Equipping U’s Sister Talks | Episode 37 | Living Vs. Thriving - How Do You Close The Gap?

The FLY Girl Effect Group Coaching

Make sure you join us for the 4-week personal, professional, and holistic group coaching program starting on January 10th! 

The FLY Girl Effect Group Coaching:  Finding Your FLYness, Journey to Self-Love, Self-Care, and Personal Development & Growth FLYness is your birthright... Have you ever asked yourself what is my life passion and purpose? Why was I created? I am on the verge of personal career, professional and overall burnout. I need to turn my life around, I need some direction in my life! Why do I put everyone's needs first and forget all about needs and I am angry about that? Here is what you will get while participating in The FLY Girl Effect Personal Development Course: Daily lessons and growth work on self-love, self-care, and personal development Daily affirmations especially focus on self-love, self-healing, self-care, and growth Four live group coaching calls with me along with recordings Private Facebook group to access lessons, growth work, networking, and coaching The FLY Girl Effect 30 Days Personal Development Course will start on your time!

Topics we will cover:
Week 1: Establishing Healthy Habits and Consistency
Week 2: Self-Care for FLY Girls-Taking Care of Our Physical, Emotional, and Mental Health
Week 3: Money Making FLY Girls-Get Money, Manage Money, and Learning Money
Week 4: Getting Our Entire Lives in Order-Freeing Ourselves From Chaos and Establishing Order

You will have daily assignments, weekly live video group coaching sessions, and a private Facebook group to hold sacred and safe space for your growth, struggles, and triumphs!

I look forward to having you in the FLY Girl Group!

We have various payment options to suit your needs. 

Payment Options

Deposit $44.00 USD Final Payment $44.00 USD Week 1: Healthy Habits and Consistency $24.00 USD Week 2: Self-Care for FLY Girls $24.00 USD Week 3: Get Money, Manage Money, and Learning Money $24.00 USD Week 4: Freeing Ourselves From Chaos and Establishing Order $24.00 USD

Why We Should Break Up with Martyrdom Because It Is Killing Us!!!

Today, I am choosing to dismantle martyrdom one action step, one video, one post, one thought, and one advocacy at a time. Martyrdom is killing Black People because we love to self-sacrifice ourselves to be liked, validated, accepted and love by people who really don't give an EFF about us. I must include our families in this not giving an Eff about us topic because some family members don't care whether we are holistically healthy or not as long as we are sacrificing ourselves to do for them why should they.

I am tired of seeing so many women in my family including my Mother, self-sacrificing herself for the sake of helping others who don't care. I am also tired of being pulled into that realm of being on the receiving end of the toxicity of deeming not to care because I choose to utilize the powers of self-preservation and not be used like a tampon. I am choosing to break the cycle of martyrdom because it is manifesting unnecessary stress which will turn into diseases and other fatal illnesses in which that will turn into an early death sentence and I am not about dying soon.

I am here to raise our vibration, awaken our inner FLY Girl and womanhood and distrust the patterns and pathologies that are not serving us. Black People have always sacrificed ourselves and find ourselves in the same situation all in the name to save another candidate, policy or whatever the case. We have put our lives on the line constantly and I am tired of not having others to do the same. Now is the tine to pull together to save ourselves.

Glorifying Busy Isn't Cute, Boo! (Video)

Please stop glorifying busy! When we glorify busy we are usually failing in other areas in our personal and professional lives. When we glorify busy we are ineffective and incomplete in projects, relationships, self-love, and self-care. You don't get a badge of honor for glorifying busy, being Superwoman, or saying yes all the time! You usually get burnout, onset chronic mental and physical illness, and used!

Stop glorifying busy and pass this message on to your folks who are "busy"!

You Are The Best and You Deserve The Best

Women don't believe they are the best at what they do. When you are the best and deserve the best you shine. Kanye think he is the best and we must all tap into our inner Kanye. Shine on the world!

