The Academia Report with Prof. Drea: Breaking Barriers as a First-Generation College Student

🎓 Watch the latest video! If you're the first in your family to attend college, this message is for you. In the newest episode of The Academia Report with Prof. Drea, I share practical advice, encouragement, and strategies to help first-generation students confidently navigate college and build a successful future. Your journey matters and you don't have to figure it out alone.

Free Me From the “Girl’s Girl” Label

I want to say this carefully, because nuance matters.

I’m not anti-women.
I’m not anti-sisterhood.
I’m not anti-community.

However, I am deeply uninterested in performative labels that don’t align with my actual behavior.

Somewhere along the way, “girl’s girl” became a badge people wear instead of a practice they live. And in my experience, many of the loudest claims of sisterhood have come from spaces that felt unsafe, competitive, passive-aggressive, or quietly cruel.

I’ve learned that not every woman who smiles at you is for you.
Not every “sis” is safe.
And not every space labeled empowering actually empowers.

And that truth doesn’t make me bitter.
It makes me discerning.

I no longer need to be called a girl’s girl.
I need integrity.
I need emotional maturity.
I need accountability.
I need women who can celebrate without comparison, support without competition, and communicate without manipulation.

I’ve been in rooms where the language was “support,” but the energy was envy.
Where the connection felt conditional.
Where success made people uncomfortable.
Where vulnerability was collected, it was not protected.

And I’ve also been blessed by women who showed up quietly, consistently, and without performance. Women who didn’t need to announce their loyalty. Women who didn’t need a label to be decent.

That’s the difference.

Real sisterhood doesn’t need branding.
It needs character.

I also noticed something else this year, and I paid attention.

When I got engaged, the energy shifted with certain women. Subtle at first. Then obvious. Women who once checked in consistently when I was single and healing suddenly went quiet. The “hey sis” texts slowed down. The likes disappeared. The shares stopped. The calls became nonexistent.

So I did what I always do: I observed.

I went ghost from social media for a few months, not to test anyone, but to protect my peace and heal from my breakup. And in that silence, patterns revealed themselves. Support that once felt abundant evaporated the moment my life expanded. And that told me everything I needed to know.

I realized some people weren’t connected to me; they were connected to a version of me that felt non-threatening. A version they could relate to, advise, or feel superior to. When that version evolved, so did their discomfort.

I didn’t confront.
I didn’t explain.
I didn’t announce anything.

I simply peeped the energy and did a full sweep.

No warnings. No speeches. Just boundaries.

Because I’m not in competition with anyone. I’m not auditioning for space in anyone’s life. And I refuse to stay connected to people who only celebrate me when I’m struggling, but grow distant when I’m chosen, loved, or aligned.

What stood out most was the irony.

Many of the same women who claimed “girl’s girl” and “women empowerment” energy were the ones moving strangely online and in person once they realized I wasn’t engaging in the nonsense, the comparison, or the unspoken tension.

That’s when it clicked for me.

Labels mean nothing without character.
And empowerment that collapses under another woman’s joy isn’t empowerment at all.

At this stage of my life, I’m choosing relationships rooted in alignment, not optics. I’m choosing peace over proximity. Discernment over belonging. Depth over labels.

If that means I don’t fit neatly into someone else’s definition of a “girl’s girl,” I’m okay with that.

I don’t need a title.
I need truth.
I need safety.
I need a grown-woman connection.

And I trust myself enough now to choose that quietly, cleanly, and without apology.

So Today, I Cried Instead of Crashing Out

                                                    So, today I cried instead of crashing out.
                                                        Instead of Jesus wept, I wept

                                                       at the most inopportune moment.

I tried to hold it in.
You’re not supposed to cry on camera,
not in front of your supervisor.
But I didn’t care.

I needed to weep.
To be seen as human.
To let go of the perfectionist mask.

I wept for those who can’t.
For those who struggle to express
misplaced emotions and buried feelings.
I wept for past experiences
that left me broken and bleeding in silence.

I wept into my mother’s arms—
because the pain was too much
to hold on my own.

So, I wept.

Will I do it again?
I’m afraid so.
But weeping…There 
was a feeling of sweet sorrow.

In that moment of vulnerability,
I didn’t apologize.
I took a deep breath and said:
“I don’t belong here.”
My purpose and plan are
beyond this place.

Those words came from a place of
discernment,
self-awareness,
and discovery.

I’m thankful for the space I was in—
safe enough to break down
and still stand up again.

