Share Your Story: My Day At Google Women Techmakers' Conference

Hey, Brown Girl Tribe! I had the distinct honor of attending the Google Women Techmakers in Cambridge, MA, at the Google Campus. Over 200 women and a few good men attended, ready to celebrate and be empowered by International Women's Day. I was surrounded by and connected with women who are software engineers, front-end developers, illustrators, and more. Here I am, thinking I wasn't "good enough" because I didn't have the high profile of being an engineer or developer or having a degree within one of the STEAM industries. However, I had to return to reality because I am a self-learner and self-taught digital storyteller, digital social media strategist, and business developer. Like, I help people with their branding, social media, and storytelling. I also taught within the technology education program as a graduate assistant at the University of Southern Mississippi while obtaining my Master's of Social Work.

Selfie in front of the Google sign

I want to provide some of my actual tweets and tips from the conference. I was tweeting and updating throughout the conference. By the way, I suggest you open up a Twitter account, especially if you are attending any workshops or conferences anytime soon. Twitter is a great way to make your point, connect with attendees, panelists, and speakers, and retweet important information. I love Twitter and love using it as an attendee. Need Twitter assistance? Holla at your girl. 

I was inspired by the morning speakers, who consisted of a great mixture of diversity and inclusion of women in tech who founded and run successful startups. I was definitely inspired by two of the speakers: Julie Farago of Verily and Melissa James of The Tech Connection.

Julie Farago discussed how we shouldn't forget that we are humans who are imperfect and emotional.
Here are some highlighted Tweets and Tips from Julie Farago:
1. "Trust that you and your human self are needed." #WTM17
2. "If you want to make something great, you need to start with your own conviction."
3. "I'm a great manager not just because I'm smart but because I know that things like joy and sorrow exist at work."

Julie's segment helped me appreciate that it is okay to be vulnerable, passionate, and emotionally involved in my work. Sometimes, I beat myself up because I feel I should be doing more or I should be at a certain destination at 34 years old. Thank you, Julie!

When I share my story!

Next up was Elsa Sze, an Asian American sistah who spoke truth to power about the lies we tell ourselves daily. She spoke about how her father was diagnosed with a terminal illness right when he retired. She spoke about how her father lived his whole life by graduating from college, traveling the world, and being until his death. Here are some Tweets and Tips from Elsa Sze:
1. "Our voices matter every day."
2. "We are good at finding things. We are not good at wayfinding."
3. We have our own internal critic." (I Can't, I won't, I haven't, I'm Not, and I shouldn't)

Elsa's segment was everything because she kept it 100. We beat ourselves up over minuscule things and need to give ourselves more credit. We often limit ourselves and self-sabotage our greatness and never live an entire, passionate, and purposeful life.

Lastly, Melissa James, Founder of The Tech Connection, spoke truth to power. She spoke on being a first-generation Caribbean-American college student and on her journey of becoming a tech recruiter and starting her own tech company without a background and degree in STEAM. I was relieved and excited because her story is similar to mine. She went ahead and started her own inclusive and diversity recruitment firm due to her background in a start-up tech firm and working for Google in the past.

POV from Speechless

Here are some Tweets and Tips from Melissa James:
1. Build your confidence and work on pitching.
2. You need to have a sense of urgency.
3. Pay attention to your curiosity. That's God's way of telling you to research and act on that curiosity if applicable and upbeat.

So....the morning session was everything. The afternoon breakout session was exciting, with much storytelling and vulnerability involved. Speechless provided us with the beautifully explained Improv. If you ever did Improv, you understand how to stay in the flow, get out of your feelings, freestyle, and liberate yourself. I absolutely love Improv because we got to freestyle, laugh, come up with creative stories, empower one another, stay in the moment, and laugh. We had some laughs at the stories we created and did not count the mistakes and said what was on our minds and hearts. It was freeing because we did not hesitate, we did not hold back anything, and we didn't judge one another. 

Lastly, the panel discussion was done right. I have been on panels in which it was quite a bore because people were holding back and giving cookie-cutter answers. The panel at Google Women's Techmaker did a fantastic job capturing various women with diverse backgrounds who took risks, saw a need, failed, picked themselves back up, failed again, and used their differences to the best of their ability. I genuinely appreciate my Nigerian auntie, Yetunde, who started a coding school in Nigeria and is here in the States. She saw a need and went for it despite lacking resources and help. I love how she answered the question about being a Black Woman. She started being a black woman, which is like having Superpowers. People are not used to being in specific spaces, which makes them curious and interested in helping with funding or other needs. I did a Yass because being a Black Woman is powerful and magic, and we can sit at any table and communicate with folks on different levels. We know how to create resources, use our contact, and use our voice and ask for what we want and need. 

Afterward, when I met Yetunde, I told her she inspired me to work hard in my online work in digital strategic planning, social media, content creation, and digital storytelling. She gave me her card, and I will follow up with her immediately. 

