Depart From Me, Counterfeit

You have to learn how to decipher who is truly for you and who is not for you. Many times, we are tired, isolated, and hopeless because our phones are dry, social media does not hit the same anymore, and we just want excitement in our lives. In those moments, desperation can make us move without discernment, wisdom, or prayer.

But desperation will have you entertaining counterfeits. In this season of my life, I am rebuilding. My discernment and prayer life are at 1000. I no longer try to fix, repair, save, or change people because only the Most High God can truly do that. My job is to depart, pray for people’s deliverance, and keep moving forward in peace.

I knew God did not play about me when He dried up everything around me. He had me delete and block people. He had me forgive them and still block them. Some people think forgiveness means continued access, but sometimes God requires separation for your protection.

I remember dragging myself into my prayer closet early in the mornings just to cry and pray because I truly felt alone. There were mornings I did not even have words. But deep down, I knew God was protecting me and redirecting me toward better, healthier, and more aligned opportunities and blessings.

Now that I am in a rebuilding season with God, I am wiser, clearer, and more knowledgeable about people, patterns, and spiritual warfare. I have also learned something humbling: I am not a victim in every situation. Some things I experienced came from reaping what I had sown because I rushed processes, ignored discernment, forced connections, and held onto people and opportunities God was trying to remove from my life.

Reap What You Sow

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.”

— Galatians 6:7

The scripture above humbled me because sometimes we pray for deliverance while still entertaining what God told us to leave behind. People can truly look like they are the one for you. The best friend. The homegirl. The husband. The business partner. The opportunity. But not everybody who enters your life is assigned by God. Some people are distractions sent to delay you, drain you, confuse you, or keep you emotionally attached to dysfunction.

Meanwhile, your real A1s may look different.

Your real people will intercede in prayer for you. They will pour into you. They will hold you accountable. They will lovingly correct you when you are half-stepping. They will push you toward purpose instead of chaos. They will respect your boundaries and your growth.

That is why discernment matters.

You have to assess people by their fruit, not just by chemistry, attention, words, appearance, or potential.

The Fruit of the Spirit

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

— Galatians 5:22–23

What the Fruit of the Spirit Looks Like:

• Love

• Joy

• Peace

• Patience

• Kindness

• Goodness

• Faithfulness

• Gentleness

• Self-control

Everybody can say they love God, but fruit reveals character. Pay attention to how people move when they are angry. Pay attention to how they handle correction. Pay attention to how they treat people they cannot use. Pay attention to whether they bring confusion or peace into your life.

Discernment is not judging people harshly. Discernment is wisdom. It is spiritual protection and a boundary.

Depart From Me

If you find yourself entertaining counterfeit people, step back and ask yourself: Why am I forcing what God is trying to remove?

Some of us are out here confused, emotionally drained, and delusional because we keep holding onto people that God already exposed. Everybody who gives you attention is not assigned to you. Some people are distractions wrapped in good looks, smooth words, false comfort, or temporary excitement.

That is why you need discernment and prayer.

Depart From Me Scripture

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven… Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’”

— Matthew 7:21–23

Sometimes God will literally separate you from people because their presence is blocking your peace, purpose, growth, and obedience. You do not want to get caught up out here in these streets attached to counterfeits who leave you confused, spiritually drained, anxious, and disconnected from God.

Get away from that.

Spend time with the Most High. Spend time reading your Bible.

Spend time in prayer. Spend time healing instead of chasing validation, attention, or potential.

Isolation with God is better than confusion with counterfeits.

And listen, when God removes people from your life, let them go, honey.

Stop reopening doors God closed. Stop trying to rescue people God separated you from. Stop romanticizing dysfunction because you are lonely.

God is not removing people to punish you. He is protecting you. He is clearing space for peace, purpose, healing, divine connections, and better opportunities.

Some separations are blessings in disguise.

And let me say this too: some of y’all need discernment, prayer, AND therapy. Go sit on that couch and go talk to the lady. Be honest with the lady and be honest with yourself and DO THE INNER WORK!!!!

