Progression of FLYness

The progression of Flyness! I knew that going away to college 20 years ago would take discipline, leadership, Flyness, and determination to stay the course of completing not one but two degrees at 2 Universities! I have experienced full circle moments from being a student at Mother Tuskegee to being a Professor at Tuskegee. You just never know how your fitness will progress. So keep staying the course that God got planned for you! 

*1st photo top left was my graduation photo, 15 years ago by my TU brother, Dr. Ian Moore* 2nd photo mirror selfie a month ago. Progression of Flyness! 

Being fly is more than being fashionable, accessible, and an around-the-way girl. Being fly is understanding that you have to love yourself through the process of maturity and refinement stage. I always knew I was a fly despite hardships, pain, and disappointment. I realize my Flyness matured and progressed over time, which turned into a spiritual and ongoing refinement period. Flyness is showing up as your authentic self. 

👸🏾 Flyness is being an alchemist and turning your pain into power. 

👸🏾 Flyness knows your Flyness comes from within and glows from without. 

👸🏾 Flyness can handle issues and people with poise and grace. 

👸🏾 Flyness can be professional and calm when others are not. 

👸🏾 Flyness knows that you got it like that without being boastful and egotistical.

Being A Young, Fly, Overachiever Administrator: 5 Ways to Effectively Manage Employees

At the age of 29, I found myself on top of my game. I was just hired as the Director of Social Services for a reputable non-profit agency in Rhode Island. My life definitely changed for the better, I suppose! I embodied the young, fly and overachiever status because I wanted to become an Administrator ever since I graduated from undergraduate school. I remember taking a Social Service Management class in graduate school thinking I found my calling. I was proven wrong once I actually became an Administrator.

Becoming an Administrator at 29: I remember preparing for my interview with my former supervisor and the Regional Social Services Director. I wore my Black power suit, had my natural hair in an updo and ready to answer any challenging and curve ball questions about my leadership skills, communication skills, public speaking skills, and defining my work ethics. I exude confidence because I was called to become a leader at a young age. I am in my prime with real life social services experience, you would regret not hiring me.

During the interview, I totally aced the questions and displayed my true vulnerable side of wanting to become a leader. Becoming an Administrator is not a difficult task, the difficult part is managing people who are seasoned employees. I found myself alone during this era because I did not have a mentor nor coach internally who truly had my back and provide support. I had a temporary mentor which was my supervisor who busy, loving and overwhelmed within his role. This same supervisor was eventually transfer within six months of my tenure as Director of Social Services.

I led and managed five case managers who happened to be older, seasoned and skeptical of my arrival. I had to gradually build rapport, lead the team, pull up my sleeves and get dirty all while trying to keep a healthy boundary and working relationship with my team. I also had to constantly problem solve, check my emotions, communicate in a clear, concise and direct manner and affirm my case managers. I had a few dark moments as a supervisor in which one of the main case managers felt that she could override my authority any moment she felt the opportunity to do so. (sigh) Many young administrators are not prepared to handle difficult workers within the workplace.

I had to quickly learn how to establish boundaries within a supervisor/employees role. This particular case manager was just overall difficult to the point, I had to constantly remind her that I was her supervisor, reprimand (provide warnings) and even directly confront her in a professional manner. I believe she was one of the most difficult people I ever met but I respect her work ethic and compassion and eventually discovered her strengths and focus on that and celebrated every small victory we had because we need to celebrate something punitive to get through our work week.

If you are a young, fly and overachiever who is interested in becoming an Administrator, here are five helpful tips for you to effectively manage people.

1. Communication! Communication is key to a successful, working relationship. In order to lead people, you must communicate in a clear, concise, direct and consistent manner. If your team/employee appear lost in translation when you communicate to them, please communicate on their level. Have weekly/biweekly meetings to discuss issues, celebrate victories, discover your employee's strength and cultivate a working relationship. Display that you have their back by actively and mindfully listening to them because honestly your front line staff have the 411 on a lot of things. Pay attention, listen and communicate.

2. Be Visible! Led by example and guide your employees. Don't just into a new work environment and change things immediately because it is not done your way. You have to go slow, assess what's working and what's not working. Ask questions, be open for answers and be present. When you are present, not only are you leading but it shows that you care about the work that is being done by your employees and agencies. Be visible and present for meetings, events and for employees. Don't go back to your cushion office and hide from the problems of the workplace. Your presence is meaningful to the employees because it shows that you are invested in them and the agency.

3. Delegate! Many Administrators are not only overachievers but some are control freaks. Some Administrators feel that no one can do a better job at their job but them. Hence, why many Administrators don't delegate task and assignments because they are fearful that the employees are not equipped to handle various tasks and duties. Let go of the control and delegate task and assignments with a timeline. If you feel that your employees can't handle a task or duty, check in with them during their supervisory meeting time to see how you can provide support. Proving support and taking back the task and completing for them is hindering their work and experiential learning experience. Once again guide and empower your employees to invest in their professional experience.

4. Celebrate Small Victories! Your job as an Administrator is already difficult enough. You have to research and write grants, sit on an executive board, write quarterly reports, manage people, attend to crises and etc. Every now and again you must celebrate small victories. For instance, I wrote a grant to receive a six figure grant to restore, revitalize emergency assistance such as food for the food pantry, utility assistance and clothing vouchers. When we won that grant, we celebrated by throwing a block party for the neighborhood and had an internal party. You have to celebrate the small victories because you will perish and become disgruntled very easy if you constantly focus on the negativity of the job. Also, when you celebrate small victories, it will lessen the turnover rate at the job.

