Wednesday, July 29, 2015


"You have to learn how to care about people without taking on all their problems."-Phylicia Rashad

On a daily basis, I am free, unbothered and an unapologetic FLY Brown Girl! But this week, I've been practicing being unbothered, unapologetic and Nae Nae-ing (made this one up) myself away from bullish. Baby, it has been an uphill battle because I am dealing with some bothersome folks and situations.

I drive my entire family Cray, Cray because I remain unbothered, calm and intact when bullish happen that is uncontrollable. To them, they feel as if I don't give zero "Fs" but in my mind is true. I continue to emphasize to my family, especially to my mother and husband, that I have to keep my stress low because I am battling my autoimmune disease. I refuse to use my illness as a crutch and keep being unbothered. I don't have time for going 0 for 100 with them because I have a lot at stake. The stakes are high when it comes to a Cray, crazy situation.

Anyways, we finally made it through my oldest brother's wedding and everything went Cray, Cray, but it was a beautiful, chaotic day. From unsure thoughts of marriage, my original bridesmaid dress not fitting, being a wedding coordinator, my brother's last minute wedding meltdown, my mother's "Ah Lawd" meltdown and I was outdone by everyone and everything.

I have been breathing, praying, meditating and getting away from it all. I had to be the daughter, life coach, therapist, supportive and assertive little sister, daughter, and voice of reason. I came to the conclusion that I am done and it wasn't worth getting myself worked up. I am coping by strongly standing in my truth, saying 'No' firmly and being unbothered in a somewhat bothersome situation. Am I pissing off a lot of people by being unbothered? You damn right, my folks are pissed but I am dealing with compassion burnout, an autoimmune disease with further unknown illnesses, and self-image and body shaming issues from a family member who shall remain nameless until the next blog post due to the fluctuation of weight, mood swings, and other BS.

Despite dealing with all this, I am unapologetically FLY and loving myself through these bothersome issues and situations that I am dealing with. It is hella challenging, but Jehovah is helping me develop more thickness of the skin, love for myself and being self-acceptance of self. I am all that I have and I must love myself through every challenge.

Chile, please stop allowing bother some people and situation kill your energy and vibe. Here are five ways to be unbothered in a somewhat bothersome situation:

1. Know who you are and knows what make you tick! Many times we take on a lot of peoples is forward to be "Captain Save the World" and  "S (hero). Say no to saving folks, especially able-bodied folks who are capable of saving themselves. You are not Jehovah, Jesus, Allah or whoever else. As Project Pat said, don't save them, they don't want to be saved.

2. Stop holding your breath! Whenever we are stressed, burnout or just over it, we usually hold our breath. Holding your breath, stop the flow and forces us to hold on to our problems inward, which cause stress, illness, and other issues. When we breathe in we are regrouping, refreshing and resetting our energy. When we breathe out we are releasing toxins, negativity, aggravation, thoughts and clear our minds.

3. Stand on Your Truth! Many of us go along with the program, straddle the fence and conform to please others while we are unsatisfied. If you don't like something, someone or a situation speaks your truth in a loving but firm manner. I added loving because you must murder people with love because they expect bitterness from people who are speaking and standing for truth. People pleasers never win nor happy because they lose their voice and power by giving to people who don't deserve it.

4. Remove yourself from the bothersome situation! I have learned how to physically, mentally and emotionally remove myself from bothersome people and situations. These situations and people are harmful, detrimental and useless.  We use great energy trying to figure out bothersome and chaotic people and situations. Please, stop it. These situations and people have an understanding and relationship with one another that is confusing, dysfunctional and abusive. Run far away from it.

5. Find your solace to keep your inner peace! Many people who are bothersome haven't found peace within, and like to disrupt others who are peaceful. You have to protect your solace by any means necessary. Find your sacred and safe place where you can let your hair down, be comfortable in your skin, and cleanse your mind, body, and spirit. Dealing with a bothersome situation and people will drain your entire energy, disrupt your peace and take away your joy!

Remember, when you encounter a bothersome person and situations, RUN! It is none of your business, stop trying to slap back at everything and everyone that is bothersome because they are pros at being bothersome and protect your FLYness. You are too FLY to be bothered.

Thank you for reading and supporting Brown Girl From Boston!

Love and Light,


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