I had a wonderful time at the conference despite feeling as if I wasn't this or wasn't that. I fell right in place and represented all the Brown Girls who are trying to find their way and find their power. I genuinely appreciate the empowerment and education I have received. Much love to all the Women Techmakers who are doing dope things while looking FLY as ever doing it.

Google loves feeding folks good food. Check out these cupcakes!

The Idea of Beautiful: A Brown Girl's Struggle with Beauty and Health

My favorite emcee, Rapsody, stated the perfect quote on her idea of beauty and struggle with her self-image due to being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease.

“I would be at shows rapping, get the pictures back, and my eyes would just pop out. And I’m like, ‘Aww, I look so ugly.’ My face structure changed a little bit. My face looked a little bit more swollen. I’m having trouble keeping my weight down. I’ve always been used to being 120/125. My metabolism is slow because I have a hyperthyroid now. I have to watch what I eat, and I have to work out a lot. That’s been a struggle. It affected my self-esteem and appearance-wise. When I made my first album, The Idea of Beautiful, it had little to do with it. You have to look at what makes you beautiful.” -Rapsody, Why Is Rapsody Still 'Hard to Choose'? Ebony Magazine


My struggle with my health and idea of beauty started 3 years ago. I've discovered something was out of alignment. My weight kept fluctuating, my spirit was broken, my emotions were unstable, and I masked my insecurities. I went from a healthy, active lifestyle to a deliberating, unstable, and shattered confidence. I was broken. I couldn't fit my clothes. I couldn't get out of bed most days. I couldn't remember anything. I cried. I cried. and I cried some more. Physician after Physician dismissed my claim of weight gain, migraines, bloating, inflammation, skin issues, digestion issues, and the list continues. I just refused to silence my voice.

I remember crying over pettiness. I cried over not wanting to go out in public. I cried over not fitting into my bridesmaid's dress for my brother's wedding and having to go up a size. I cried hysterically in my therapist's office the entire session about my health, self-image, and incompetent/pseudo-God-Like Complex of endless Physicians as I was being labeled "crazy" and "lazy" due to my unexplained weight gain. The entire hour that I cried, my therapist held that sacred, safe, and non-judgmental space for me while helping me dig deeper to break free from the labels and invisible chains.

And I still found myself crying!

I have hypothyroid disease, which is an autoimmune disease. What is a hypothyroid disease? "Hypothyroidism is an underactive thyroid gland. Hypothyroidism means the thyroid gland can’t produce enough thyroid hormone to keep the body running normally. People are hypothyroid if they have too little thyroid hormone in the blood." -Thyroid.com (http://www.thyroid.org/hypothyroidism/)

Hypothyroidism disease is curable and affects your entire body, mood, and emotions. Some days, I have unlimited energy, which is amazing because I can work out, cook unlimited meals, blog, and indulge in things I truly love. Some days I can't move, I am extra hard on myself, a hot ass mess, and I want to be left alone. Those days suck the life out of me, and I have to be extra mindful and present on those days. Usually, I am gentle with myself. I do nothing but rest, read, cry, meditate, pray, and enjoy loving myself and the love that my husband gives me. I love how to hold the space for me to just have an unlimited ugly cry. I usually limit my conversations with people unless it is my mom who will call the CIA and FBI and fly up here to love on myself and be the Mama Bear that she is despite me being 32 years young.

Throughout my 32 earth years, I can't recall struggling with my idea of beauty because I have thought that I live by my own standard of beauty. I've created my own style of fashion, felt comfortable in my skin, and felt that I was unfu%^able! Since being diagnosed with hypothyroidism, I have struggled with looking in the mirror from time to time because I have insecurities with the puffiness of my face due to fluid retention and inflammation. I have struggled with my stomach, which I camouflage because I went from abs to semi-flab (no heat, no judgment). I struggle with the dark spots and acne on my face and body because I feel people notice them before noticing me. Lastly, I struggle with joint flare-ups and inflammations. Some days, I can run/walk miles, dance, practice yoga, and weight lift. There are days I sit in my robe all weekend because I feel like an 18-wheeler truck committed a hit-and-run on my body.

Refining the Inner Goddess

In life, everything is temporary. I limit my television watching and participation on social media because that protects me from body shaming myself. Television and social media damage anyone's confidence, self-image, and self-esteem. Whether conscious or unconscious, we compare our entire existence, our looks, beauty, and standard of living to these "socialites" and social media celebrities who front a lot to keep up this pseudo-happy lifestyle. We abuse ourselves by altering our entire existence, trying to look like someone else who may have surgically enhanced or photoshopped their looks or manually enhanced their looks via phone filters.