Yes, I wept.
With embarrassment.
And empowerment.

Because this isn’t my final resting place.
This is just a stop along the journey.
And I know—I know—
I’m rising to the top.

By Andrea C. Stallworth
 

✨ Author’s Note
I wrote this poem on a difficult day, one that reminded me of the power of my creativity when it flows freely. I hadn’t written poetry in a while, but the heaviness cracked something open. It reminded me that my best work doesn’t come from being micromanaged, criticized, or governed. It comes from my truth. From my soul. There’s a part of me I’ve suppressed for too long, and it’s time to let her rise, unapologetically.

Mental Wellness with Prof. Drea

In this powerful YouTube video titled "Mental Wellness," Andrea C. Stallworth delves into the critical topic of mental health in the Black community, with a special focus on Black women's mental health. She shares insights on how to nurture holistic well-being by safeguarding the mind, body, and spirit. Andrea emphasizes the importance of self-care and offers practical tips on maintaining balance amidst the unique challenges faced by Black women. Whether you're seeking to enhance your mental wellness or looking for ways to support loved ones, this discussion provides valuable guidance on living a healthier, more fulfilled life.

Conversations with Friends S.3 EP.7 "The Public Portrayal of the Black w...

Being A Strong Black Woman Is Not My Calling

I woke up and decided being a Strong Black Woman was not my calling. Being a Strong Black Woman is not my ministry. I cannot and will no longer kill myself for the sake of keeping my career, keeping the peace, or settling for nonsense. I would rather avoid situations and environments where I must stay strong. 

I woke up and received a download from the Most High to write a quick blog post about being A Strong Black Woman and how I have suffered in silence while taking on unnecessary stress, nonsense, and toxic treatment from myself and others. I am unashamed to state that I brought into the narrative of being a Strong Black Woman and how to be unbothered and stoicism about things that do bother me, hinder me, and keep me stuck in this unhealed, traumatic, and perpetuated lie we have inherited from our ancestors, our Mothers, and other Black Women and often time society. Before getting into my story about being strong, I have to say this: being a Strong Black Woman is detrimental to our mental health, physical health, and spiritual health. 

It affects our mental health: It affects Black Women's mental health because we suffer in silence and internalize toxic messaging, wear a mask, can't be sensitive, and constantly suppress who we are. We have to put our needs on the back burner and become a martyr to be strong and stoic. 

It affects Black Women's physical health because when we internalize the messaging of being strong and not letting your hair down, we are stoicism and unbothered while we are suffering from high blood pressure, rising levels of cortisol, emotional eating, insomnia, underlying health issues such as an autoimmune disorder, fibroids, and more. Many Black Women are taught to be caregivers, prove their worth, and neglect themselves for the sake of pushing through and being strong because you cannot allow others to see you sweat while your mental and physical health is declining. 

It affects our spiritual health; faith and prayer are sometimes all we have. Still, even that is affected because you question the Most High on your internalized struggle: why are you dealing with difficult situations, people, and toxic environments. You become hopeless and helpless because you feel the highest abandon you, and your faith wavers. 

I have decided to break up with being strong because I am exhausted. I am tired of fronting and adopting the ideology of others because that doesn't work for me. One of my managers told me I needed to be strong and toughen up because the "students" would take advantage of me. I needed to rule with an iron fist. No, ma'am, that's not me. Plus, you get more with honey than you do with it. I will not subscribe to being a Strong Black Woman to appease other aggressive, harmful, and toxic Black Women. I refuse to prove my toughness because I come from a long line of Strong Black Women, but on the low, they were resilient; no doubt, they also died at young ages due to stoicism, aggressive stress, toxic environments, and caring for the needs of others while neglecting themselves. I am trading in strong for being soft, sensitive, and sensible. Sometimes, due to the environments and people I was surrounded by, I had to adapt to the Timberland Boot energy, aka being strong, independent, and fiery, but that was exhausting. When I am in survival mode or want to be heard and seen, I revert back to that energy. Still, it doesn't serve me and takes a significant hit on my mental health, physical health, and spiritual health because I was masking my true self instead of walking and living my truth. I have been told that you will have to deal with something and stop crying because people will take advantage of your "weakness" instead of, wow, you are empathetic. Let's cultivate that skill, which is a strength. 

Journal Prompt: Flyness, what are you done with? What are you going to replace that with?
 