5. Invest in Your Employees and Self! As an Administrator, one of your role is bringing out the best in your employees and within yourself. You want your employees to thrive and grow within their position. You want to help them maximize their full potential by discovering and focus on their strengths. Continuing education, workshops and webnairs are great ways for you and your employees to grown and learn.  

Coaching question: Are you a leader or a boss? What challenges do you need to overcome in your current position in order to become a better leader? Share your comment below in the comment section. 

Thank you for reading Brown Girl From Boston! 

Your sister-friend,
Drea!

Are You F.L.Y. (First Love Yourself)? Tips on Self-Care

"You cannot be useful to yourself others or God if you run yourself ragged. In order to serve others, give to others, you must first be able to serve, support, and give to yourself." -Iyanla Vanzant

Between the weather and my constant running around serving, supporting and stressing, I find myself suffering from either a cold, allergies or sinus or a combination of all three. My body said, listen Drea, you need to slow down, rest and recharge before I shut down on you. What am I doing? I am resting and writing the blog post. I guess you can consider me being hardheaded because I am not being mindful nor resting. Technically, I am indulging in self-care because I am spending time loving myself and loving you all for writing this post to share knowledge.

As women, we are faced with many responsibilities such as being a wife, sister, friend, daughter, aunt, colleague, coach, mom, organizer, counselor, President of an organization(s), entrepreneur, the go to girl, the go get it girl, the do-er and whatever else you want to add. I also realize as women, we take on a lot of people's stuff without blinking and eye. We don't realize how these things effect us, we internalize and suppress people's stuff and our our stuff and eventually self-destruct. We don't do a great job with setting limitations and boundaries with others. We also don't do a great job with putting ourselves first on our "to do list"  Hence, this is why we suffer from burn out because we don't take the time to love ourself first. In order, to help others, serve others and encourage others, we must do these things to take care of ourselves first.

Many women feel guilty when they love and put themselves first. I am here to tell you that if you don't take time to care for yourself, you will be taken advantage of, become resentful and become bitter. I don't want that for you, I want better for you. Self-care is a must! You are doing yourself a service when you care for yourself. Celebrate yourself by loving yourself and appreciating all your greatness. Check out some simple ways to start your self-care routine.

1. Listen to Your Body. Stay connected with your feelings and emotions. When you feel imbalance, it is time to reconnect with yourself. Rest, Relax and Recharge. To prevent illnesses and burn out, get out exercise for about 30 minutes, switch up your eating habits, for example, are you an emotional eater? Do you overindulge in alcohol? Eat lots of junk food? Exchange those habits with healthier alternatives such as eating a meatless meal once or twice a week, instead of alcohol try drinking herbal tea and take a nice warm bath.

2. Breathe. Breathing is such an underestimated positive coping mechanism. At times, we need to breathe in and out. Breathing helps with being mindful, slow down your tempo and helping you to appreciate YOU. Breathing also helps with relaxation. Let's try a quick breathing technique, breathe in and out for three seconds and repeat two times. Did you noticed a difference? Breathing help with slowing down and calming the body. Whenever you are in self-care mode, remember to breathe and be mindful of your awesomeness.

3. Schedule Time to Recharge. Do you glorify busy? Are you always on the go? If so, schedule/block off 10 minutes or more for self-care. When you schedule your self-care appointment, don't forget it. Go ahead and get your calendar, alarm or whatever organizational tool you use for scheduling to block off your self-care time. Don't reschedule yourself nor allow anyone to interrupt your self-care routine. You need to refocus, recharge and reinvest in you.

4. Take a Vacation/Stay-cation. When was the last time you took a vacation or stay-cation? Now, if you have to think about this question, you haven't took a vacation/stay-cation in over a year. You don't have to go far to getaway. You don't have to be a planner to plan an amazing vacation. With the help of Groupon, Living Social and others coupons, you can go on a weekend getaway. If you don't have the financial ability to do a week or weekend getaway, plan a stay-cation in the comforts of your home. Watch your favorite movie, buy some aromatherapy candles, fragrances and body wash from Bath and Body Works and enjoy your at home spa. *Disclaimer* Bath and Body Works have a their semi annual sale going on now. Go purchase your smells goods for 50 to 75% off.* Back to the topic. You don't have to spend a lot of money to care for yourself.

5. Say No! No is a complete sentence and it will save you from having your plate full and burn out. When people know you are a giving person, that glorifies busy, and don't have boundaries and limitations, you are easy preyed on. People will take advantage of you, if you don't set boundaries and limitations. You must say no without any explanations, if you are compromising you. I can see some of you cringing about setting boundaries, limitations and saying no to people, places and things.  Saying no will protect you from heartache, headache, and burn out. Don't ever think that the world will end if you say no. That person may or may not understand but they will survive and find some else to assist them.

I hope you all will take heed to this blog post and start caring for yourselves. Let me leave you with this last quote from the amazing, strong, and powerful FLOTUS: Mrs. Michelle Obama. " Women in particular need to keep an eye on their physical and mental health because if we're scurrying to and from appointments and errands, we don't have a lot of time to take care of ourselves. We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own "to do" list. " -Michelle Obama

My questions to you: Are You FLY?  How will you start taking better care of yourself?

Thank you for reading Brown Girl From Boston blog. I love you all and thank you for your constant support.

XOXO,

Drea

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