Learn How To Vet Properly

Brown Girl Mental Health Reminder

Hey Brown Girl Tribe! Just a reminder that it’s okay to take a mental health day, week or vacation. You don’t get a badge of honor for being overworked, overwhelmed, or burnout.

Use that PTO
Take those naps
Hydrate
Take a shower
Change your sheets
Go get a check-up (physical, emotional, spiritual)
Check-in with an EAP Counselor or therapist
Don’t try to be Superwomen or Superman.
That job will move on with or without you! 

 

Monday Motivation: Be intentionally about your time! Don’t rush your progress!

Day 2 of The Holistic FLYness Challenge: Positive Self-Talk

Day 2: Self-Talk 🗣
Affirmation: I am becoming the best version of myself. I trust, respect, and love myself.

Healing Activity: It is time to unlearn and reprogram your negative self-talk into positive self-talk. Sit down and write 8 positive things about yourself. Take these 8 positive things you wrote about yourself, go to your nearest mirror, and recite these 8 things! Recite them every day to start reprogramming and unlearning these negative self-talk.

Introspective Questions:
✔️ Where did you learn how to speak to yourself so negatively?
✔️ Are you willing to re-record your inner self-talk?
✔️Would you allow a stranger to speak to you negatively? Why or why not?

Support Your People, Support Black Businesses, Support Positivity!

#FLYFriday: Do you openly and honestly support your people? I mean truly support their up and coming business? Do you invest your time, energy, and money into their quality product/service or do you expect them to give you the hookup (Free $.99)? There are a lot of people who don't have the money, fame, or notoriety being overlooked on a daily basis because they are not deemed successful because they are not known around the world. I am hear to let you know that you need to support your local black businesses because they are doing the dang on thing.

People who are famous with money don't know you and perhaps don't care to know you. Stop glorying famous people with money and support the real. Support people you actually know who are doing amazing groundbreaking work!

Check out the video and actually watch it. Ponder upon it, share it, comment on it and if you have a solutions how we can better assist one another, please share that in the comment section.

July's Theme: Celebrating Your FLYness

                         "Stop being everything to everybody. It is time to celebrate you." -Anonymous

Happy 1st day of July! July is a month full of celebrations, events, sun and fun. I decided to write a quick blog to help those are currently stuck being everything to everybody, on the verge of burn out, and just sick and tired of being sick and tired. Today, is the day in which you can start something beautiful and celebrate your flyness!

After this past winter, I decided that I am going to spend my warmer days, enjoying the beauty of nature by spending everyday outdoors. Dealing with the Polar Vortex killed every vibe and motivation that I had. I am thankful for the warmer weather because I love riding my bike on various bike paths, I decided to grow beautiful flowers to witness growth and transition, and I get to go on vacations and indulge on new memories and experiences with my love ones.

If you are unsure on how to spend your Summer 2014, I will provide some helpful hints, tips and sites to celebrate your FLYness and get your creative juices flowing. Let your hair down, stop being hard on yourself and enjoy yourself.