Are You F.L.Y. (First Love Yourself)? Tips on Self-Care

"You cannot be useful to yourself others or God if you run yourself ragged. In order to serve others, give to others, you must first be able to serve, support, and give to yourself." -Iyanla Vanzant

Between the weather and my constant running around serving, supporting and stressing, I find myself suffering from either a cold, allergies or sinus or a combination of all three. My body said, listen Drea, you need to slow down, rest and recharge before I shut down on you. What am I doing? I am resting and writing the blog post. I guess you can consider me being hardheaded because I am not being mindful nor resting. Technically, I am indulging in self-care because I am spending time loving myself and loving you all for writing this post to share knowledge.

As women, we are faced with many responsibilities such as being a wife, sister, friend, daughter, aunt, colleague, coach, mom, organizer, counselor, President of an organization(s), entrepreneur, the go to girl, the go get it girl, the do-er and whatever else you want to add. I also realize as women, we take on a lot of people's stuff without blinking and eye. We don't realize how these things effect us, we internalize and suppress people's stuff and our our stuff and eventually self-destruct. We don't do a great job with setting limitations and boundaries with others. We also don't do a great job with putting ourselves first on our "to do list"  Hence, this is why we suffer from burn out because we don't take the time to love ourself first. In order, to help others, serve others and encourage others, we must do these things to take care of ourselves first.

Many women feel guilty when they love and put themselves first. I am here to tell you that if you don't take time to care for yourself, you will be taken advantage of, become resentful and become bitter. I don't want that for you, I want better for you. Self-care is a must! You are doing yourself a service when you care for yourself. Celebrate yourself by loving yourself and appreciating all your greatness. Check out some simple ways to start your self-care routine.

1. Listen to Your Body. Stay connected with your feelings and emotions. When you feel imbalance, it is time to reconnect with yourself. Rest, Relax and Recharge. To prevent illnesses and burn out, get out exercise for about 30 minutes, switch up your eating habits, for example, are you an emotional eater? Do you overindulge in alcohol? Eat lots of junk food? Exchange those habits with healthier alternatives such as eating a meatless meal once or twice a week, instead of alcohol try drinking herbal tea and take a nice warm bath.

2. Breathe. Breathing is such an underestimated positive coping mechanism. At times, we need to breathe in and out. Breathing helps with being mindful, slow down your tempo and helping you to appreciate YOU. Breathing also helps with relaxation. Let's try a quick breathing technique, breathe in and out for three seconds and repeat two times. Did you noticed a difference? Breathing help with slowing down and calming the body. Whenever you are in self-care mode, remember to breathe and be mindful of your awesomeness.

3. Schedule Time to Recharge. Do you glorify busy? Are you always on the go? If so, schedule/block off 10 minutes or more for self-care. When you schedule your self-care appointment, don't forget it. Go ahead and get your calendar, alarm or whatever organizational tool you use for scheduling to block off your self-care time. Don't reschedule yourself nor allow anyone to interrupt your self-care routine. You need to refocus, recharge and reinvest in you.

4. Take a Vacation/Stay-cation. When was the last time you took a vacation or stay-cation? Now, if you have to think about this question, you haven't took a vacation/stay-cation in over a year. You don't have to go far to getaway. You don't have to be a planner to plan an amazing vacation. With the help of Groupon, Living Social and others coupons, you can go on a weekend getaway. If you don't have the financial ability to do a week or weekend getaway, plan a stay-cation in the comforts of your home. Watch your favorite movie, buy some aromatherapy candles, fragrances and body wash from Bath and Body Works and enjoy your at home spa. *Disclaimer* Bath and Body Works have a their semi annual sale going on now. Go purchase your smells goods for 50 to 75% off.* Back to the topic. You don't have to spend a lot of money to care for yourself.

