On December 4, 2014, I attended The Massachusetts Conference for Women in my hometown of Boston, MA. This was my second year in attendance and the excitement was definitely in the air. This year, I served as a volunteer for over 10,000 women! The Massachusetts Conference for Women is the largest conference for women within the United States and it was sold out within a matter of days when the registration was open. The estrogen and feminine energy was off the charts. Every woman, I encounter or provide instructors to were kind, energetic and ready to invest in their person and professional development.
I've met so many successful, dope and unapologetic women who was in attendance by any means necessary (sick leave, extra time, volunteer, sponsorship and etc.) Last year while I was in attendance, I was in a fragile, lost and broken state. I was hyper-emotional, broken and overcoming workplace abuse from my former supervisor. I was blessed with having my ticket sponsored by CWE Providence and Cisco to attend the Conference. This year I was able to bless myself and someone else by volunteering my time, patience and beautiful energy. During my time while volunteering, I've met women in which we possessed a lot of commonality such as serving others, being successful in our own right, finding passion by quitting an unfulfilling job and tapping into our happiness and greatness.
You never know who is going through a similar situation until you say hello or work with them on completing an assignment. I've met a beautiful soul who is on the journey of finding her passion through becoming a coach to people who are looking to embrace and hug their fear and break free of boundaries. When I heard this, I had to learn more about herself because I found serenity through her holistic beauty and gentleness. She informed me that she recently quit her job to blog and become a coach, at this point, I hugged her and told her that I am proud of her because I was in her shoes last year. You just never know who have a similar journey like yourself and it is best to speak to people and listen to their journey. I have learned a lot from her and we exchange contact information to keep up one another.
After my volunteer shift was completed, I was able to eat lunch with fellow volunteers, share stories and embrace as sisters! During lunch, we were blessed to hear from the beautiful and incomparable Lupita Nyong'o who informed everyone that our dreams belong to us and that we will encounter fear along the way but you must recognize it and articulate your fears. Lupita stated that "Our dreams derived from our imagination. We own them. We cannot let them defeat us. This was such a powerful message because many times, we encounter people within our lives who are dream and passion killers. Many people kill dreams and passion because they were too afraid of pursuing their own dreams and passions and usually hurt them to see someone else pursue something they were unable to do. To people who many be dream and passions killers it is not too late for you.
After hearing Lupita's keynote, we got to hear the courageous and driven Hillary Rodham Clinton! She came out swinging by openly and fearlessly discussing the unjust and unequal judicial system against African Americans within the United States. Back to back no indictment of the slaying of Mike Brown and Eric Garner is the hot, emotional and upsetting topic of discussion. To hear Hillary discuss this topic as a Caucasian woman was revering because at the end of the day we are all interconnected and it effects all of us indirectly or directly if you want to believe it or not. Hillary also went on to discuss the inequality of pay for women within the workforce and the guilt women feel when they decide to have children and is unable to fully be present in that child's life due to work obligations especially single mothers. Hillary also discuss the unfairness and lack of funding of women entrepreneurship. Women are slighted when it come to starting a business because we go into business with lack of resources, funding and support from SBA and other federal agencies. As an entrepreneur it is difficult to take your business to the next level due to lack of funding and support from your counterpart and community. To hear Hillary's keynote speech was refreshing and exhilarating for me to hear because I was questioning my ability and my funding resources but I realize that I cannot quit my divine assignment because this is what I was called to do.
Now here is the nitty gritty of the ten things I've learned at The Massachusetts Conference of Women. Are you ready? Let's get it!
- No one ever ask men about work-life balance! Women are always in the spotlight when it come to balancing work and their personal life. We often feel guilty and feel that we cannot have it all because we haven't figured out how to balance out work-life. I don't believe this is a concrete answer because I feel that our work-life balance look different for all of us. I rather find the rhythm and dance along with the rhythm. If I have to slow whine to a soca, reggae , or calypso tune for the day than slow whine it is. Dance to you own rhythm and tune for the day.
- I'm an unapologetic married woman who is childless! I have been married for over three and a half years and people ask my husband and me about having children. I had to firmly and lovingly put people within their place about such a private matter. No one should dictate your womb but you. I am not less of a woman because I don't have a child. Children and pregnancies is a private and intimate matter that should be discuss between two mature people. So, please mind your business and stop asking about my and other women's womb!
