“Forget about 'Going Viral' and 'Go Give Value'.” ― Bernard Kelvin Clive
We are living in a fantasy world, filled with hopes of going viral, becoming an overnight success with a huge check and delusion of grandeur of happiness. We live in an attention craved, ADHD, microwaveable society that receives validation through... social media. Social media is an amazing thing because you can connect with long lost friends, network, build a business and receive information through it. However, you should use social media wisely because you can give it permission to overtake your life which can leave you addicted and empty.
I woke up this morning and did my usual routine of checking all my social media accounts to see what's going on, who did what and complete business stuff. Even when you have the intentions on doing something productive, you find yourself on social media wondering how did you get there? What was your original plan to go online or on your phone? My all time favorite what was I suppose to do again? Getting back to my story...this morning I caught up in the rapture of validating myself through likes, follows and pretend friends.
But on this particular morning, I was extra emotional in my feelings (and no I am not on my cycle) when I discovered some "unlike" my Facebook business page and "unfollow" me on Twitter. As I sat there in my lonely thoughts, I actually got in my feelings and starting questioning myself, why? Now, I knew my mind and emotions was playing tricks on me because I also stated Googling, "Why people "unfollow" and "unlike" your page. I had to put on my big girl panties to self-explore and soul search this empty emotion I was feeling. I asked myself why are you getting upset about this? I had to dig deep to see where did this emptiness of validating from others came from. I realize that I wasn't validating myself, my hard word and good deeds. I was literally in the boxing ring by myself with my lonely thoughts, beating myself up over a facade. That was uncomfortable and difficult to admit but in order to grow you have to acknowledge your darkness and find the light of the lesson.
Since the Summer, I have did amazing work for my community, graduated with my certification in Personal Development and Executive coaching through CaPP Institute, was selected to speak at a high profile conference for women of color in 2015 and I won a business pitch idea contest! Wow...you have to be courageous, vulnerable, fearless, creativity to believe in yourself and putting yourself out there with limited experience with blessings from The Almighty, Jehovah. How dare I put my confidence on the line and receive my validation through social media? I am already validated and confident enough to know who I am!
When I tapped into my inner essence, was still and listen intuitively, I realized I don't celebrate my success whether it is small or large. I just stay in the moment momentarily and keep it moving right after that. I don't give myself a pat on the back and say good job. I rush onto the next project, repeat and onto the next. Honestly, looking in within and getting to the root of the insecurity, was difficult to admit but I had to soul search and shift my mindset and start validating me first rather than being praised by likes, comments and retweets from social media. Social media is like the coldest winter, you recognize the beauty of connecting with people from all over the world but you start to despise the coldness, criticism and bitter you may receive from those who don't know you on a personal level.
Living a social media world is filled with fly by night success (so we think), perfectly painted pictures filled with flaws and facades and fake love. We often become confused because we wear various mask in which we don't even know who we are anymore. Hence, why we turn to social media to validate our dopeness and remain sleep tho. No, wake up, stay woke and do the inner work.
My challenge for everyone is to step away from your technology and social media and validate your dopeness, cultivate your inner essence, desires and recognize that you are great enough even with your flaws. We need to actually celebrate our success wholeheartedly and in the present in a humanistic manner through using our interpersonal and social skills versus being robotic like by automatically liking or commenting on a status despite the nature of it. Let's pick up the phone and start having conversations instead of sending a inbox or direct messaging one another. Let's go to a dope concerts and enjoy the moment rather than having our phones out, taking video or photos, let's enjoy celebrating in the moment rather than taking a "selfie" and being the first person posting it on social media. Let's just enjoy the moment with our actual family and friends who love and care about our well being versus being "unlike", "unfollow" or "unfriend" because you post too much, your information is irrelevant and other nonsense! Stop believing the hype and trusting everything that is posted on social media. What happened to common sense, researching and going to the actual source? Stop allowing social media and people to dictate your feelings and start recognizing, Who You Are: One dope individual!
Thank you rocking with Brown Girl From Boston, we appreciate you!
XOXO,
Drea
My question to you: Are you an avid social media user? Do you allow social media dictate your feelings? Share your comments, I would love to hear from you!
