yourself for triumph with constructive routines. By using these recommendations shared below by Brown Girl From Boston, you'll be able to cultivate the appropriate mentality, foster beneficial connections, and sustain your motivation on the journey to achievement.

Embrace the Power of Small Actions

Change doesn’t happen overnight, so take small steps to start. Break your goals into smaller, achievable tasks, and don’t expect perfection. Consistency is key, so commit to your daily routine and keep pushing yourself forward.

Form and Market a Business

Starting your own business can be an exciting and rewarding change in your life. However, taking the necessary steps to protect yourself and your business is important. One popular way to do this is by forming a limited liability company (LLC). An LLC provides personal liability protection for the business owners while allowing for more flexible management than a corporation.

Next, it’s time to start marketing. Spreading the word via social media is a great place to start, but supplement this with some time-tested approaches like business cards. If you aren’t sure where to start, some tools provide plenty of templates for business card designs that you can customize. From there, share business cards with potential customers and leave some at coffee shops and restaurants.

Why Having a Mentor is Crucial for Success

A mentor can offer guidance and support when you’re facing new challenges. Look for someone who has expertise in your field or has been through a similar experience to yours. A mentor can provide valuable insights and help you avoid common pitfalls, putting you on a faster track to success.

Head Back to School

Returning to school can be pivotal, opening doors to personal growth, new opportunities, and a renewed sense of purpose. Whether formal or informal, education often contributes to a more positive outlook on life by broadening horizons and instilling confidence. With the advancements in digital education, going back to school online has become an accessible and flexible option for many. For instance, pursuing an online business bachelor's degree provides a well-rounded understanding of principles, economics, finance, marketing, and operations, equipping individuals with comprehensive knowledge to excel in the modern business landscape.

Practicing Self-Talk Can Boost Your Confidence

Your mindset plays a crucial role in change and personal growth. Speak kindly and positively to yourself, and visualize success. Take time to reflect and focus on the good things that come with progress and goals achieved.

The Importance of Establishing Supportive Relationships

A strong support system can make all the difference when dealing with change. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, encourage you, and inspire you to grow. Avoid people who bring negativity, discouragement, or cause distractions.

Seek Healthier Friendships

Seeking healthier friendships is important in cultivating a supportive and positive social circle. Reconnecting can be a great way to rekindle those relationships if you've drifted apart from old friends and acquaintances over the years. One effective way to do this is by using a search engine to find fellow high school graduates from your hometown.

You can quickly access a list of potential contacts by simply typing in the necessary name, graduation date, and school. These search results often provide options to reach out and reconnect with long-ago friends, allowing you to revive old friendships that may have once played a significant role in your life. Re-establishing these connections can bring back fond memories and offer opportunities to build healthier, more fulfilling friendships.

Be Kind and Patient with Yourself

Change takes time and effort, so be gentle and patient with yourself. Understand that setbacks are normal, but don’t give up. Take time to rest, recharge, and celebrate small victories. Self-care habits like exercise, relaxation, or meditation can help you stay motivated and focused.

Celebrate Achievements

Tracking your progress can help you stay motivated and celebrate small achievements. Keep a journal or use an app to record your daily activities, goals achieved, progress, and setbacks. Celebrate your progress with a reward like a treat or a fun activity, and use the satisfaction to drive you onward.

It takes a lot of courage, discipline, and determination to embrace change and create positive habits. It’s not always easy, but being adaptable, persistent, and patient will help you navigate challenging times and stay on track. By following these tips, you’ll be better equipped to create the right environment for yourself and achieve your goals.

 

Please visit Kevin's amazing website at www.anxious.biz!

Curating My Happiness and Peace: Bringing in 2024 with a Renewed Vibe

 When you the sun, you shine on all the Icaruses (uh)

Know my power, I know what my penmanship did (it's dope)

Drop so many jewels, I couldn't even put 'em on wrist (uh)

That's the sacrifice (yeah) when you this nice (ah)

They wanna dim your light (they tryin' to)

But never that (never that)

Never that (never, never, never) - Rapsody, Asteroid

Rapsody, my homegirl, my sis, and one of my favorite artists inspired me to curate and renew my happiness and peace. I had a dope 2023 with a few trials and tribulations with plenty of triumphs from dropping my book (Manifesting Your Greatness), launching The Fly Girl Shop, reaching my financial goals, physical goals, and mental health goals by attending therapy every month, and listening to healing, and embracing a new level of love through self-love and allowing someone else to love me. 