Many women voluntarily destroy their bodies due to a lack of self-esteem, self-image, and support from those who admire their natural beauty. Recently, Sistah woman Iyanla Vanzant featured a beautiful Sistah on her show who was a model that received illegally bootleg butt injections because she didn't know how to value her feminine energy due to being born without a uterus and her inability to produce children. She is now struggling with silicone toxicity which causes inflammation in her legs, butt, and lower extremities. Imagine if she was surrounded by a healthy and loving support system that cultivates and validates her femininity and womanhood?

I woke up the hell up when I viewed that episode because I was measuring my outer beauty versus taking a look within and recognizing my inner goddess beauty. We have so many broken beauties that are suffering in silence due to not valuing and cultivating our self-esteem and confidence within. Yes, we can enhance our outer beauty with makeup and outer adornments, but how is your heart? How is your mind, sis? How is your inner goddess being fed? You can mask your brokenness temporarily. If you have a broken spirit, you are holistically broken no matter what weave, designer label, or makeup you are rocking.

Body Shaming From Family

I've been battling body shaming from some of my male family members. From cutting my hair cut, for being too thin, too athletic, too bossy, too this, and to that. Body shaming is such a taboo subject in the African, West Indian/Caribbean, African Diaspora, and African-American cultures. Body shaming is such a toxic, soul-breaking, and unhealthy behavior. People with body shame are in no position to shame anyone because they are also imperfect. People who have body shame also have a lot of internal suffering and insecurities.

I have created healthy boundaries to protect my body, holistic FLYness, and spirit. I have had my own Father's body shame me to my mother and husband. My Father hurt my soul when he harshly judges my weight gain. He stated that I was getting fat and eating everything in sight. How can someone who brought you into the world, who suppose to speak love and positivity in your life, harshly criticize the same thing you are struggling with?  I am thankful to my Mother and husband for protecting me because I was in such a fragile and vulnerable state to defend myself.

I am slowly forgiving my Father, but it is a work in progress. I refuse to internalize ugliness, tasteless, and uncensored comments. I have to keep my stress level to a minimum and understand that I don't have to tolerate body shaming and disrespect from anyone, including family members and friends.

In conclusion, I am relearning how to love myself. I am focusing on my journey to healing and health. I have a newfound appreciation for my life and its meaning. I strive to live a spiritual and full life I understand and accept that I am flawed and imperfect. When you can achieve a level of self-acceptance for yourself, you can cope with your struggles in life. Self-acceptance is vital to growth and development because you have to accept YOU even when people don't accept YOU!

I have decided to share my photo from a recent photoshoot that I did with the lovely Kimberly Dobosz Photography. Looking at my photos, I am proud of myself for proceeding with the photo shoot. I love the ambiance and tranquil and lively feel that my photos provide. I have nitpicked my photos but truly embraced my current outer and inner beauty state. I am learning how to live with my current idea of beauty.

Before you laugh and judge someone on their outer and inner struggle, please check yourself before you wreck yourself. You are not perfect, neither, and work on your internal struggle!

"Make sure you shine on and be a light to the world" -Andrea C. Imafidon

Love and light,

Andrea

Breathe & Let It Flow

               “If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.” -Amit Ray

As a society and people, we often underestimate and underutilize breathing. Breathing is light, breathing creates mindfulness, breathing means we are alive and alert. Being a former athlete and avid exerciser, I have to consistently tell myself to breathe. Many times, we often hold our breath which can cause lack of oxygen, lack of circulation, anxiety, light-headedness and other health complications. 

Today, I woke up not expecting to face a busy but overwhelming day in such a short span. I had ask God, "Can I live"?  in a joking manner. Don't believe the hype, God have a sense of humor as well. Once, I made that joke, I listened to my heart and intuition and it simply, said "Breathe"! I sat in silence and I simply breathe in and out for five deep breaths and experienced mindfulness and stillness. I just needed to listen to my body to calm down and release any feelings of anxiety and feelings of  overwhelm. 

Three Ways to Let It Flow

1. Confront Fear- What do you fear? Confrontation, fear of heights, fear of failure, fill in the blank of what you fear. Assess your feelings, thoughts, actions whenever you are feeling fearful. Instead of fleeing from fear, sit/stand still, stop analyzing your thoughts, get into your heart and gut and start breathing. Take at least three to five breaths in and out and take notice on how your mind and fearfulness shifted. Don't let Manic Mondays take over your life and control your emotions.
2. Release Negative Thoughts-Many times we are distracted, overwhelmed, stress, and unmotivated to tap into our creative side. We all face various road blocks to fully maximize our creativity and passion. We usually try to force creativity instead of mindfully allowing it to naturally flow. Release any negative thoughts, forcefulness thoughts and let it flow.
3. Embrace Imperfection- Let's face it, we are imperfect. Stop trying to be "perfect" and stop adding unnecessary drama and anxiety to your life. Embrace the cray cray, change and imperfections in life. When life get tough; smile, breathe and Harlem Shake lol! There is beauty in everything!

Remember, "Smile, breathe and go slowly." - Thich Nhat Hanh