Healing is spiritual, but sometimes healing is also practical. Some people are carrying abandonment wounds, trauma, rejection, people-pleasing habits, low self-worth, and emotional chaos into every relationship and connection. Then, when things fall apart, they blame everybody except the unhealed parts of themselves.

Therapy helped me become more accountable, self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and honest with myself. Prayer is powerful, but God can also use wise counsel, licensed professionals, and safe spaces to help you heal.

There is nothing weak about getting help. Nothing is embarrassing about unpacking your pain. There is nothing wrong with learning healthier patterns.

Some folks are entertaining counterfeits because they are afraid to be alone. Some people are trauma-bonding instead of building healthy connections. Some people are addicted to chaos because peace feels unfamiliar.

Healing requires honesty.

You cannot pray for healthy relationships while ignoring unhealthy behaviors, unresolved wounds, lack of boundaries, or emotional dysfunction.

God will do His part, but you also have to do the work.

Pray.

Read your Bible.

Fast.

Journal.

Rest.

Go to therapy.

Set boundaries.

And stop giving everybody access to you.

Protect your peace, honey.

In this season, I am choosing peace over potential.

I am choosing prayer over panic.

I am choosing discernment over desperation.

And I am choosing obedience over attachment.

Some people are assignments.

Some people are lessons.

Some people are distractions.

And some people are divine.

Ask God for the wisdom to know the difference.

 

Being A Strong Black Woman Is Not My Calling

I woke up and decided being a Strong Black Woman was not my calling. Being a Strong Black Woman is not my ministry. I cannot and will no longer kill myself for the sake of keeping my career, keeping the peace, or settling for nonsense. I would rather avoid situations and environments where I must stay strong. 

I woke up and received a download from the Most High to write a quick blog post about being A Strong Black Woman and how I have suffered in silence while taking on unnecessary stress, nonsense, and toxic treatment from myself and others. I am unashamed to state that I brought into the narrative of being a Strong Black Woman and how to be unbothered and stoicism about things that do bother me, hinder me, and keep me stuck in this unhealed, traumatic, and perpetuated lie we have inherited from our ancestors, our Mothers, and other Black Women and often time society. Before getting into my story about being strong, I have to say this: being a Strong Black Woman is detrimental to our mental health, physical health, and spiritual health. 

It affects our mental health: It affects Black Women's mental health because we suffer in silence and internalize toxic messaging, wear a mask, can't be sensitive, and constantly suppress who we are. We have to put our needs on the back burner and become a martyr to be strong and stoic. 

It affects Black Women's physical health because when we internalize the messaging of being strong and not letting your hair down, we are stoicism and unbothered while we are suffering from high blood pressure, rising levels of cortisol, emotional eating, insomnia, underlying health issues such as an autoimmune disorder, fibroids, and more. Many Black Women are taught to be caregivers, prove their worth, and neglect themselves for the sake of pushing through and being strong because you cannot allow others to see you sweat while your mental and physical health is declining. 

It affects our spiritual health; faith and prayer are sometimes all we have. Still, even that is affected because you question the Most High on your internalized struggle: why are you dealing with difficult situations, people, and toxic environments. You become hopeless and helpless because you feel the highest abandon you, and your faith wavers. 

I have decided to break up with being strong because I am exhausted. I am tired of fronting and adopting the ideology of others because that doesn't work for me. One of my managers told me I needed to be strong and toughen up because the "students" would take advantage of me. I needed to rule with an iron fist. No, ma'am, that's not me. Plus, you get more with honey than you do with it. I will not subscribe to being a Strong Black Woman to appease other aggressive, harmful, and toxic Black Women. I refuse to prove my toughness because I come from a long line of Strong Black Women, but on the low, they were resilient; no doubt, they also died at young ages due to stoicism, aggressive stress, toxic environments, and caring for the needs of others while neglecting themselves. I am trading in strong for being soft, sensitive, and sensible. Sometimes, due to the environments and people I was surrounded by, I had to adapt to the Timberland Boot energy, aka being strong, independent, and fiery, but that was exhausting. When I am in survival mode or want to be heard and seen, I revert back to that energy. Still, it doesn't serve me and takes a significant hit on my mental health, physical health, and spiritual health because I was masking my true self instead of walking and living my truth. I have been told that you will have to deal with something and stop crying because people will take advantage of your "weakness" instead of, wow, you are empathetic. Let's cultivate that skill, which is a strength. 

