As of January 13, 2015, I've officially turn 32 years better. I prefer the term better because with age, I truly believe that you are getting better instead of old because old is a state of mind. At 32 or hell in your 30s you are still in your prime. You are adjusting to the skin that you are in, you truly realize who your authentic friends are, you are settling into your career, business, relationships and being the true essence of you. I like to think that 32 is a gateway to establishing yourself before thinking about a family. Being the youngest of three siblings, my parents respectively, had me at 33 (my mom) and 35 (my dad) which is relatively young in today's society in which the Millennial generation are holding off marriage and starting a family to start businesses, travel the world and connecting to their beautiful essence.
On my birthday, my husband and I went on a romantic and quiet dinner at one of my favorite restaurants until I got one of the rudest and crudest phone call that any woman can receive on her amazing day. I had someone very close to me (name will not be released) offended me on my 32nd birthday. This individual bluntly and tactlessly stated that I am getting too old to have children! What the what? If 32 is too old for children than what age exactly should I have started to have children then? Why would you say something so reckless and inappropriate to anyone!
Why can't people let women who are childless live? Let my unborn child stay where he or she is at, the sparkle in my eye! A woman's womb is her business alone and you don't know nor need to know why that woman is holding off on having children. Have you ever thought about if she/her significant other are ready to have children? What if they don't want the stressors of birthing and raising children in this crazy world? Lastly, what if the couple can't have children due to infertility issues? Before you go and insert yourself into someone else's business about their womb, make sure you check yourself before you wreck yourself and mind your business.
I am, too, a woman whether I have a child or not. Giving birth doesn't automatically enter anyone into the rites of passage of womanhood or femininity. I am a woman and a phenomenal woman at that, whether I decide to have a child or not. Many people believe that you haven't reached another level of womanhood unless you birth a child. You don't have to birth a child to be a mother because as women we are mothers to our sister-friends, children, nieces, nephews, cousins, younger siblings, pet and even a mentee if you are mentoring. We constantly give birth to the nation literally and figuratively and that is such an amazing thing.
A woman's reproductive decision is not up for discussion because it is such a private matter that is shared between the women and her significant other. It is not your mama, his mama, anyone's mama decision when it comes to birthing a baby. Being married or in a committed relationship has its challenges and stressful moments because two very different, off the wall people are trying to be one and hold onto the individuality while learning how to coexist in harmony so the couple will not end up on "The First 48", "Snapped", Who the Beep Did I Married", "Wives with Knives", "Deadly Women" or any crime tv, ID Network or crime shows.
Also, if you have a child, shout out to you, but shouldn't coerce others to join a Pregnancy Pact because you feel lonely being a mother. You made the choice of being a mother so allow your friend or family member to make their own decisions about motherhood. Everyone's goals are different. For example, my 24-year-old niece told my mom and me that one of her BFFs wants my niece to have a baby so the babies can grow up together. That doesn't make any sense, but that's the thinking of some people in today's society. Thankfully, my niece is equipped as an independent thinker because she declined her friend's wishes. (Thank the Lawd) I commend her because she knows and understands that she isn't ready, plus my niece has champagne taste on a wine cooler budget, which means she loves to shop until she drops, hang out, and enjoy her life. She has dreams and goals that she wants to fulfill before she commits herself to a lifelong commitment and I don't blame her. There is nothing wrong with being an ambitious young lady or gentleman who is fully committed to themselves and their life.
In conclusion, if you are single, engaged or married and childless in your 20s and 30s much love to you and live life unapologetically, fully, lovingly and lively! You are still in your prime and you have other things to accomplish before shutting it down to focus on having a family. I love my husband, coaching, sleeping in late, going to brunch, girls’ night, rocking my onsie all weekend, traveling, and just being Drea. I am sorry, not sorry for not getting pregnant when YOU want me to. If it's in Jehovah's plan to decide to bless my husband and me with a bundle of joy that would be awesome, but in the meantime, I am an unapologetic married woman who is childless and loving it.
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