5. Say No! No is a complete sentence and it will save you from having your plate full and burn out. When people know you are a giving person, that glorifies busy, and don't have boundaries and limitations, you are easy preyed on. People will take advantage of you, if you don't set boundaries and limitations. You must say no without any explanations, if you are compromising you. I can see some of you cringing about setting boundaries, limitations and saying no to people, places and things.  Saying no will protect you from heartache, headache, and burn out. Don't ever think that the world will end if you say no. That person may or may not understand but they will survive and find some else to assist them.

I hope you all will take heed to this blog post and start caring for yourselves. Let me leave you with this last quote from the amazing, strong, and powerful FLOTUS: Mrs. Michelle Obama. " Women in particular need to keep an eye on their physical and mental health because if we're scurrying to and from appointments and errands, we don't have a lot of time to take care of ourselves. We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own "to do" list. " -Michelle Obama

My questions to you: Are You FLY?  How will you start taking better care of yourself?

Thank you for reading Brown Girl From Boston blog. I love you all and thank you for your constant support.

XOXO,

Drea

If you like this post, we would love to hear from you.

3 Ways to Become a Smart, Savvy Networker: How to Thrive and Survive at a Networking Event!

How many of us receive invitations to attend networking events? At one point in time, we have all received invitations to attend various networking events to enhance our professional network and brand. I have a love/hate relationship with networking events. I feel that networking events can be a great tool for those who are serious about connecting with others. I have also been to networking events in which people are not networking but rather spend quality time on the phone, at the bar or remaining within their circle of friends. Don't let this be you!

Learn how to network like a Pro with the tips below on how to be a successful and effective networker!

Pre-Networking Tips:
Attire, hygiene and networking preparation are key to thriving at a networking event. Dress accordingly to the networking event. Check to see what type of networking event it is. Dress according to your style but always dress to impress. Don’t bathe in your cologne or perfume. Dabble a small amount of perfume/cologne on your pressure points on your body such as wrist, behind the ear and on neck. People are sensitive to scents and you don’t want to distract from making a meaningful connection. 

Don’t forget your business cards! Do you have enough business cards? If not, do you have time to print your business cards?  Make sure your business cards are prepared and professional. Do not use business cards with inaccurate, outdated or information crossed off. 

Prepare an elevator pitch. An elevator pitch should be short, sweet, and simple. You should introduce your business to potential clients. The elevator pitch is a 15 second to 1 minute story of your business designed to excite a prospective investor, partner, or employee. You should mention your business/company’s name, how you solve client’s problem, target audience, and services provide.  This should open up the conversation.

During Networking Event Tips:
Check your Attitude, make meaningful connections and have fun. You finally arrived at the event. Is your attitude in tact? If not, check your attitude at the door. You tend to wear your attitude on your face which can a make or break your effectiveness of networking and making meaningful connections.

Smile, make eye contact, be yourself and make meaningful connections. Don’t just stand in the middle of the room. Being anxious and nervous will occur if you are unsure of what to do while you are networking. Scan the room and look for someone who is mirroring you and make your way over there and build a relationship.  Introduce yourself, shake hands, actively listen (ask questions), be bold and let your personality shine. Mingle with a lot of people! Don’t just spend time with the person you came with. Breakout of your comfort zone.

If the networking event provides adult beverages, you should limit yourself to one drink if you can handle your drink. Know thy self! If you know that you can't handle the beverage, you should leave it alone. This also pertains to those who drink caffeinated and energy beverages for energy. Some people proclaim they need a drink in order to network. I guess some need the liquid courage. You should consider drinking the delicious beverage towards the end of the event.  

Post Networking Event Tips:

Following up is such a powerful tool. Don’t just collect business cards and let them collect dust. Follow up with the individual(s) within a 24 hour period after the networking event via telephone, email or snail mail. When you send an email, you want to thank the individual for their time, their patience and business card. Having an attitude of gratitude, establish rapport and open doors for further opportunities. Ask the individual out to have brunch, lunch or coffee and connect with them further.

Remember networking is an art! The more you network, the more you will develop into a smart, savvy networker.