- As women we don't embrace and celebrate our greatness enough! I beat myself over the negativity and past mistakes. I don't embrace nor celebrate my greatness enough. I also noticed that many women don't celebrate their wins and zone in on our inadequacies. No ma'am, I made a pact with myself to embrace and celebrate my greatness from now until forever! No time for beating myself because we already living in a cold, cold world in which we are rejected and beat up daily.
- You can be kind and assertive! One of my assignments at the conference was controlling a room filled with over 500 women. Now, things can become chaotic quickly with that many estrogen in one space. I had to use my assertiveness training by giving specific instructions to women before and after the breakout sessions. You can get a lot of things done by being assertive, kind and open. If you are rude, argumentative and aggressive and wonder why you are being disrespected all the time? It is time to change your attitude and approach. Remember attitudes can make or break a situation.
- Network without boundaries! Many people whether you are an introvert, extrovert or ambivert must develop their own networking style. In order to move forward in life, receive opportunities and blessings, you must take the chance to network. Networking isn't just giving your business cards to anyone, networking is about building lasting working relationships. I have networked with various women from all walks of life and learned many things from. Networking is about listening, being present and finding commonality.
- Happiness is an active practice! I was able to attend an afternoon breakout session hosted by Kathy Kinney (Mimi on The Drew Carey Show) and Cindy Ratzlaff (marketing guru of the South Beach Diet). These two have been best friends for over 30 years and helped one another through the ups and downs of life. (That is true friendship). This workshop was funny and needed because I am reclaiming my happiness through the thick and thin of life. These two entertaining and energetic women discuss how happiness is a free gift we can give ourselves. As women we usually say yes to others and no to ourselves hence why so many women are burnt out and bitter towards people. We need to reclaim our happiness, ladies!
- We need to surround ourselves with agenda free family members and friends! When I heard this amazing advice, I wanted to jump up and down and say AMEN! Recently, I had to release people including family members and friends with agendas free. I was tired of having my blood boiling whenever I see their name on my phone, or see a message from them in my inbox. I had to release these people with love because I was hurting myself by becoming upset and saying yes to them and not receiving the same treatment. I had to protect myself from bitterness and anger. The people who are agenda free in my life appreciate true, honest, productive, businesswoman, funny, witty and gentle Drea. I know I can call them and they are willing to deal with my cray cray self. Find an agenda free people who will embrace and celebrate the true essence of you without any hidden agenda.
- Volunteering humbles you! I love volunteering whenever I have free time away from my personal and professional life. I love serving people because it recharges my inner essence. When you volunteer you pay it forward to others. While volunteering for the Massachusetts Conference for Women, I've met some amazing women, put in major work with placing name cards on thousands of tables in the ballroom, and providing safety and instructions for over 500 women during the morning breakout session. Mama was tired of seeing the beautification of the ballroom, the smiles on the attendees faces and the flow of the conference was worth it.
- My mom is such a progressive woman/mother! During the conference, I kept thinking about my mother and how she would love to attend a wondering conference. My mom is my shero because she always supported my dreams, passions and goals. She never once killed my dreams nor passions but only fueled them with her love and support. My mother always tell me how amazing I am and how proud she is of me and that's why I refuse to quit on pursuing my passion. Despite my mom being from the "old school" she understands and embrace the importance of women having and holding their own. That's why my mom is my shero!
- It's okay to face and acknowledge your fears! At the ripe age of 31, I am learning how to acknowledge and face my fears. I am a recovering overachiever and perfectionist and God knows that I despise fear and my weaknesses. When Lupita stated that we should face and acknowledge our fears thats when the floodgate open for me. I said to myself I deal and slay fear everyday. I refuse to allow fear to paralyze me from achieving my greatness. That's why I write my goals and dreams down to conquer fear and keep me in check of my life journey.
Coaching Question: How do you invest in your personal and professional development? Do you attend conferences, workshops or webniars? We want to hear from you.
Love Your Sister-Friend,
Drea
PS. My writer's block have ended! I burnt myself out by writing two ebooks and writing for other blogs, websites and magazines. But, I'm focus (wo)man!!! LOL!
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