Despite all this dopeness, flyness, and often shyness, I find myself peeling back specific layers of complications, complexities, and vulnerabilities to the point I said, "Yo, people really don't care about you, but do you care about YOU?" Once I had that introspective thought, I had to shut it down. Shut down the inner chatter, the self-doubt, the negative self-talk, and often unanswered triggers. I remember burying my Aunt in late Feb/early March and having a complete meltdown after the funeral because enough was enough. I was exhausted because this was the third death on my paternal side of the family, grieving family members, my divorce finally being over after 2 years, and just finding myself no longer holding on to stoicism and holding everyone down. It took my significant other saying to me..."You should go back to therapy." I found my old therapist and got to work, and I am still working. I am thankful because I have evolved, cried, reached "aha" moments, discovered my inner strength, and made an exit plan in various areas of my life, and now I am curating my happiness and peace vibe for 2024. 

Turning 40 was also eye-opening because you find a liberation switch, and life begins at 40. I have evolved and am more assertive, wanting to live a gentler, softer, wiser, kinder, and loving life. I have had my ups and downs, but I hung in there and kept going. I had my ups and downs with my love life, but after a year and some changes later, I am still hanging in here. I find myself battling religious trauma and struggling with holiday celebrations. I have many emotions, but it helped me level up personally and professionally and move out of the way. 

I have found myself being fearless, vulnerable (which is a scary zone for me), and glowing up. I deserve all the great things I have received, am going to receive, and will experience. I am excited to curate my happiness, peace, and love. 2024 will be a vibe, and I can't wait to experience it. In the meantime, I am on a significant social media hiatus because that ish is annoying AF, and I often wonder if people listen, care, and apply the gems. I am at the point in my life in which I have to shrug my shoulders, mind my business, and focus on my happiness, peace, and love. I am focusing on living a healthy, whole, and healed life. Chile, my goal is to live until my 100s, surrounded by love and quality people such as my future husband, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, and leave a lasting legacy. 

For those of you who are Day 1 or today's tribe members, I am sending you much love, light, peace, happiness, and freedom. Curate your vibe, happiness, peace, love, and a dope 2024. 

If you are interested in reaching out to me, please email me as I am on a social media detox, but my email inbox is drea@browngirlfromboston.com

Equipping U’s Sister Talks | Episode 37 | Living Vs. Thriving - How Do You Close The Gap?

Free Coaching Opportunity with Drea

Hi Tribe!

We want to introduce a free coaching opportunity with you. We have decided to dedicate our time to coach individuals who have been affected by COVID-19 in a holistic way. If you have experienced unemployment, lack of self-esteem, trying to navigate grief and loss, need holistic support, and can't afford to personal coaching, here is your chance to be coached by Drea.

Each coaching session is private, free, and confidential. We will coach in areas in which you need support (mind, body, spirit, personal branding, side hustle, and etc.)

Each session will last 45 minutes to an hour.

Sessions will be held via phone or video conferencing.

Right now we only have 4 spaces for these free coaching sessions.

If you're interested in being one of the volunteer coaching clients, please complete the application form below!

https://forms.gle/ZwCcHzvofJZ97Q5c6

If you have any questions, please feel free to comment below or email Drea at drea@browngirlfromboston.com

Deadline: May 8th, 2020.

Please share with friends and family who are in need of support.

How to Stay Fearless and Focused During Life Transitions: Be Encouraged TV

Brown Girl From Boston was featured on Be Encouraged TV! Check out this dope interview. Be encouraged!

Ask, Believe and Achieve: Be Bold, Be Fearless and Believe!

It was the December 13, 2013 when I made the leap of faith to leave my abusive, dead end and damaging job as a Director of Social Services at an international nonprofit. I was broken, beatdown and betrayed by a job I used to love. I have experienced ageism, racism and any kind of ism that I was able to experience. I gained weight, lost sleep, had night tremors and became temporary cray cray due to working in an abusive, toxic and unhappy environment. I have suffered in silence and took it out on the ones I love.