1. Learn a new hobby!  Have you ever wanted to learn how to swim? Take swimming lessons. Now is the time to learn a new hobby because the nights are longer, weather is warmer and why not now? (http://www.findmeahobby.com/)
2. Volunteer! Serving others is a great way to have fun, connect and serve the community and the people. Make a positive impact in one's life by giving your time, smiling and energy to serve others. Sign up to be a Big Brother/Big Sister. Help plant a garden within your community. Just do it! (http://www.volunteermatch.org/)
3. Complete an uncompleted project! Don't wait until the Fall to complete that project you've been working on. Working on a blog, event, home improvement, book and etc....why wait to launch until it is complete. It may not ever become complete if you are waiting for it to be "perfect". Just launch it because life and that project is a work in progress.
4. Start a side hustle! Looking to start a side hustle to turn into your full time gig. Look within and rediscover your passion and purpose in life. Jot down your passion, gifts and strengths and start your side hustle. Don't over analyze, get into your heart and start your side hustle. 
5. Get Moving! Someday is not a actual day. You want to increase your happiness, look good and feel good. Get moving. There are so many free physical activities within your community that is going on for the summer. These activities consist of Zumba in the park, walk/run challenges and more. Check you local city and town website, libraries or social media networks for free physical activities within your city. Make sure you stay hydrated with water, wear sunscreen and have fun!
6. Take a vacation! I try to take at least three major vacations and multiple mini vacations (getaways) a year. As human beings, we need to recharge, re energize, and live rather than exist. When you don't take a vacation, you suffer from burn out, depressions, headaches, and heartaches. You are never too busy to take a vacation. You make your schedule and in charge of your FLYness! Remember to stay FLY (First Love Yourself)! (http://www.parenting.com/gallery/51-mini-family-vacations)
7. Start a Summer Reading list! I love to read and I make time to read extra books during the summertime. I make a summer reading list to keep me in check on reading and obtaining more knowledge. I am a learning of life and I enjoy thriving and striving for excellence. It keep my mind active and creative. Check out Brown Girl From Boston 2014 Summer reading list (http://www.browngirlfromboston.com/2014/06/brown-girl-from-bostons-2014-summer.html)
8. Attend a workshop/class/conference! There are so many workshops, classes, and conferences that occur during the summertime. Some are free and affordable. Learning shouldn't stop over the summer or as an adult. Check out Eventbrite, Google and your local community centers for an upcoming workshop. (https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-pursuit-of-passion-and-purpose-group-coaching-workshop-tickets-11979195095)
9. Attend a festival, outdoor concert and event! I am a lover of music, local artists and food. I love attend outdoor events when all three are included.  There are so many festivals, fairs and outdoor concerts that occur only during the summertime and you don't want to miss out. I love traveling to other states to check out their festivals such as the Essence Music Festival in NOLA or the Food Truck Festivals in New England. Make sure you check out these free or affordable festivals. Check out Summer Music Festival Junkies for the music lovers (http://www.musicfestivaljunkies.com/) and Fodor's for all the foodies (http://www.fodors.com/news/photos/10-best-us-summer-food-festivals-for-2014)
10. Home Improvement/Organizing Projects! "When you house is a mess, your life is a mess." How many of you ever heard of that saying? Now, is the time to de-clutter your home, organize and freshen up your safe haven. Do you have clothes in your closet that you don't wear? If so, now is the time to start de-cluttering your closets. If you haven't worn something in over a year, either donate or give it away. Throw away old magazines, newspaper, paper and things that no longer serve it's purpose. (http://www.realsimple.com/home-organizing/organizing/donate-clothes-10000001043865/)

Remember, this is your time to celebrate your FLYness! Stop saying yes to everybody and everything and start saying yes to you and your happiness. Until next time!

How are you celebrating your FLYness and summertime? We look forward to hearing from you.

XOXO,
Drea

Are You F.L.Y. (First Love Yourself)? Tips on Self-Care

"You cannot be useful to yourself others or God if you run yourself ragged. In order to serve others, give to others, you must first be able to serve, support, and give to yourself." -Iyanla Vanzant

Between the weather and my constant running around serving, supporting and stressing, I find myself suffering from either a cold, allergies or sinus or a combination of all three. My body said, listen Drea, you need to slow down, rest and recharge before I shut down on you. What am I doing? I am resting and writing the blog post. I guess you can consider me being hardheaded because I am not being mindful nor resting. Technically, I am indulging in self-care because I am spending time loving myself and loving you all for writing this post to share knowledge.

