I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down and think
that everything is Okay.
Boy, I am only human.
This girl needs more than occasional hugs as a token of love from you to me. " Karyn White, Superwoman circa 1988
"Baby, they can't play you
Cause I'll save you with my superpowers
Boy, I'm only human
But I'll be your Superwoman." -Lil Mo', Superwoman circa 2001
Two different songs, two different eras, and two different artists with similar but different meanings. Both artists are crying out, tired of being intense, inhuman, and sick, and tired of being sick and tired. Many women embraced being a Superwoman or Wonder Woman in previous and modern eras. I am here to give you permission to be an imperfect woman, especially if you are a Black woman. Proudly wearing that S or WW on your chest is killing you silently and softly because you are trying to save everyone and everything while sacrificing yourself, your mental health, physical health, and holistic health. Go ahead, rip that cape off, and embrace being an imperfect woman who needs to save you from you.
Who is showing up and showing out for you when you are busy trying to save that insecure and unstable man you have been chasing. Who is showing up and showing up for you when you are taking that nonsense from an underqualified supervisor? Who is showing up for you when you are alone, suffering in silence, broke, busted, disgusted, and depressed? Who is showing up for YOU? Here you go wearing that damn S/WW on your chest, swooping in, showing up for everyone and everything with that fake smile on your face, saying that everything is okay and knowing healthy things are not. When are you going to show up and show out for YOU?
Many of us are burned out from being too compassionate, existing in lust, existing in a like ship, and existing in a situationship. We are bending over backward for individuals who don't deserve our love when desire is being served. Why is it so hard to be a Superwoman/Wonder-woman to yourself? When you are serving, uplifting, loving, and caring for yourself, you don't have time to look for individuals to save you. You can protect yourself and serve yourself with love and happiness.
We give our best to people who stress us out, keep us functioning at a low frequency, and keep us stuck from reaching our best selves. We give our power away to people who are working at a low frequency, and we are giving CPR to relationships that need to be buried and laid to rest. You are constantly physically sick, running on fumes, gaining weight, looking old, and always tired and upset because you are trying to save everyone and everything. Now it is time to press reset and start giving your best to YOU!
Now is the time to fill yourself with love, energy, Light, positive vibrations, and positivity. Serve from your overflow and holistically replenish yourself by investing and committing to you. You want to spend time with yourself, you want to be happy in the skin that you are in, and you want to eat foods that make you feel good, feel healthy, and look good.
Being a Superwoman and Wonder Woman doesn't mean you can be all things to all people at once. Being a Superwoman and Wonder Woman means that you are an imperfect woman who is heavily flawed. You know when to love yourself when the world doesn't love you back. You know when to sit somewhere to rest and relax when you over-exert yourself. You know when to say yes to things and people and when to say no to things and people that don't serve you. You know when to set limits, know and understand your own limitations, commit to a time schedule, and not glorify busyness.
Signs You are Using Your Superpowers to Save Others vs Using Your Superpowers to Save Yourself
1. You are the President of the PTA, MBA, NBA, ABA, and other organizations, but you are exhausted, angry, and powerless in your personal life.
2. Your smile is fragile, fake, and crooked because you mask your insecurities, hurt, and pain.
3. Trying to keep up with your friends who are broke, busted, and disgusted, but y'all swear y'all doing the damn thing.
4. You don't have time to work out or cook a wholesome meal and are just unhealthy overall.
5. Your modest wine drinking went from drinking a glass to drinking an entire bottle day in and day out to numb your pain.
6. Your friends are cray, life is crazy, and you support their cray. Your life is slowly turning cray because you are in alignment with the cray-cray-ness.
7. You embrace being needed because you have been programmed by your family, friends, and society to do so.
8. You are everything to everyone, but refuse to be everything to yourself.
9. You are suffering from mental health issues, but you eat, complain, drink, have sex, lie, and distract yourself from seeking help. *See #1*
10. You often become jealous when others outgrow you while you are stuck in your own way.
Be your own Superwoman and Wonder Woman! FLYness is your birthright.
Remember to fearlessly and foremost love yourself to be freely liberated!
As always, thank you for reading Brown Girl From Boston.
Love and Light,
Drea
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