One day, I was on a free teleclass that changed my life for the better. I was sitting on this conference call desperately ready to change my life by any means necessary. I have reached my rock bottom as a professional woman who have reached the pinnacle of her career. I was 30 years and I was a Director of a nonprofit agency. Mama, I have made it!!! I looked amazing on paper but I was a Hot A$% Mess in reality.

It was meant for me to be on this call because I officially but unofficially found out about life coaching through the amazing Valorie Burton. She shared of story on how she moved passed a divorce, depression and desperation. I was silently on the other end saying 'Yass" because I have been divorced, depressed and desperate for a miracle. I remember saying how I was over being a social worker because I have been there and done that and haven't felt as if I made a big enough impact on the world. I knew I couldn't save the world but I realize that I haven't even saved myself. Yikes!

As Valorie Burton kept describing what she does, I kept envisioning myself speaking, teaching, coaching and writing. I just didn't know where to start when it came to coaching, finding clients nor speaking. I knew that I can put together empowering events for women because I have hosted numerous of natural hair events and empowering events for women. I put a check mark next to that. I knew that writing was a piece of cake because writing and blogging came easily to me. Check mark next to that. But I was stuck on this entire coaching piece even though coaching is closely to clinical social work. I have left that area blank. After Valorie Burton discussed her new book "Happy Women Live Better Lives" she proceed to say that she is hosted a Coaching Training Intensive in Reston, VA in May 2014. I screamed to the mountaintops or rather in the spare room and my husband ran in and asked what happened. I proceeded to tell him that I found my passion and purpose through coaching.

My husband asked me what did I need and I told him financial support and emotional support because I knew I was going to endure something while seeking my purpose. Well fast forward a month later at my abusive workplace. One day I fell ill and was on medical leave for a week from my job. My supervisor called me and disregarded my illness and thought I was faking. How can you fake an illness when your primary care physician put you on medication and medical leave. I have never felt so disgusted, undignified and worthless. Well that all change once I went back to work on December 13, 2013. Well that morning, I took the leap of faith and put down a deposit to attend CTI in Reston, VA. My husband called me to let me know that he have received a raise and promotion at his job. He said the magical words that any significant other can say...QUIT YOUR JOB! Chile, I hurried up and typed my letter of resignation, packed up my office and left the premises. I never felt so liberated in my life. I had to literally block my supervisor's number because she stalked me via phone.

When I achieved my certification in life coaching, I wasn't afraid of putting myself out there because I was once broken, considered a failure and confused. I said in order for me to obtain clients and help other women to be unapologetic and peaceful while pursuing their passion and purpose. I knew how it felt not having peace and I just wanted to help women find their peace and happiness within.

In conclusion, if I would have stayed at my former employer, I wouldn't be making a major impact in my life and the lives of others. I wouldn't be able to use my voice to share my story and help other women pursue their life passion and purpose in a peaceful and unapologetic way.  This past weekend, I used my voice in a powerful way and told my story to the women who needed to hear my story. Many of these women like myself suffered in silence until Sunday. Sunday during my workshop, I gave them permission to use their voice. I gave them permission to find their passion and purpose in a powerful and peaceful way. Many of us are not living in peace. Many of us gave our power away to negativity, toxicity and bullying. Today, I want you to know that you are powerful, valuable, beautiful and great enough!

Ask, Believe and Achieve all your hopes and dreams. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Take back your voice, beliefs, power and hope!

Much Peace, Love and Light!
XOXO,
Andrea

Coaching Question: What is one thing you must quit in order for you to achieve greatness?
PS: The pictures above are from my first major speaking engagement in Pikesville, MD at the Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation, Unlimited You Conference

For Brown Girls: Sisterhood is Powerful

"Show me your friends and I will show you what kind of person you are." -Annie Mae Dailey-Gulley/Josie Mae Gulley-Jacobs

Annie Mae (my grandmother) and Josie Mae (my mother) was not lying in regard to the quote above. You can tell a lot about a person, their character, and lifestyle by evaluating their friends. The people you spend time with are usually your biggest influencers and supporters whether it is a triumph or tragedy. Some of your "so-called" sister-friends are your biggest "Debbie Downers", "Nagging Nancy" or "Hannah the Hater". If you are not cautious these characteristics will rub off on you.

