So Today, I Cried Instead of Crashing Out

                                                    So, today I cried instead of crashing out.
                                                        Instead of Jesus wept, I wept

                                                       at the most inopportune moment.

I tried to hold it in.
You’re not supposed to cry on camera,
not in front of your supervisor.
But I didn’t care.

I needed to weep.
To be seen as human.
To let go of the perfectionist mask.

I wept for those who can’t.
For those who struggle to express
misplaced emotions and buried feelings.
I wept for past experiences
that left me broken and bleeding in silence.

I wept into my mother’s arms—
because the pain was too much
to hold on my own.

So, I wept.

Will I do it again?
I’m afraid so.
But weeping…There 
was a feeling of sweet sorrow.

In that moment of vulnerability,
I didn’t apologize.
I took a deep breath and said:
“I don’t belong here.”
My purpose and plan are
beyond this place.

Those words came from a place of
discernment,
self-awareness,
and discovery.

I’m thankful for the space I was in—
safe enough to break down
and still stand up again.

Yes, I wept.
With embarrassment.
And empowerment.

Because this isn’t my final resting place.
This is just a stop along the journey.
And I know—I know—
I’m rising to the top.

By Andrea C. Stallworth
 

✨ Author’s Note
I wrote this poem on a difficult day, one that reminded me of the power of my creativity when it flows freely. I hadn’t written poetry in a while, but the heaviness cracked something open. It reminded me that my best work doesn’t come from being micromanaged, criticized, or governed. It comes from my truth. From my soul. There’s a part of me I’ve suppressed for too long, and it’s time to let her rise, unapologetically.