Journal Prompt: Flyness, what are you done with? What are you going to replace that with?
 

Curating My Happiness and Peace: Bringing in 2024 with a Renewed Vibe

 When you the sun, you shine on all the Icaruses (uh)

Know my power, I know what my penmanship did (it's dope)

Drop so many jewels, I couldn't even put 'em on wrist (uh)

That's the sacrifice (yeah) when you this nice (ah)

They wanna dim your light (they tryin' to)

But never that (never that)

Never that (never, never, never) - Rapsody, Asteroid

Rapsody, my homegirl, my sis, and one of my favorite artists inspired me to curate and renew my happiness and peace. I had a dope 2023 with a few trials and tribulations with plenty of triumphs from dropping my book (Manifesting Your Greatness), launching The Fly Girl Shop, reaching my financial goals, physical goals, and mental health goals by attending therapy every month, and listening to healing, and embracing a new level of love through self-love and allowing someone else to love me. 

Despite all this dopeness, flyness, and often shyness, I find myself peeling back specific layers of complications, complexities, and vulnerabilities to the point I said, "Yo, people really don't care about you, but do you care about YOU?" Once I had that introspective thought, I had to shut it down. Shut down the inner chatter, the self-doubt, the negative self-talk, and often unanswered triggers. I remember burying my Aunt in late Feb/early March and having a complete meltdown after the funeral because enough was enough. I was exhausted because this was the third death on my paternal side of the family, grieving family members, my divorce finally being over after 2 years, and just finding myself no longer holding on to stoicism and holding everyone down. It took my significant other saying to me..."You should go back to therapy." I found my old therapist and got to work, and I am still working. I am thankful because I have evolved, cried, reached "aha" moments, discovered my inner strength, and made an exit plan in various areas of my life, and now I am curating my happiness and peace vibe for 2024. 

Turning 40 was also eye-opening because you find a liberation switch, and life begins at 40. I have evolved and am more assertive, wanting to live a gentler, softer, wiser, kinder, and loving life. I have had my ups and downs, but I hung in there and kept going. I had my ups and downs with my love life, but after a year and some changes later, I am still hanging in here. I find myself battling religious trauma and struggling with holiday celebrations. I have many emotions, but it helped me level up personally and professionally and move out of the way. 

I have found myself being fearless, vulnerable (which is a scary zone for me), and glowing up. I deserve all the great things I have received, am going to receive, and will experience. I am excited to curate my happiness, peace, and love. 2024 will be a vibe, and I can't wait to experience it. In the meantime, I am on a significant social media hiatus because that ish is annoying AF, and I often wonder if people listen, care, and apply the gems. I am at the point in my life in which I have to shrug my shoulders, mind my business, and focus on my happiness, peace, and love. I am focusing on living a healthy, whole, and healed life. Chile, my goal is to live until my 100s, surrounded by love and quality people such as my future husband, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, and leave a lasting legacy. 

For those of you who are Day 1 or today's tribe members, I am sending you much love, light, peace, happiness, and freedom. Curate your vibe, happiness, peace, love, and a dope 2024. 

If you are interested in reaching out to me, please email me as I am on a social media detox, but my email inbox is drea@browngirlfromboston.com

Brown Girl Reminder: Rest is a requirement, not a luxury!

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Mental Health Is Wealth

 

Setting Intentions for June: June Journal Prompt

 

When you have a particular assignment placed on your life, you can't do what everyone else does. You have to remain disciplined, focused, self-controlled, and patient.

You have goals to achieve, generational trauma to break, inner healing, and moves to make. But, trying to be outside and all up in the videos faking it to make it, it ain't! So let's refocused and reset for June!

June's Journal Prompt: Grab a pen and notepad, and write your intentions for June.

• What is one area of your life do you need to be more discipline?
• What is one distraction you need to retract and do away with?
• What is one goal you need to achieve in June?

Tapping into your bounce back magic!

 

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