You have to learn how to decipher who is truly for you and who is not for you. Many times, we are tired, isolated, and hopeless because our phones are dry, social media does not hit the same anymore, and we just want excitement in our lives. In those moments, desperation can make us move without discernment, wisdom, or prayer.
But desperation will have you entertaining counterfeits. In this season of my life, I am rebuilding. My discernment and prayer life are at 1000. I no longer try to fix, repair, save, or change people because only the Most High God can truly do that. My job is to depart, pray for people’s deliverance, and keep moving forward in peace.
I knew God did not play about me when He dried up everything around me. He had me delete and block people. He had me forgive them and still block them. Some people think forgiveness means continued access, but sometimes God requires separation for your protection.
I remember dragging myself into my prayer closet early in the mornings just to cry and pray because I truly felt alone. There were mornings I did not even have words. But deep down, I knew God was protecting me and redirecting me toward better, healthier, and more aligned opportunities and blessings.
Now that I am in a rebuilding season with God, I am wiser, clearer, and more knowledgeable about people, patterns, and spiritual warfare. I have also learned something humbling: I am not a victim in every situation. Some things I experienced came from reaping what I had sown because I rushed processes, ignored discernment, forced connections, and held onto people and opportunities God was trying to remove from my life.
Reap What You Sow
The scripture above humbled me because sometimes we pray for deliverance while still entertaining what God told us to leave behind. People can truly look like they are the one for you. The best friend. The homegirl. The husband. The business partner. The opportunity. But not everybody who enters your life is assigned by God. Some people are distractions sent to delay you, drain you, confuse you, or keep you emotionally attached to dysfunction.
Meanwhile, your real A1s may look different.
That is why discernment matters.
You have to assess people by their fruit, not just by chemistry, attention, words, appearance, or potential.
The Fruit of the Spirit
What the Fruit of the Spirit Looks Like:
Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self-control
Everybody can say they love God, but fruit reveals character. Pay attention to how people move when they are angry. Pay attention to how they handle correction. Pay attention to how they treat people they cannot use. Pay attention to whether they bring confusion or peace into your life.
Discernment is not judging people harshly. Discernment is wisdom. It is spiritual protection and a boundary.
Depart From Me
If you find yourself entertaining counterfeit people, step back and ask yourself: Why am I forcing what God is trying to remove?
Some of us are out here confused, emotionally drained, and delusional because we keep holding onto people that God already exposed. Everybody who gives you attention is not assigned to you. Some people are distractions wrapped in good looks, smooth words, false comfort, or temporary excitement.
That is why you need discernment and prayer.
Depart From Me Scripture
Sometimes God will literally separate you from people because their presence is blocking your peace, purpose, growth, and obedience. You do not want to get caught up out here in these streets attached to counterfeits who leave you confused, spiritually drained, anxious, and disconnected from God.
Get away from that.
Isolation with God is better than confusion with counterfeits.
And listen, when God removes people from your life, let them go, honey.
Some separations are blessings in disguise.
And let me say this too: some of y’all need discernment, prayer, AND therapy. Go sit on that couch and go talk to the lady. Be honest with the lady and be honest with yourself and DO THE INNER WORK!!!!
Healing is spiritual, but sometimes healing is also practical. Some people are carrying abandonment wounds, trauma, rejection, people-pleasing habits, low self-worth, and emotional chaos into every relationship and connection. Then, when things fall apart, they blame everybody except the unhealed parts of themselves.
Therapy helped me become more accountable, self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and honest with myself. Prayer is powerful, but God can also use wise counsel, licensed professionals, and safe spaces to help you heal.
Healing requires honesty.
You cannot pray for healthy relationships while ignoring unhealthy behaviors, unresolved wounds, lack of boundaries, or emotional dysfunction.
God will do His part, but you also have to do the work.
Protect your peace, honey.
Ask God for the wisdom to know the difference.
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