Black Love Vol. 2

Black Love Vol.1

Vetting is defined as investigating (someone) thoroughly, especially in order to ensure that they are suitable for a job requiring secrecy, loyalty, or trustworthiness.

Courtship is defined as a period during which a couple develops a romantic relationship, especially with a view to marriage.

What says you? Do you know if you vet someone before going out on a date? What do you think about courtship?

Check out our unapologetic and authentic conversation about vetting and courtship on Let's talk 2 YouTube channel. Click the link below and tell us your thoughts.

The Sisterhood Of Accountability

 

Self-Care for Brown Girl E-Book and Audio Course

...

FRAGILE VESSEL.... BLACK WOMEN

Much love and light to my tribe for this amazing panel. It’s an emotional panel discussing the plight of Black Women from the auction block to our city blocks. Grab some tissues and start doing the healing work.

Let's Talk: Sister Sister

Check out the Careerist Project discussing our joint project and individual project! 

Careerist Project: www.careeristproject.com

Surviving Sisterhood TeleClass

By a show of hand or slow head nod, how many of you have been hurt by someone you called “Sis”? If you have answered yes, let's chat! You don’t want to miss out on this honest but essential conversation! Register for this event! Bring a friend or two!

It’s free!

Register Here———-> https://www.eventbrite.com/e/surviving-sisterhood-tickets-108625363386?fbclid=IwAR2HWXpKzO8-MVz9fKpQf1KvoDR1c-uPMarfVSCiEKkbxjbI3w6KBhTZOFc

Apply to The Careerist Project: A Safe Space For Black Woman

The Careerist Project Social Impact Coaching

We are committing our time, skills, purpose, and talent of individuals who have been deeply affected by the COVID-19. We are committed to an individual’s personal, professional, and holistic growth and development by committing 6 weeks of FREE virtual coaching to those who are serious-minded, talented, and part of this affected group.

We are identifying 6 women who are in need of personal, professional, and holistic coaching. If you are a woman of color, unemployed, underemployed, or struggling financially; we encourage you to apply to our 6-weeks FREE virtual coaching program.

This coaching program is free, y'all. F-R-E-E. Head over to www.careeristproject.com for details!

Please share our new coaching program with those who have been affected by COVID19. All you have to do is be committed to a 6-week coaching program and other criteria along with uploading your resume and answer a few questions.

Please apply at https://careeristproject.com/social-impact-coaching

Got questions? Email us at hello@careeristproject.com

Get Well, FLYness: Protecting Yourself in the Workplace

1 day ago

hashtag#GetWell: I’m bothered! Many people are literally dying on their jobs due to unmanageable stress, toxic work environment, bullying, and abuse! This must cease! Please get well and take care of yourself on and off the job! How do you manage your stress at work? Do you need to find some healthy coping mechanisms to use during stressful situations? Sound off in the comment section!

Do You Need To Get Your Life and Career Right? Join The Careerist Project

Brown Girl From Boston and Moore Impactful Career Consulting are in the collaboration of helping you get your mind and career right!  You are reading correctly. We have decided to bring our life, leadership, and career coaching skills to a screen near you. We want to coach, empower, and advocate for the uninspired, undecided, and beyond stressed but dope individuals. We want to transition you to success in your personal and professional life. 

The Careerist Project will help refine and redefine your life career purpose through personal. and professional success. We will help shape, transform, and propel your life and career skills. The Careerist Project is gear towards underrepresented graduating seniors and college graduates who want to think, live, and work outside the box. Your Careerist Project experience is totally remote with accessibility to two coaches.

To Learn More About the Careerist Project We will be hosting our first Q& A session on Wednesday, July 17th at 7:00 pm EST/6:00 pm CST. For more information, please email Andrea and Shemika at careeristproject@gmail.com or call/text me at 334-319-5278. Please pass on this information to your tribe/network. Love and Light, Drea Register Here

Download Your FREE Self-Care Guide: Self-Care for Brown Girls

                         

                             Make Self-Care Your Number 1 Priority!!!