As women, we are faced with many responsibilities such as being a wife, sister, friend, daughter, aunt, colleague, coach, mom, organizer, counselor, President of an organization(s), entrepreneur, the go to girl, the go get it girl, the do-er and whatever else you want to add. I also realize as women, we take on a lot of people's stuff without blinking and eye. We don't realize how these things effect us, we internalize and suppress people's stuff and our our stuff and eventually self-destruct. We don't do a great job with setting limitations and boundaries with others. We also don't do a great job with putting ourselves first on our "to do list"  Hence, this is why we suffer from burn out because we don't take the time to love ourself first. In order, to help others, serve others and encourage others, we must do these things to take care of ourselves first.

Many women feel guilty when they love and put themselves first. I am here to tell you that if you don't take time to care for yourself, you will be taken advantage of, become resentful and become bitter. I don't want that for you, I want better for you. Self-care is a must! You are doing yourself a service when you care for yourself. Celebrate yourself by loving yourself and appreciating all your greatness. Check out some simple ways to start your self-care routine.

1. Listen to Your Body. Stay connected with your feelings and emotions. When you feel imbalance, it is time to reconnect with yourself. Rest, Relax and Recharge. To prevent illnesses and burn out, get out exercise for about 30 minutes, switch up your eating habits, for example, are you an emotional eater? Do you overindulge in alcohol? Eat lots of junk food? Exchange those habits with healthier alternatives such as eating a meatless meal once or twice a week, instead of alcohol try drinking herbal tea and take a nice warm bath.

2. Breathe. Breathing is such an underestimated positive coping mechanism. At times, we need to breathe in and out. Breathing helps with being mindful, slow down your tempo and helping you to appreciate YOU. Breathing also helps with relaxation. Let's try a quick breathing technique, breathe in and out for three seconds and repeat two times. Did you noticed a difference? Breathing help with slowing down and calming the body. Whenever you are in self-care mode, remember to breathe and be mindful of your awesomeness.

3. Schedule Time to Recharge. Do you glorify busy? Are you always on the go? If so, schedule/block off 10 minutes or more for self-care. When you schedule your self-care appointment, don't forget it. Go ahead and get your calendar, alarm or whatever organizational tool you use for scheduling to block off your self-care time. Don't reschedule yourself nor allow anyone to interrupt your self-care routine. You need to refocus, recharge and reinvest in you.

4. Take a Vacation/Stay-cation. When was the last time you took a vacation or stay-cation? Now, if you have to think about this question, you haven't took a vacation/stay-cation in over a year. You don't have to go far to getaway. You don't have to be a planner to plan an amazing vacation. With the help of Groupon, Living Social and others coupons, you can go on a weekend getaway. If you don't have the financial ability to do a week or weekend getaway, plan a stay-cation in the comforts of your home. Watch your favorite movie, buy some aromatherapy candles, fragrances and body wash from Bath and Body Works and enjoy your at home spa. *Disclaimer* Bath and Body Works have a their semi annual sale going on now. Go purchase your smells goods for 50 to 75% off.* Back to the topic. You don't have to spend a lot of money to care for yourself.

5. Say No! No is a complete sentence and it will save you from having your plate full and burn out. When people know you are a giving person, that glorifies busy, and don't have boundaries and limitations, you are easy preyed on. People will take advantage of you, if you don't set boundaries and limitations. You must say no without any explanations, if you are compromising you. I can see some of you cringing about setting boundaries, limitations and saying no to people, places and things.  Saying no will protect you from heartache, headache, and burn out. Don't ever think that the world will end if you say no. That person may or may not understand but they will survive and find some else to assist them.

I hope you all will take heed to this blog post and start caring for yourselves. Let me leave you with this last quote from the amazing, strong, and powerful FLOTUS: Mrs. Michelle Obama. " Women in particular need to keep an eye on their physical and mental health because if we're scurrying to and from appointments and errands, we don't have a lot of time to take care of ourselves. We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own "to do" list. " -Michelle Obama

My questions to you: Are You FLY?  How will you start taking better care of yourself?

Thank you for reading Brown Girl From Boston blog. I love you all and thank you for your constant support.

XOXO,

Drea

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