I decided to blog about sisterhood because I am discovering a reoccurring theme not only in my circle of sisterhood but in various circle of sisterhoods. Many sister-friends are often being taken advantage of, outgrowing their sister-friends and holding onto sisterhoods that no longer serve them purpose. If you find yourself in any of the unfortunate circumstances, don't panic, realize that you are not alone, and start doing the work and start healing.

We are going to discuss the dysfunctional sisterhood and healthy and functional sisterhood:

1. Nonreciprocal Relationship/Creating a healthy friendship. Around this time last year, I found myself in an one sided association with someone who wasn't interested in being apart of my sisterhood. I listened and trusted my intuition and ran to the nearest exit. Unfortunately, you have people who are only out for self. They usually can sniff out someone who is giving and vulnerable. When establishing new sister-friends, listen to your intuition, associate with those who are calling you higher and maximize your potential, and create a healthy boundary with you and your new found sister-friend.
2. When To Let Go/Freely and Lovingly Set Your Former Sister-Friend Free. In an ideal world, we would love to have everyone in our life to mature, evolve, and grow every step of the way. In reality, life doesn't work that way and we have to respect that sister-friend's life journey. When you discover that you and a sister-friend aren't in sync or friendship is stuck, that's when you have to reevaluate, be transparent and have an open conversation about your sisterhood. However, if you find yourself outgrowing your friendship while your sister-friend is comfortable with being stuck, it is the time to freely and lovingly set your sister-friend free. You can love your sister-friend afar but at this point in your life, you are looking to live life to the fullest, discover your innermost passion and purpose in life. In life, you outgrow people, friendships and relationships and it is okay to love from afar. No love lost!
3. When your sister-friend only communicates with you via social media/group message/ignores you. When you go from communicating with your sister-friend weekly to virtually never communicating with your sister-friend that's when you need to let them go freely. Life is too short to chase after someone'e love, life to too short for the wishy washy attitude, friendship or attention when they clearly don't want nor value your sisterhood no longer. Liking a photo on Facebook, not responding back to missed calls or voicemails or receiving a mass text message when a relative of the sister-friend in question dies doesn't equate to a sisterhood, it basically says "Hey, you are no longer apart of my sisterhood and I passively moved forward without informing you." That's so hurtful because you valued, respected, and love your sister-friend but obviously she no longer feel that way about you. Sister-friends should be honest and open about the obvious dysfunction or lack of communication. If a fellow sister-friend offended you, instead of being passive-aggressive, lovingly and assertively discuss the issues because that sister-friend is probably in the dark about the offense or underlying conflict/issue.

I value, respect and love my circle of sisterhood. Sisterhood is powerful because we are all interconnected, have similar stories, tragedies and triumphs. When I evaluate those who are in my sacred circle of sisterhood, I am proud because my sister-friends are amazing, strong, educated, diverse and different. I am able to be transparent, vulnerable and authentic with them. My sister-friends deal with my business side, my cray cray side, silly side, and the Brown Girl From Boston side. I appreciate them and love them very dearly. I am also able to celebrate, cry, coach and call out my sister-friends when needed.

I also learn how to love my former sister-friends from afar and release them with love. It is never easy to release nor love a close/best sister-friend from afar. When a sister-friend is constantly negative, stuck in life, doesn't communicate and don't respect the circle of sisterhood, they no longer serve you purpose.

I am going to end this post with a powerful song lyric from a strong sisterhood, TLC from one of their early hits, "What About Your Friends"

What about your friends
Will they stand their ground
Will they let you down again
What about your friends are they gonna be low down
Will they ever be around or will they turn their backs on you

Question to our readers: Do your circle of sisterhood empowers you or drain your energy? Let's talk about it. 

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XOXO,
Drea
#iamthatgirl #FLYmovement #browngirlfromboston