               

                 Download Your Free Self-Care for Brown Girls Workbook:  

                                    bit.ly/SelfCareforBrownGirls

Make sure you check out The Self-Care for Brown Girls Affirmations and Meditations!

http://selfcareforbrowngirls.bandcamp.com/album/self-care-for-brown-girls-audio-course

Why I Am Sick and Tired of Fluffy, Phony, and Overpriced Empowerment Conferences and Brunches

From time to time, I go off on a tangent on social media, especially when I come across expensive, fluffy, fake, straight cash homey, empowerment conferences, and brunches. I love brunch. I brunch so hard. I will wake up early as hell for brunch because I am a foodie, let's face it. Back to the topic... I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of just discussing the same ole same ole... Girl Boss, Black Girl Magic Boss, "How to X amount of dollars even though I haven't made those dollars," rah-rah and blah-blah empowerment workshops and brunches. I can admit that I have fallen victim to this kind of empty empowerment brunches and conferences once upon a time until I woke the hell up and realize that it really didn't solve the root of the issues. I realize at these empowerments, we didn't talk about the realness. The realness such as the severity of mental health, medical apartheid within the Black Community, infant mortality rate, miscarriages, postpartum, poverty within the Black Community, food deserts, environmental racism, lower level socio-economics, self-esteem, and more.

When will we have those conferences on physical health, mental health, socio-politics, economics, spirituality, quality of life, self-esteem, confidence, and healing?

We need these things intact as a community before getting the coins, looking fly, and being a BossBae. Honestly, I’m burnt from empowerment conferences and brunch, and I’m a speaker! I’m tired of the feel-good-ism/rah-rah for 72 hours and back to the suffering in silence until the next highest price and nonsensical workshop/conference/brunch!

We must think in terms of Community because too many of us are suffering as a collective. As Fannie Lou Hamer states, "Nobody's free until everybody's free."

Since we are on this topic, I would like to discuss the cost of these said conferences and brunches. Many of these conferences are for women of color or Black Women per se. Black Women's net worth is only worth $5. Yes, you read that correctly $5 Effin Dollars! You don't have to believe little ole me... Check out this article: "Median Wealth For Black Women at $5 and We Don't Care". Some of you might say, well, "those" women aren't part of my demographic because they cannot invest x amount of dollars. What? Don't you understand you to are part of that demographic, Beloved! Please don't you are excluded!  African American women are only worth $5, but we are the most educated, underpaid, broke, and hard-working people who deserve full health! Some of those women would love to attend a life-transforming conference, but you tell them to find the money from somewhere or somebody. Some don't offer scholarships or payment plans because you are all about getting straight cash money. I am often disgusted when I hear people state that folks should find the money from somewhere to invest in said programs and conferences. We are in the State of Emergency as a collective. We live paycheck to paycheck and one mishap away from homelessness or unemployment. How dare anyone of us tells anyone to pull themselves by the bootstrap and find the money from somewhere, and folks are out here trying to survive? I live in reality, and it is real in the field out here.
Yes, being in business, you are want to make a profit, but stop trying to guilt trip and manipulate your attendees into "investing" into mediocre products and services they cannot afford. Yes, many of your attendees cannot afford these products and services, especially if your target is Black Women trying to make something out of nothing.  If you are going to provide a product/service, make it affordable, life-transforming, and investment-worthy. We all have something to offer, especially resources, but stop selling hope and dreams to people already in debt and one paycheck away from homelessness.

A question to the tribe: How do you feel about empowerment brunches and workshops? Do you attend them? Has your life transformed from one? What topics would you like to see discussed at said events?

As always, thank you for reading the blog post. Thank you for rocking with Brown Girl From Boston Tribe!

Peace, Love, and Light!
Drea

Why We Should Break Up with Martyrdom Because It Is Killing Us!!!

Today, I am choosing to dismantle martyrdom one action step, one video, one post, one thought, and one advocacy at a time. Martyrdom is killing Black People because we love to self-sacrifice ourselves to be liked, validated, accepted and love by people who really don't give an EFF about us. I must include our families in this not giving an Eff about us topic because some family members don't care whether we are holistically healthy or not as long as we are sacrificing ourselves to do for them why should they.

I am tired of seeing so many women in my family including my Mother, self-sacrificing herself for the sake of helping others who don't care. I am also tired of being pulled into that realm of being on the receiving end of the toxicity of deeming not to care because I choose to utilize the powers of self-preservation and not be used like a tampon. I am choosing to break the cycle of martyrdom because it is manifesting unnecessary stress which will turn into diseases and other fatal illnesses in which that will turn into an early death sentence and I am not about dying soon.

I am here to raise our vibration, awaken our inner FLY Girl and womanhood and distrust the patterns and pathologies that are not serving us. Black People have always sacrificed ourselves and find ourselves in the same situation all in the name to save another candidate, policy or whatever the case. We have put our lives on the line constantly and I am tired of not having others to do the same. Now is the tine to pull together to save ourselves.