For My Brown Girls: When Being You Is Enough

Hello to all my beautiful brown girls. I’m back with some profound and positive knowledge. As I contemplated on this topic, I was inspired by the lack of self-esteem, self-love, and self-hatred some of us are experiencing within ourselves. Somehow we as brown women at times demean ourselves, morals, conscious, and beliefs to be in the “in crowd” and for the opposite sex.

So I propose a question to you brown girls, Are you hopeless and lost?

First off, if you can admit to being hopeless and lost, than you are on the right track to self-preservation, self-love and self-restoration. You have to be willing to look yourself in the mirror and do something about the self-hatred, lack of self-esteem and lack of self-love. Do you see the connection with the word, “self”? If not let me break it down for you. Self is defined as your consciousness of your OWN identity. We all have some unresolved issues/emotional baggage that lie within self. That shouldn’t give us a pass to go around walking with our heads down, disrespecting ourselves and others, accepting abuse and inappropriateness, and remain in a state of unhealthiness. I believe if you have faith in a higher being and if you are willing to seek professional guidance and apply the guidance in your life, than you are on the road to a healthier and renewed you. If you are willing to change than you have to put in the work for change. Change doesn’t occur overnight!

Brown Girls quit fashioning after another sister’s pursuits, goals, looks and success. Being you is enough and you have nothing to prove to anybody.  Be you! Trying to be someone else is impossible because you don’t know what that individual had to lose or suffer to impersonate them. What the creator has in store for you is for you and only you. Don’t lose your dignity and respect because you want to be a copy cat. Be original and creative and pursue your own dreams, goals, looks and personality. Embrace your uniqueness!   If people don’t like you for being you, than it is time to move on and surround yourself with those who appreciate and embrace your authenticity.  

Sistahs, we need to cease the self hatred and the hatred of one another. Why must we be so negative towards one another? So what if she has on a pair of Jimmy Choo’s  shoes and she is wearing Dior Homme, be thankful for whatever pair of shoes and perfume you are wearing and can afford. She may have sold her soul for those material things. Let’s uplift, encourage, and support one another. We have no right to place judgment on anyone.  Embrace the skin that you are in. Whether you are light skinned, dark skinned, round, slim, have natural hair or relaxed hair, we are all beautiful. God created us in his image and that is an amazing thing to know. Beauty is only skin deep. Being beautiful on the outside and empty on the inside is useless, transparent, and limited. Outer beauty maybe able to get doors open but having character can keep them open.

Let’s continue to destroy the cycle by discovering our true essence by being positive, healthy, loving, and liberated. Surround yourself with like-minded people who are interested in growth, health, and living life your fullest. Misery loves company and we all should refuse to participate in a miserable existence.

Thanks for reading!

Stay Brainy, Beautiful and Brown! XOXO
Drea from Brown Girl From Boston

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I Am A Phenomenal Woman!

 "Whenever an elder dies within the village, a piece of history also dies" -Andrea C. Imafidon

While leaving an amazing breakfast in honor of bridging the gap of women inequality and raising the pay wage, I heard of the sad news of the passing of the original phenomenal woman, Dr. Maya Angelou. I am sadden of this news because she was a fierce leader who shared wisdom and was in sync with her passion and vision God set before her.

I remember reading "I Knew Why The Caged Bird Sings" at an early age for summer reading. I also remember being a freshmen at Tuskegee University, going to pageants hosted by various fraternities and sororities on campus and hearing young ladies reciting "Phenomenal Woman" by Maya Angelou. After hearing the poem being recited so many times, I grew to loving the poem and also living the poem by being an example of a phenomenal woman.

I just wanted to write a small blog post to honor Dr. Maya Angelou because she was a spiritual mother to all, she lived out loud and she was courageous throughout her life. Besides my mother, I am encouraged by Dr. Maya Angelou's poised, calm and radical demeanor. I respect her work as being a writer, orator, dancer, teacher and philosopher. Dr. Maya Angelou left a legacy that will be continued by many.

As an African-American woman, I strive to be the best that I can be and provide positive energy and light whenever someone cross my path. I am far from perfect but I am a phenomenal woman in my way. Being a phenomenal woman is also recognizing the greatness you possess, the energy and light you possess, living boldly and loudly, serving others and being the best imperfect human being you can be.

Below, I have listed my top five Dr. Maya Angelou's quotes/wisdom that I live by:

1. "Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it."
2. "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
3. "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
4. "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
5. "You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody."

Thanks for reading Brown Girl From Boston Blog!

Do you have a favorite Dr. Maya Angelou's quote? If so, share by commenting on this post. 

Much love,

Andrea

XOXO

My Biggest Aha Moment!

"I just got hit with the biggest aha moment known to mankind." -Drea Camille

God has a sense of humor and I discovered it today while making breakfast. Yes, during breakfast!  I was recreating a delicious and healthy breakfast that I had in Reston, Virginia this past weekend in my own kitchen in Providence. While preparing my breakfast, I was talking to myself and of course to God. I uttered my infamous and most common question to myself and God, "What is my purpose and who do you want me to serve?" As soon as I asked my question loudly, three individuals were revealed to me. Two of my friends from undergraduate and graduate school and one of my dear friends here in Providence.

Now let me give you the commonality of my three friends and myself. First, we are all college educated with at least a master degree, we are all within our late twenties and early thirties, young professionals, and African Americans. My three friends live in various places, one live in Birmingham, AL, one in Houston, Texas and the other in Providence, Rhode Island where I reside as well. I also forgot to mention that all four of us have or currently experiencing underemployment, unemployment or over-employment (over-qualified for one's person).  Let me remind you that none of my friends that I have mentioned know one another but we are interconnected through our friendship, education status, and employment status. Let me digress and stick with the subject matter!

Yesterday, two out of three of my friends called me for some coaching, conversation and comedy. I call it the three Cs from Drea. In both conversations, I went into both blindly not knowing that both conversations with two friends who only connection they have are knowing me was the same story of the struggle of unemployment.  *Disclaimer* Both conversations, I had yesterday were with my guy friends. Men usually don't discuss their emotions and feelings centering around losing something. They usually withdraw or deny their feelings. I must commend these two guys because they allowed me in their hearts and explore their vulnerabilities.

Both of my friends were both laid off from their well respected jobs within this year. Both dealing with the loss, picking up the pieces and receiving moral support from me. Yesterday, was the most I ever talked on the phone in a while to two people. LOL! While talking to my friends, I realize that these guys are so courageous, strong, and resilient for telling me their struggle in regard to being laid off. I even disclose to them my battle with chronic unemployment  within the last five years which led me to starting my first business as a professional resume writer in 2010 while living in Chicago. I encouraged them both to start thinking of alternative ways to generate income in the meantime to sustain their livelihood.

The moral to the blog post is that I went through my experience for a reason.  My purpose in life is to assist women and men of color who are young professionals, over achiever,  college educated to maximize their potential to live out loud and boldly by recognizing their God given talents, gifts and strengths. We are not taught in college nor in society to go after our dreams and passions. We are taught to be conformist and think instead the box.  I realize that I had to get out of my own way, stop over-analyzing, and share my story to people who are going through a temporary, tough time. I am thankful to God because without asking him the questions of  "what's my purpose", I wouldn't have recognize my purpose nor realize that I am serving people my tribe of people already.

"Be still and know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10

Thank you for reading Brown Girl From Boston! Please feel free to comment, share your aha moment, or simple say hello. Look forward to hearing from you all.

Drea,
XOXO